If Only
by Nadine8799
Summary: Theodosia Burr saw how her life went. She was born out of Aaron Burr and Theodosia Bartow Prevost's love. She fell in love with Phillip Hamilton and watched him die early. But when she saw her father shot Alexander Hamilton, it was the limit. She fell to her knee and begged God for a second chance.
1. Prologue

Caution: This fanfiction is not historically accurate. At all.

 **If Only**

 **~Prologue~**

 **THEODOSIA BURR**

It was dawn. A slight cold wind woke me up. My eyes met the bluish haunting eyes of his ghost. He has been haunting me ever since he had died. Or maybe, 'haunting' is the wrong word. He's been by my side. Philip Hamilton. My lover who died in a duel. His gentle eyes this night was different. It was washed away in worried. My sleepiness disappeared.

"I'm sorry sweetheart, but you need to wake up." He said, a hint of fear in his voice. He pointed to my coat.

"What is it dear Philip?" I asked back as I stood up and went to grab my coat.

He kept quiet.

"Philip? Answer me." I shot again. Philip is like his father, a man of words. So for him to suddenly not answer me, scares me. I went straight eye to eye with him. But he gave me no answer.

"PHILIP ANSWER ME!" I shouted back, nervousness catching on.

"Weehawken, New Jersey. Near the place I died. Please…" He said.

I took no hesitation and ran. My breath was ragged and Philip was behind me. I ran with how fast my feet can send me. From the distance I saw my father and Alexander Hamilton standing with a pistol in their hands. I was about to shout to stop my father, but I was too late. I saw Philip's father fall to the ground. My father rushed to him, but was ushered away. My knees fall to the ground. The cold wind hands of Philip on my shoulder trying to comfort me but my tears fell to the ground.

"If only." My voice husky and cold with the cold morning.

"If only I was able to convince you…" I stared at My Philip. He was about to open his mouth to protest but I interrupted him. "If only I was able to stop him…"

His hands went to my eyes to try to wipe away my tears, but the tears fall through his ghostly hand. I saw my father's eyes horrified when he saw me on the ground, crying.

"God. If you're listening. Please… just once… this once… Turn back time!"

I saw light, and everything turned from white to deep pitch black.


	2. Someday

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 1: Someday~**

Aaron Burr ran toward his daughter's room. Her scream woke him up in the middle of the night and he panicked. He forcefully opened the door and found his daughter, the small 9 years old Theodosia Burr, whimpering in her sleep. He went to her side and slowly moved her awake. As her eyes opened and met his, Burr sighed in relief. He noticed her eyes were somewhere else though, and it worried him a bit. As if this was not the world she was supposed to be in, as if she's still dreaming.

Inside Theodosia thought to herself, 'Was that really a dream?'

"Theodosia? My Angel? Calm down, did you have a nightmare?" Burr asked. He was calm as he pulled his daughter into his embrace, trying to calm her down. Theodosia eyed her father, suddenly feelings rushed inside her. Memories rushing into her. She remembered her mother's death, the Reynolds pamphlet, how Phillip's heart was broken when he knew what his father did, how Phillip died, how her father ended up shooting Alexander Hamilton right before her eyes. It wasn't a dream.

"Papa? What day is it?" she asked curiously, she eyed the window. Burr raised an eyebrow but pulled the blanket over his daughter as he answered her question.

"December 20, 1792. Is something wrong?" The proud father played with her hair and comforted her. Theodosia Burr took a deep breath. She knew what will happen in the future. This was a chance God had given her. She will not waste it. But when she felt her father kissed her forehead, Theodosia decided to start working tomorrow and rest for now.

"Papa, sing me that song you used to sing for me when I was little." Her sweet innocent voice asked him. She saw her father chuckled. Sure he would've chuckled, it had been so long since he sang that song. Burr moved a bit from the bed and laid next to his daughter. But nonetheless, he let her rest in his arms and started the sweet tune.

 _You will come of age with our young nation._

 _We'll bleed and fight for you, we'll make it right for you._

 _If we lay a strong enough foundation,_

 _we'll pass it on to you,_

 _we'll give the world to you,_

 _and you'll blow us all away..._

 _Someday, someday._

 _Yeah, you'll blow us all away!_

 _Someday, someday._

The small 9 years old daughter to sleep inside her father's arms.

* * *

When she opened her eyes. She saw how it's early out. But her father was no longer next to her. His spot was still warm so she figured he probably just woke up as well. Theodosia stood up and went to prepare herself. She found Burr downstairs, drinking coffee and reading a newspaper. She went to his side and gave his cheek a kiss. He chuckled.

"Good morning Papa." Theodosia smiled and went to take a glass of tea for herself. She heard her father replied her greeting as well. Then suddenly she felt a warm embrace from behind her. It was so longing, so sweet, a touch she had longed for.

"Good morning sweetie." Theodosia Bartow Burr. Mother. 1792… oh right… she's still nine years old… Mama… is still alive. Theodosia went to hug her tight, tears threatening to get our but she held it in. The mother was caught surprise, she can feel it and she hugged her daughter back. "Wow, your father wasn't joking when he said you had a nightmare last night."

Theodosia smiled to her embrace. Then the young girl remembered something, he met Phillip and Eliza Schuyler early in the morning exactly today. Theodosia walked to her father and asked if her mother can accompany her to the market. It was pretty surprising but Burr let him and her mother was excited to get out of the house once in a while. Then she thought is it even possible for them to fall in love to each other once more?

"We will be going now."

"Take care, and be careful." Burr said as he patted his daughter's head and kissed his wife.

"You have work, right?"

"I do. But I'll be home early tonight." Burr informed. The young Theodosia brows furrowed. She forgot why he said he would come home early tonight. Well, her memory doesn't serve her that well for now. Burr then caressed his daughter's hair again, "Can't wait for your first Winter's Ball, right?"

Theodosia smiled and nodded. Not long after, the mother-daughter held hands as they walked toward the bakery. As they arrived, her eyes landed on Elizabeth Schuyler Hamilton, Phillip's mother. Theodosia watched at her. The Eliza she remembered was old, tired, no more hope in her eyes. All because of Phillip's death. Once more, she thanked herself in her heart that God gave her this chance. At least, Theodosia was able to look at how Eliza was supposed to be. A real beauty, radiating with kindness and a cute smile.

"Eliza!" Theodosia mother's smiled excitingly and went to hug her friend. After all, despite father's and Sir Hamilton's friendly rivalry, they're friend. The rush of sweet memory of how the wives would laugh at how their husbands' relationship is childish made young Theodosia smiled.

"Mom? Is this all the bread we need?" The voice surprised Theodosia. A ten-year old Philip walked out of the bakery and to behind his mother. Then he realized the presence of Eliza's guests. Politely, he bowed.

"Oh, Philip, you remember Theodosia, right?"

"Of course. Good morning Mrs. Burr, how have you been?" he asked kindly. Theodosia's mother looked astonished.

"I am very much well. But you! You've grown so much since the last time I saw you Philip!" The other mother smiled and congratulated Eliza of Philip's growth. The small Theodosia tugged her mother's skirt and gave a look of plead to introduce her. She smiled and pushed her daughter forward, "Eliza, Philip, this is my only daughter, Theodosia Burr."

Eliza smiled at the small girl, bend, and kissed her cheek, "I remembered when you were so young. You've grown so much. So beautiful as well."

Eliza moved from the way of the two kids to talk to a woman her own age. That's when young Theodosia and young Phillip's eyes met. It was funny, they were staring at each other, trying to have a full look of each other, finding themselves attracted to the other company. Both of them were unable to mutter any word, only small blushes across their cheeks. In Theodosia's head was 'God falling in love with the same person all over again?'

'It's possible.'

The first to break the ice was Theodosia, bowing her head as she said, "Theodosia Burr. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Phillip awoke from his daydream and bowed as well, "Philip Hamilton. The pleasure is mine."

Both of them clearly had intention to continue the conversation but Eliza called and cut the conversation, saying they needed to go because their children is left alone. The kids smiled sadly and waved goodbye to each other, earning the mother's small laughter. They went part ways, but the kids took a peek of each other and their eyes met. Blushes painted both of their face.

Eliza laughed as she looked at her eldest son blushing, "Oh? Am I really looking at a blushing small Phillip?"

"Ma! Don't tease me!"

"Theodosia had grown to be a cute girl, no?"

"Truly." Phillip whispered to himself. He looked behind again, sighed in relief as he watched her walked in the bakery safely. He couldn't wait to see her again.

"Theodosia? What did Philip say to you? Your face is red as a tomato!" Theodosia, the mother, teased and her daughter only laughed back. As the young Theodosia waited for her mother to finish picking the breads they wanted, she realized something. Something was wrong. Something shifted. Now she knew what was wrong. The Winter's Ball wasn't supposed to be tonight. It was supposed to be a few days after Christmas and Phillip wasn't supposed to be in such a hurry the first time they meet.

It shifted. The time shifted.

'Of course it wasn't going to be such an easy thing to fix.' Theodosia grunted. What she knew for now is that she got to watch out for every single thing she needed. The young Theodosia watched as her mother went to her, smiling, she took her hand and started walking back to their house. The two Theodosia started busying themselves to fix their gowns better. Burr was home earlier, as he promised. Burr would smile when he looked at his two girls getting excited over such trivial matters over their dresses. Theodosia started coughing. Burr frantically panicked and the young Theodosia furrowed her eyebrow. The mother looked at her daughter, "It's nothing sweetie. I think I'll rest a few hours before the ball, yes?"

"Of course, Mama." Theodosia got up and grabbed her dress to bring to her room while Burr put his arms around his wife, he led the way for both of them. The second they were gone, Theodosia ran to her room. She threw her dress to the bed and grabbed her quill and a paper. Everything. She had to write everything down.

 _1792_

 _1793_

 _1794 May 28, Mother died._

 _1795_

 _1796_

 _1797 The Reynolds Pamphlet._

 _1798_

 _1799_

 _1800_

 _1801 Phillip Hamilton's death._

 _1802_

 _1803_

 _1804_

Theodosia took a deep breath. She needed to calm down. She's freaking out and it's not helping her memory. She took her time and wrote every single thing she could remember, every detail she could remember. She was so focused she didn't realize how long she had been writing. By now though, each year is listed with every particular events of the year.

"Why do you write like you're running out of time?" Burr's sudden voice made Theodosia jumped yet she continued writing. She was glad that her father didn't move from his position from the door.

"I just need to write something down." Theodosia muttered, "Before I forget."

"Ah, of course." Burr said, amused. Theodosia folded the paper and hid it between all her other papers, and when she realized it, Burr's hand was on her shoulder, "After all, you're one forgetful and clumsy girl, yes?"

"Your only daughter Papa." Theodosia had said it so proudly that Burr wasn't able to argue back. She took her dress and pushed her father out of her room for her to change into the dress. Burr and his wife waited in the living room with Burr not being able to shut up from flirting with his wife. Then Theodosia walked down the stair and Burr started having second thoughts. "That's it we're not going."

"What? Why?" the two girls in his life pouted.

"Both of you are too beautiful. Not risking anyone else taking you away from me." It earned laughter as they family to the Winter's Ball.

* * *

The Winter's Ball. Such a beautiful event. The ballroom was beautiful and the music played along in the background. Couples dancing and people talking. All this though, don't mean anything yet to one particular boy. Phillip Hamilton was in the Winter's Ball. He was waiting for Theodosia to appear, although he won't admit it when his mother teased him. He looked at his sister, still small, accompanied around by Eliza. Almost everyone was there, yet his eyes didn't land on anything satisfying to see. Many girls appeared before him, hoping he would ask them to dance. Really though, he had no interest in dancing. He simply walked around. Then he stopped. The Burr family walked in the ballroom. Aaron Burr lead, with his wife by his side, holding onto his arm. The small Theodosia Burr following behind them with a gleeful smile. Phillip Hamilton felt his heart went 'boom'. He watched and waited patiently as Burr introduced his family to Washington. He watched as she looked around, trying to take in the situation into his head.

Then they look into each other's eyes.


	3. Helpless

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 2: Helpless~**

"Oh God… she's pretty." Phillip Hamilton muttered to himself, never suspecting his father was standing right next to him and heard every single word he just said. Alexander Hamilton furrowed his eyebrows and looked at his eldest. He snorted to himself when he saw the love struck impression on Phillip's eyes. He was reminded about how he once looked at the mirror and saw the exact same expression when he thought about Eliza.

"Son, staring is quiet rude." Hamilton commented. It made Phillip jumped. He tried to regain his composure, but the blush on his face won't go away.

"Pops! Don't scare me like that."

"Scare you, eh? You were the one lost in thought looking at her."

"Well I can't help it. She looks really pretty."

"Why not try talking to her?"

Just on cue, the mother Theodosia met eyes with Phillip. He bowed slightly, have a smile as a reply. Then he took his father's hand and walked off the other direction, "And what? Embarrass myself?"

"Son. You are just talking, not making a one-man performance." Hamilton snorted, Phillip glared. These are the kind of times his pops is not a really helpful person. They stopped walking and Hamilton stepped in front of him, "You outshine the morning sun. Don't hid behind the clouds."

"Okay Pops. Okay." Phillip sighed and agreed. Just a talk, a small conversation, just like this morning. It should be easy, right? Hamilton brushed his son's hair and left to talk with Washington. Phillip turned around and the first thing he got his eyes on was Theodosia's eyes from the other side of the room. She was standing next to her mother who was talking with Eliza. Theodosia smiled at him and he blushed. It earned her giggle.

'Here goes nothing.' Phillip summon all the courage he could muster but was unable to move from his spot nonetheless.

"Hey Phillip? What's wrong?" this time it was Angelica, his younger sister, who made him jump from his position. Phillip took her arm and bent a bit to reach for her ears.

"I… might be having a little crush."

Angelica's eyes and face turned bright and she looked around. He knew what's going on her head. Which one is the lucky girl that stole my brother's heart? Phillip giggled at the thought. Phillip didn't let her take long to guess and subtly pointed at Theodosia who was busy talking with another guest. Angelica lit up and turned to her brother, "Why not try talking to her?"

Phillip laughed, Angelica shared the exact same thought as their father. But in the slightest way, Phillip is more like his mother, shy. It took Angelica a full five minute of encouraging him to talk to her till finally he gave in. Angelica gave him a thumb up and a sweet smile before pushing him away. Phillip made his way halfway across the ballroom. Theodosia left her family and walked toward him. They gave each other a bow and giggled at how formal they were. They turned to look at the dancing people, "How are you?"

"I'm great actually." Theodosia responded. She smiled and it struck Phillip's heart. Theodosia looked around at the situation. Her mother was talking with Eliza while her father made his way toward Washington and Hamilton to probably discuss about other things. Phillip gained her attention again.

"Do you like dancing?"

"Hm… the only dancing experience I have is standing on Papa's toes and let him lead me." Theodosia giggled as she remembered the sweet memory where her mother played music and her father and her would just swoon over it. Phillip watched with full interest.

"You have a really high pride being a Burr, huh?"

"I would say the same to you being a Hamilton. I heard the teachers saw Mr. Hamilton's talents within you."

Rosy color on Phillip's cheek as he looked away from her eyes in embarrassment. "Gotta be my own man, like my father, but bolder."

"I can see that." Theodosia complimented. They were about to continue their conversation when the younger Angelica showed up. Phillip introduced her to Theodosia. Angelica was still so innocent but her smile radiated sunshine and beautiful things. Theodosia couldn't help but feel safe around them. Phillip was trying his best not to blush so hard. Angelica was giving him away in any kind of conversation they are in. He's grateful, in a way, but it's also very embarrassing honestly speaking. Everything was going alright for the next few minutes. They would laugh, joke, complain about the politics stuff they got into in such an early age but nonetheless never ran out of topics to talk about.

Till Theodosia watched as her mother and Eliza separated from Martha. Her mother coughed and suddenly looked pale and weak. Theodosia watched as Martha made her way to her husband and his group, maybe to tell about her mother's condition. While Phillip and Angelica froze on their position Theodosia ran across the room to her mother.

"Mama!? Mama! are you okay?" Theodosia asked, gripping on to her dress. This is bad. The only time she remembered her mother making such a pained face was when she was really sick. But this shouldn't be the time. Her mother should be okay this year's Winter Ball… so why?

"I'm fine…" the older Theodosia gasped and held onto Eliza for support, "I'll be fine."

"Theodosia, you're not fine." Eliza refuted. She took good hold of Theodosia. Martha was quick to inform the group. Burr didn't care that his glass fell to the floor. He came running and picked Theodosia up. Hamilton went on the other direction, suddenly having something to do on his own. Theodosia were whispering comforting things to him, trying to stop him from making such a worried face. Eliza on the other hand advice that they should go home and rest which of course, Burr listened to.

"Come on, let's go home." But Theodosia refuted. She held onto her husband's but she had no intention of going home whatsoever. It was a silent debate between Burr and Theodosia until the Washington family came in to interrupt.

"Theodosia! Dear, please, you look pale!" Martha stated, joining on Eliza's side. The three of them were besties in away. So to look at another being so pale scare them of some sort. George Washington simply watched, he doesn't know what to do or say.

"Martha, I'm fine." The sick lady retorted but coughs followed her sentences.

"Mama…" the young Theodosia gripped the end of her mother's dress. Eyes pleading her to be fine. Theodosia surrendered at the thought of her daughter worrying about her. At the end they said their goodbyes to the others. Martha, Washington and Eliza hoped her health to return. Hamilton suddenly showed up behind them.

"I called a carriage, it's waiting outside." Hamilton slipped in and wished Burr for blessing. Burr smiled and thanked him. They went into the carriage. Phillip and Angelica watched the whole scene. When the Burr family was out of sight, he walked toward his mother. He tugged on her dress.

"Will Mrs. Burr be fine?"

"…I don't know sweetheart." Eliza's voice was hesitant and it made Phillip worried. He took a step closer and hugged her mother. Eliza broke and hugged her eldest son closer, "I don't know."

* * *

Theodosia followed behind her father carrying her mother. They entered the carriage Hamilton ordered and sat in silence at first. Burr was the first to break the silence, asking his wife's condition. Theodosia, on the other hand, couldn't breath. This shouldn't be happening. No. Something is wrong. She remembered clear in her mind that her mother would start getting this sick in summer of 1793. This was too early for the sickness to settle in.

That night, his parents gave her a quick kiss before retreating to their bedroom to rest. Theodosia knew her father wouldn't rest thought. Knowing her father, he would probably stay up all night watching her mother sleep. Worry consume him if he ever found her awake to just cough or if she started sweating a lot.

Theodosia found it hard to sleep. Each time her eyes were about to close, the memory of her past life, when her mother died, suddenly become clear in her mind. At the end, she did fell asleep, after lots of tries. The timeline paper in her hand, tears down her face as she succumbed to an unknowing pain.

She dreamed when the morning comes. Theodosia would be awake with her mother's hand holding hers. With her free hand, she would cover her yawn. When she was half awake, Theodosia would shift and hug her mother on her waist, head resting on her mother's lap, "Mama…"

"Shh…" The mother would soothingly calm her daughter down and gently brush her hair. "I'll be fine Angel."

It wasn't enough to satisfy her but it was enough to reassure her. She would bury her face deeper into her mother's lap and let her mother comfort her. Her mother would say, "I'm sorry we have to leave early, you were so excited about the Winter's Ball too."

She would refute, "No. You're much more important Mama." And she would get up from her lap and hugged her mother tightly, "Please, get well soon."

But it was just a dream.

The next morning, the next week, the next month. She woke up to her father's restless figure and her mother in her bed. She was desperate that she might lose her mother quicker than she should but she was also confused on why it's different from her previous timeline. Countless time her father would opted to stay in from work to watch over her mother but the older Theodosia would refuse hard. She would reassure him she'll still be here when he got home. None of them knew what to do. The doctor's medicine wasn't helping either. They continued the restless routine for so long in Theodosia's mind.

When will this be over?


	4. Concern

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 3: Concern~**

May 27, 1793.

Months after the Winter's Ball and Theodosia Bartow Burr still laid sick in her bed. Burr himself kept insisting that he wanted to stay on her side. He'll pass work for it but Theodosia didn't let him. She kept provoking him to continue working. _She'll be fine. She'll recover soon. She'll be there when I come back._ Small words he whispered to himself to soothe himself. The daughter also felt the impact. She took over cooking and few chores. Her mother hated not moving and helping around but she couldn't do anything. Theodosia walked into her mother's room. She left breakfast on the desk. She was sure to be quiet, not wanting to disturb her mother's rest but her mother woke up anyway. She reach out and brushed her daughter's cheek. Theodosia held the hand back. "I have a busy schedule today."

"Hm?" the voice was weak. "Care to tell me?"

"Of course." Theodosia's voice and her face was full contrast. She tried to be happy to raise her mother's spirit as well but the sad smile on her face didn't help. "I'm going to the bakery this morning. Mr. Jefferson and Mr. Madison is visiting this afternoon. I'm going for a walk in the evening."

She heard a small laughter from her mother. Her mother told her to go. Theodosia smiled and kissed her mother's cheek. She closed the door behind her. She didn't move. From inside, she can hear frantic coughs. Of course, her mother didn't want her daughter to see her so weak. Theodosia held back her tears. She took the basket from her room and put on a coat and scarf to warm herself. Theodosia saw her father in the living room, reading his work.

"Papa?"

"Theodosia, my angel…" He was clearly surprised. He has been sensitive to any kind of sounds a few late days. Each night, he would be up awake just to make sure his wife is still alive. Anyone would realize how restless he is. "Do you need anything?"

"I'm going to buy some bread."

"Okay. But be careful and hurry back, yes?"

"Of course Papa." She kissed his cheek and set her way. She pulled her scarf to cover her breath. It's May but the chill of the morning was still there. She met a few people on the street, most of them wishing for her mother's health and for her to be strong. From afar, Theodosia spotted Eliza and Phillip. Eliza saw her as well and waved her to come to them. Theodosia did.

"Good morning Mrs. Hamilton." She greeted as they were standing in front of the bakery. "Good morning Phillip."

Eliza and Phillip greeted back. Phillip was smiling excitedly even though he was holding bags full of breads. Eliza was no fool. In a way, she might be a cold reader or maybe it was just mother instinct. Because even though Theodosia had a smile on her face, Eliza was able to see through the mask. "You look awfully down in a bright morning."

"Yes, forgive me, my mother's state is worrying." Theodosia replied. No use in retaliating against Mrs. Hamilton. That's what she knew well from her mother's talking about Eliza.

"I'm sorry, this is not such a good topic in a great morning." Eliza apologized. The mood around them was suddenly down. Eliza sighed, sure she can see through the mask, but she's still not one who can control the mood. So she said the first thing that popped into her mind, "Well Theodosia, care to follow us home and bring some cookies as a form of wellness from us?"

"Well, I actually need to buy cookies for Mr. Jefferson and Mr. Madison's visit-"

"Buy!?" Eliza retorted. Phillip could only laugh sheepishly as he looked another way while Theodosia was clearly dumbfounded. Eliza took the basket in Theodosia's hand and gave it to Phillip. Theodosia had no time to react. Eliza held Theodosia's hand and started making their way toward the Hamilton house. "No. No. No. Dear. The best cookies are made yourself."

"I can't bake Mrs. Hamilton."

"That's why were heading to my house. I'll teach you some simple cookies, yes?"

"I'm sure Papa won't mind." Theodosia giggled and allowed Eliza to chat with her. Phillip could only chuckle to himself and followed behind the girl and woman he loved the most in his life. They wasted no seconds. Eliza and Theodosia went straight to the kitchen. Phillip waited in the dining room, writing new poets that passed through his head after looking at Theodosia. Angelica Hamilton walked in and started reading a book next to Phillip. Then Alexander Junior Hamilton walked in, sitting next to Angelica. He was reading an old book about law that his father owns. Minutes later, James Hamilton walked in and immediately discussing the law case Alexander Junior was reading. Honestly, this kids are too young to be studying this sorts of stuff but Hamilton never forced them. It was what they do to amuse themselves. The last to arrive was Hamilton himself with young John Church Hamilton in his hand. Hamilton put John on the chair across Angelica. Hamilton greeted good morning to each kids and gave kisses on their foreheads before heading to the kitchen.

"I know Theodosia won't ever resist my chocolate chips cookies." Eliza commented as she covered the chocolate chips cookies she made and put it inside the basket. Theodosia giggled and helped putting the cookies she made herself in the basket. Hamilton popped up behind his wife and hugged her.

"Isn't it too early for your delicious cookies, my dear?" she whispered to her ears. Theodosia, blushing, looked away and focused on the basket as she walked outside of the kitchen to give the couple some privacy. Theodosia put the basket down on the dining table and sat down next to young John. The kids inside the dining room talked to each other about the weather, politics, law, a few gossips here and there. Hamilton was the first to walk out of the kitchen, a sunny smile on his face.

"Good morning Mr. Hamilton." Theodosia greeted.

"Good morning Theodosia. How are you?" Hamilton greeted back. Theodosia was about to reply as Hamilton sat as the head of the dining room but then Eliza walked in. Breathing a bit ragged and eyes hazy. It was obvious what happened inside. Which begged to mention in Theodosia's head 'The Reynolds Pamphlet sex scandals should be happening now… did it get postpone?' Hamilton faked a cough and Theodosia's attention was averted.

"I am fine, and you Sir?"

"Better than ever! I have this great plan for the government." Hamilton started. Eliza sat down on her respective seat. She was still trying to compose herself from their activity before. The kids put down whatever they were doing to listen to their father.

"Of course. Your debt plan would be a great way to bring America to prosperity." Theodosia continued in, swayed by the moods around her. But just as she said that, Hamilton turned silent. He replayed what he said before in his head,

"…I believe I didn't mention it was some sort of a debt plan." Hamilton stated. Theodosia realized her mistake. She looked at her lap, not daring to look at Hamilton. _What to do? What to do? What to do?_ She doesn't know what to do. Phillip realized the tension and saved her.

"Theodosia? Pretty sure you mentioned that you have guests later."

"Oh right!" Theodosia stated. Thanking Phillip through a look. He returned her with a wink. The others didn't notice but Angelica did. She could only giggle to herself. Everyone watched as Theodosia took the basket off the dining room and bowed. She was just about to go but Eliza stopped her.

"Sweet Theodosia, will play over this evening with us? We would love to have your company for a small snack. It's one of the rare days Mr. Hamilton here is not going to work." Eliza mentioned as she nudged her husband in which Hamilton laughed along.

"Of course! Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. Hamilton. I'll take my leave now." Theodosia showed herself out. Hamilton was still confused as to the conversation before but decided to drop it. Eliza stood up after hearing the kettle. She started moving to put breakfast on the table. Everyone was talking about some puzzles and plans for the day. Phillip though, had a confused look. He suddenly stood up. He ran out of the dining room and came back with Theodosia's basket. The one that Eliza shoved to him while walking back to the house.

"Theodosia left her basket." Phillip stated the obvious.

"Oh dear."

"May I go and catch up to her? I am on my way to school." Phillip asked. A hopeful glee on his face. Angelica gave a teasing look while the other brothers only looked at each other in confusion. Hamilton nodded and started reading the newspaper.

"Please Phillip, that would be great help." Eliza said. He packed breakfast for him and gave it to her eldest son. Kissed his forehead and brushed a bit of his hair. Phillip smiled and kissed her cheek before heading over to say goodbye to his father. After brushing Angelica's hair and grabbing his school bag, he was off running after Theodosia. He was a bit too late, couldn't find Theodosia. So he decided to head toward Burr's house. It's still long before school starts anyway.

As he arrived, he knocked on the door. Burr opened the door and was amused to see Phillip on the doorstep. They both haven't been officially introduced but Burr knew it was Hamilton's son. He did saw him in the Winter's Ball, standing next to his daughter, smiling… and laughing… Okay now he's feeling overprotective of his own daughter. Phillip looked at him straight in the eyes, full of confidence as he asked, "Pardon me, are you Aaron Burr, Sir?"

Burr raised an eyebrow and closed the door behind him, "That depends, who's asking?"

"Oh sure! Sir! I'm Phillip Hamilton, I'm at your service, sir." Phillip bowed a little and then showed the basket he's holding, "I am looking for your daughter…"

Burr tensed, "…what for?"

"Sir!" The sudden excitement in Phillip's voice broke Burr's tensed mood. "Your daughter left her basket in my house. I brought it to return it to her. May I see her, sir?"

"Just give it to me." Burr stated and grabbed the basket that was handed to him. He internally laughed at how disappointed the young Hamilton was as he lost his chance. He faked a cough, "I'll send your regards to her. Thank you."

His face lit up under a second, "Yes sir! Thank you very much."

Burr watched as Phillip walked out of his porch and head to school. He walked inside and realized the basket doesn't really have anything inside. He walked to the kitchen where Theodosia was preparing snacks. He put the basket on a counter. Theodosia saw it and her eyes lit up, "I forgot that at Hamilton's. Who brought it here?"

"Mr. Phillip Hamilton." Burr answered, a bit hesitant.

"Oh? Is he still here?" Theodosia asked and was drying her hand and taking off her apron. Burr stopped her.

"He left, he's going to school." Suddenly Theodosia was down. It took Burr's interest… and left him self alerted. Nopeeee he's not ready to hand Theodosia to anyone else. Don't blame him. "So… about Hamilton…"

"Oh yes, I will be going to their house again in the evening. They asked me to join for some snacks. Is that okay?" Theodosia asked so plainly cute Burr couldn't say no.

He sighed. How did he let himself surrender to such cuteness? His eyes landed on the plate on the counter, "What's this angel?"

"Mrs. Hamilton's chocolate chips cookies. She wanted to give it to mother." Theodosia mentioned. Burr smiled and took the plate, taking one cookie for himself as well.

"I'll bring this to her room then. If Mr. Jefferson and Mr. Madison comes, open the door yes?"

"Of course." Theodosia replied as she continued preparing her snacks and watching the water she's boiling. She watched her father went out of the kitchen and heard his footsteps on the stairs. After a few more work in the kitchen, there was knocks on the front door. Theodosia jumped from her spot. She took the apron off and washed her hand before walking to the front door. She opened slightly to see who it was. Tall man and a shorter one. The tall one was wearing a purple coat while the other one was visibly red in the face. They're familiar to him. When she realized who it was, she opened the door wider and let them in, "Mr. Jefferson. Mr. Madison. Good afternoon."

The two men laughed and smiled at the young girl. Madison was about to greet back but instead he coughed so Jefferson took over and greeted back, "Little Miss Theodosia Burr. Delighted to see you."

"Good afternoon Miss Burr. How have you been?" Madison greeted back after regaining composure.

"Great! And you Sir?" Theodosia let them walk in, closing the door after them. She led them into the living room and asked them to sit on the couch. Madison coughed again.

"I've come to a fever and nothing is helping… other than that I'm fine."

Theodosia chuckled, "I'll call for Papa. Please make yourself at home."

She walked out of the room and walked upstairs to get Burr. Her mother was sleeping and the plate was empty. Burr smiled and patted her head before he left. Theodosia over to the mother and silently took her breakfast matters from the bed side table because she was resting. Theodosia kissed her mother's cheek before leaving. She didn't notice her mother smile as she closed the door. Theodosia, after washing the dishes, was staring at the tray. On the tray was cookies she made with Eliza, three tea cups and a tea pot. Yet she's staring as if it's not right to serve them this. An idea clicked into her and she moved to work on the idea.

In the living room, Jefferson, Madison and Burr was talking about work. They're not really related. Only looking at each other's point of view. Between law and politic. That was when Theodosia knocked. Burr voiced out to let her in. Theodosia's head appeared between the gap, "Excuse me, I brought cookies and tea."

The men stopped working and sat comfortably as Theodosia walked in and put the tray down. Jefferson leaned closer, "Cookies? Hm~"

"It's my first try. I hope you like it." Theodosia mentioned. Well, she shouldn't have mention that, it's like saying the taste is bad. She sighed internally. Burr was not hesitant as he took a bite out of it. Jefferson and Madison followed.

"Miss Burr if you can make cookies better than this I'm kidnapping you." Jefferson stated. The look on his face showed how much he wanted to hug the cookies plate and have all the cookies to himself.

"Don't even think about it Jefferson." Burr glared. Theodosia giggled as she started putting the tea cups on the coffee table. Madison reached over.

"Oh wait, Mr. Madison, that's not yours." Theodosia took the cup from Mr. Madison's hand and to Jefferson' front. She took another cup from the tray and gave it to Madison, who looked at her with confusion splattered on his face. Theodosia smiled reassuringly, "This one is yours."

"And for what reason is my cup of tea different?" he asked. He wanted to give a scowl look but the tea smelled nice. Burr and Jefferson just watched.

"Yours is herbal tea. It should ease your fever." Theodosia smiled and hugged the empty tray to her chest. Madison took a sip and was charmed immediately. Burr and Jefferson took a sip of their own tea. Madison looked at Burr with a pleading look.

"…Burr-"

"Theodosia go and hide yourself in your room before I kill these two future kidnappers." Burr declared. It made Theodosia laughed and bowed at the men.

"I'll be taking my leave then. Excuse me." And Theodosia took her leave. There was a visible grunt from Jefferson and Madison. She closed the door behind her and she could hear Jefferson scream.

"Nooooo Miss Burrrr! Don't goooo!"

They talked for hours. After lunch together, Theodosia asked permission to go to Hamilton's house in which Jefferson and Burr grunted while Madison asked for her to be careful. After the lunch, they don't really have anything else to talk about so they simply sat in the living room, talking random topics.

"Whoa… Thomas look at this." Madison noted and shoved few papers to him. Jefferson read it, twice to make sure he realized what he's reading. Burr only watched. Madison continued, "Theodosia wrote this, I think? It's very much concerning about Women Rights, isn't this too big of a topic for a little kid?"

"Burr did you know about this?" Jefferson asked. If this papers are used against him in a cabinet meeting he might have to watch out.

"My wife and my daughter are very intelligent. I don't know about this, but I'm not really surprised." Burr stated. Most of the things Theodosia know is taught by his wife and himself. So of course Theodosia would have the passion of women right from her mother to her. Madison and Jefferson looked at each other and was amused.

* * *

It was around 4 in the evening when Theodosia is close to the Hamilton house. Just a few houses close to the Hamilton house, Theodosia's eyes landed on someone she knew. Mrs. Maria Reynolds was standing in front of her. She doesn't realize Theodosia was watching her and Theodosia is debating with herself whether to introduce herself or not. The way Maria is standing, so alienated there, made Theodosia sure the Reynolds Pamphlet Scandal haven't start. If she could confront her now, it might lessen the work. So she did, walking up to Maria and asked her, "Excuse me, Ma'am, what are you doing this late alone?"

"Oh! Uh… I was just taking a few walk outside, I was wondering who lives here." Maria smiled. She couldn't fool Theodosia. She could feel a small fear from the voice. Theodosia looked around. Few houses away is a figure Theodosia remember as Mr. James Reynolds. Theodosia looked at Maria once more. A deduction comes up in her mind. Maria Reynolds didn't seduce Alexander Hamilton on purpose, she was forced by her husband, who also abuses her, James Reynolds.

Theodosia took a deep breath.

"That's Mr. Hamilton's house." Theodosia answered. A cold wind blew and Maria, wearing nothing warm visible, shivered. Theodosia took the scarf off and put it around Maria's neck. Maria watched the kind act and couldn't help but feel grateful. "You should go back now Mrs…?"

"Maria Reynolds, and you are?"

"Theodosia Burr, nice to meet you Mrs. Reynolds." The sweet instant of interaction felt odd for Theodosia. She thought Maria would be a manipulative woman who brought trouble to the Hamilton family. But the woman standing in front of her just gave her a soft smile as if nothing is wrong.

"Nice to meet you t-

"Miss Theodosia! I thought I heard someone familiar." James and Alexander Junior was in front of the porch, shouting at Theodosia. On the porch was Angelica and Phillip waiting for her to come. Maria looked happy and interested at the children. She looked like someone who could take care of hundreds of kids and would still be happy. Theodosia couldn't bring herself to hate her.

"I have to go." Theodosia asked herself. Maria started to took the scarf off but Theodosia stopped and tucked it nicely back. "Please, keep the scarf. It's getting windy after all."

"Of course, thank you dearest." Maria said and Theodosia took her leave. As she looked back, Maria was still watching the kids with gentle motherly smile. The second Theodosia was on the porch, she watched James Reynolds approached his wife and the hurt expression on Maria's face could only indicate that James was shouting mean things at her. Theodosia gripped her knuckles and let it go.

She'll fix it. Soon.

They were on the back lawn, enjoying the sun. It's rare to see Hamilton without pen or books or papers around him so the scene Theodosia is watching is a bit unusual for her. Hamilton was playing around with James, Alexander Junior and small John. Angelica with Eliza side by side laughing along. Theodosia and Phillip was taking rest under the shade of the tree. She wanted to enjoy the moment, but the scene before couldn't get out of her head. Theodosia leaned tiny closer to Phillip.

"Hey… Phillip, quick question?"

"Sure."

"Where did you go last year summer?" Theodosia asked. Phillip looked at her and without second thought and answered.

"To our grandpa."

"…did everyone go?" She asked. Her eyes fixated on Hamilton. This timeline is a bit different from the previous timeline. In the previous timeline, she never once saw Hamilton played this long and freely with the kids.

"Well, Aunt Angelica and her husband came. Uncle Laurens and Aunt Peggy was there to convince Pops to take a break. So yes, everyone came."

Theodosia frowned and looked at Phillip for the new found information. "…Uncle Laurens?"

"Yeah, you know… Mr. John Laurens? The one who formed the first black battalion and Mrs. Margaret Schuyler Laurens, my mother's sister and Mr. Laurens' wife." Theodosia froze. What she remembered was that Peggy got married to another man and Mr. Laurens died being shot. Nowhere in her mind would go as to them being married. So a few things also changed about before she was awake. Well, she's going to change how the story goes, of course it won't be easy. Phillip reached out to brush over the frown on Theodosia's face. She pulled away quickly. They stared and blushed. The action catching both of them off guard. Theodosia stuttered and stood up.

"I'll go home now then. It's getting late." The young Theodosia remarked at the sun starting to set. In cue, Eliza popped in and told her it was late and she should get back home. Theodosia smiled back and said her goodbyes to the Hamilton family. Phillip walked her to the front of his house. Theodosia turned, about to set off but Phillip took her hand.

"Hey Theodosia?" The blush was faint but still painted on his face and inside Theodosia was praying _Please don't talk about what just happened. Please don't talk about what just happened. Please don't talk about what just happened. Oh God please don't talk about what just happened._

"Yes Phillip?" She furrowed her eyebrow and waited. Phillip's eyes, from the ground looked up to hers.

"Whatever happens, I'll be here for you."

Her eyes blurred. She wanted to cry. Her mother's health… is not getting well at all. For a second there she was so focused about the changes in the timeline, she forgot about her own current troubles. There's nothing she could do. All she could take in was Phillip's sure hand on hers as she smiled and blink away the tears, "Thank you Phillip.

* * *

 **Writer's note:** Haven't been writing notes for a while. Just wanted to say, thank you for the comments. It does gives me support to continue writing this stories. Tell me your opinions and thoughts more please. I'll try to update ASAP each time I get a chapter done.


	5. Reprise

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 4: Reprise~**

 **THEODOSIA BURR**

It was midnight. I woke up to my father shaking me awake. I couldn't see his face well but he didn't care. He caressed my hair and started speaking, "Dear Theodosia… how to say to you?"

I noted that his voice was cracking. As if a bit more push and he would cry, he continued, "Sometime last hour… your mother breathed your name."

I held my breath. "And like a flame that flickers out too soon… she died… She's gone."

I felt my heart empty. Father was sobbing and held me gently inside his arms. Tears fell down from my eyes. I wasn't able to mutter a word. Too frozen, too shocked, too panicked to insert any information in my head. All I was able to do was hugged my father back. Let our cries decrease the silence. Mother died. One year earlier than when she was supposed to. In the real timeline she died May 28, 1794. It's May 28, 1793. Just 6 months after I had been reborn into this world. I couldn't seem to hold my tears back. It was just flowing, like a river, down to the clothes we wore. I remembered the first time she died, it wasn't this sad.

Maybe the pain of losing someone twice is this big.

I knew there was nothing I could do to save her. Unlike Phillip and Mr. Hamilton's death, mother's death is by cancer.

In the funeral, Father was trying his best not to cry in front of me, or the guests. He wanted to be strong cause he knew how much mother hates looking at him sad or angry. He had always had that patient everyone thrived to have. But this time didn't work. When the Hamilton family came to say their goodbyes to Mother and cheer us up, father cried to his best friend's shoulder. Mr. Hamilton was ready to be the shoulder to cry on. He was there every second.

This didn't happen the previous timeline but that didn't shake me.

Something that did shake me was Mrs. Hamilton. We had gotten close over the span of six months. I wasn't smiling, wasn't ready to talk. I'm scared if I open my mouth the only thing that came out will be cries. Mrs. Hamilton also didn't say a word. She came to me with a black dress, it didn't really suit her bright image, but the situation force her to wear it. She stood next to me and after a while she gently patted my head and pulled me to an embrace.

Exactly like how mother hugged me.

I cried to her shoulder. Pulling her closer, trying to feel her warmth around me.

Mother's gone. I couldn't save her. There's nothing I could do to save her.

Mrs. Hamilton hugged me so tight, and she didn't let go until she deemed I have had enough. She smiled at me and brushed my hair. But when we pulled back, we both had red eyes, tears running down our cheeks. I lost a mother, Mrs. Hamilton lost a best friend. My head couldn't remember what tone she used to say it but I remember her mouthing, "I'll be here for you."

At the corner of my eyes I saw Mr. Hamilton patting my father's back. Reassuring him that everything will be alright. Angelica came to them, giving father her handkerchief. To my side, Phillip had his hand on my shoulder and offered me a handkerchief as well. I received it and wiped my tears away. They tried to smile, proud at me, praising that I am a strong girl.

But I am not strong. I need to be strong.

Mother died, but there's two more people I can save. I won't fail.

I hate black. The color on me only makes me sad. The sign of losing someone… I don't want to lose anyone else. When mother was buried, I was holding my father's hand. It was raining, not hard, but raining. He said it meant that even God mourned Mother's death. The Hamilton family was on the other side. Mrs. Hamilton was crying again, on Mr. Hamilton's chest while Mr. Hamilton had his face down to the Earth. Thomas Jefferson, James Madison and the Washington family had come as well. Mother served them well while we were at war and Martha Washington was in the group of mother's best friend too.

I looked at my father. I couldn't separate the rain from his tears.

I don't want to see him this broken again.

* * *

Father weep for few weeks. He drowned himself to work, no matter how many times Mr. Hamilton came to get him to rest. Father didn't change to cold or abusive, he's just lonely. Mother knew what's best to do for this kind of times. She would come up with small surprises to cheer him up or just walk around smiling to brighten the mood up. Father would usually give up the bad mood and enjoyed the good mood Mother spread. This time mother's not here. This time I can't depend on mother. She's watching from Heaven. I won't let her down.

I took a deep breath and I can feel my fingers, holding the tray, trembling. On the tray was a cup of tea and cookies that Mrs. Hamilton taught me. Mother's recipe. It was still a newbie's result but I have to give it a try. I knocked on the door, seconds later, I heard my father letting me in. I opened the door and walked in. The room was a mess. I had to be careful or I might walk on some important papers.

"Yes Angel?"

"Papa, please have some rest." I begged, cutting straight to the point. I watched as he tensed, then sighed. He put the quill down and turned around. I was frozen. This is my first try on calming my father down. He looked at me. His eyes were baggy and anyone can tell he was weak. When his eyes met mine, it softened. When his eyes looked at what was on my hand, he smiled like a little child. I nudged it upward, "…a cup of tea and cookies?"

He chuckled. It's been so long since I heard that. It filled me with relief. Especially when he actually sat down with me and we started talking about lots and lots of topics. I couldn't help but smiling when he smiled as well. I couldn't remember the last time he was this happy. When the tea and cookies, which he praised was 'just like how your mother made it' on my first try, were almost out the doorbell rang. I stood up and took the tray. I was about to head for the door when father stopped me, "I'll open the door. Clean the tray okay?"

"Yes Papa."

Imagine my surprise when I found the Hamilton family in the living room. Father and Mr. Hamilton having a brother to brother talk while Mrs. Hamilton and Angelica watched over the kids. Phillip looked up at me, smiling tenderly. I smiled back. I went to my father's side and gave a small curtsy to the guests, "Good evening… if I had known there would be a visit, I would have made more cookies."

"Well, we'll be here for dinner actually, so want to make cookies together?" Mrs. Hamilton sat from her seat and I agreed easily. Angelica decided to stay and talk with the others. Mrs. Hamilton followed me to the kitchen and both of us started baking. I remembered in the past timeline, I would watch mother and Mrs. Hamilton bake cookies together. No… not now… I saw my tears dropped to the kitchen counter. I gulped a small cry. I thought Mrs. Hamilton didn't notice but she did. She wrapped me around her arms, just like before, "She dedicated everyday to you. She changed Mr. Burr's life, made it worthwhile. And when you smile…"

She took my chin up and forced my teary eyes to look at her. I tried to smile as best as I could and she looked at me smiling too, "I know a part of her lives on."

I sniffled my cries and laughed with her. Mrs. Hamilton laughed alongside with me and I calmed down. Both of us continued the baking and while waiting for the cookies to bake, we started singing a few songs together. Who knew Mrs. Hamilton was such a great singer? Mr. Hamilton sure is lucky. Papa, Phillip and Mr. Hamilton walked in the kitchen, Angelica following behind them. They grumbled something about the smell being too delicious that they couldn't wait. Mrs. Hamilton and I laughed as we took the cookies out.

The evening went great.


	6. Pure

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 5: Pure~**

Winter's Ball of 1793. Basically Theodosia's second Winter Ball and first one without her mother in this timeline. The party was crowded, as usual. Still, it's not as fun as when Eliza, Martha and Theodosia would walk around like the Queens of the ball. Eyes were usually on the three women. It made Hamilton, Burr and Washington proud that they have something the other men will never have. But now, Martha and Eliza was enjoying standing with their husband.

Theodosia wore a beautiful gown to the ball. Other boys around her age was staring at her, but none of them dare to talk to her. In fear of saying the wrong thing to her. After all, the last year Winter Ball didn't end up the good way.

Theodosia went over and talked with Phillip and Angelica. Reminiscing the memories from a year ago when they met. They watched as Hamilton danced with Eliza whereas Washington and Martha soon followed along. Madison and Jefferson talking with John Adams on another corner of the room. After the dance, the husbands and wives split up. Theodosia walked toward Washington. There's a question from her previous timeline which she never had the chance to ask. So she took the chance to ask it now.

"Mr. Washington?" She called for his attention. Washington turned and gave her all the attention she needed. Theodosia asked, "I'm curious… do you have no interest on having children of your own?"

Washington furrowed his eyebrow. Confused at the question. Pretty rare for someone young to be asking such question after all. As Washington took another look at Theodosia and realized she was serious, he chuckled and answered, "I'm the squad's father. I have way too many children."

"The… what?"

"See Theodosia, I don't need anymore kids. I have a loudmouth one, an always-sick one, an all-so-serious one, a popular one, and a lazy dum-dum." Washington answered, counting on his fingers as well. Theodosia looked around the room.

"In order… Mr. Hamilton, Mr. Madison, Papa, Mr. Jefferson, and…" Theodosia furrowed her eyebrows, trying to think of the possible last person. Washington was waiting for a name to pop in her head.

"Mr. Adams." He dropped.

"Oh." Theodosia shuffled, a bit surprised. Then she imagined what it would be like in the office, if all five ever work together. Hamilton and Jefferson debating each time, Burr and Madison trying to calm them down and Adam just watching without action. She could imagine Washington just shaking his head in tiredness. "…well, you certainly have your hands full."

"And I consider their children my grandchildren." Washington continued. He looked at Theodosia as if she was his own granddaughter. Washington didn't hesitate as he brushed her hair gently. Theodosia smiled back and thanked him. He was about to leave to talk with another person. But he didn't leave before he mentioned to Theodosia, "Your mother was a lovely and fierce lady, Theodosia. And a part of her lives in you. I know that one day, you'll make us proud."

Theodosia couldn't help but smile.

* * *

So days, weeks, months, years passed. Theodosia kept living in her new reborn live. Not much happened ever since her mother's death. She's not sure why but she prepared for the worst just in case.

1798\. It's a beautiful sunny afternoon in the city.

"Hey? Sweetheart?" Eliza walked in to her eldest son's room with a few letters in her hands. Over the course of 5 years, Eliza had only grown more beautiful. Sure there are signs that showed she's old but her beauty never ceases. It made every possible men jealous of Hamilton and Hamilton proud of himself. Phillip, on the other hand, grew taller and more handsome. Not only by looks, his knowledge grew more. Many girls fawn over him, especially his poets. Which brings us back to why Eliza was barging in Phillip's room. She was reading the letters from her father and sisters. Phillip hurriedly covered his papers and stocked them away before his mother was able to peek. Eliza raised an eyebrow at his curious behavior. "A few of your teachers had been asking why you haven't come up with any new poets."

"Uh… about that…" He looked around as if trying to come up with something. Eliza moved to the side of his desk, putting the letters she held on top of the stack of papers he had just moved but Phillip didn't realize it, he was too busy thinking.

"What of it, sweetheart?"

"I… haven't… got any good inspiration?" the thirteen years old Phillip Hamilton looked at his mother, with a convincing smile. Eliza smiled and pinched his cheek softly. She grabbed the papers and started to make her ways far from the room.

"Well, I hope you get inspired soon then Sweetheart."

Alexander Hamilton walked out of his study room. He was sleepy, tired, wanted to get some rest. Many would think he didn't grow much, but everyone could see the changes and effort he made through each passing day. Hamilton saw his wife walking toward him, reading few papers. He knew from the look of it, she's not paying attention of where she's heading. So he did the first thing he could think of, wrapped his arms around her waist from the back and stopped her, "What are you reading Eliza?"

"Goodness Alexander. Look at this."

She showed the papers, she took from Phillip's desk before. She was only able to get 2 papers out of the stacks of papers but that's not important. What's important is that both of the papers is filled with love poets. Lyrics to praise someone, awe someone, seduce someone. Hamilton read the poets and was slightly taken back by surprised, "Did my son actually write this?"

"He really is your son."

"Ha! I'm teasing him so bad tonight."

"Alexander!"

Just when the two lovebirds were about to share a light playful kiss Phillip shouted from his room, "MA! I THINK YOU BROUGHT SOME OF MY PAPERS WITH YOU!"

Then Phillip showed up, running in full speed toward his parents. He grabbed the papers in Eliza's hand, giving back the letters and taking his poets. He stopped abruptly, looked up to his parents, "…did you read it?"

"Nope. Your father stopped me before I was able to continue reading any letters." Eliza lied, Hamilton chuckled. Phillip nodded, slightly unsure, and ran back into his room. His hands clutching the papers tightly. The second he was out of sight, Hamilton attacked his wife's lips. Eliza smiled to it and snaked her arms around Hamilton's neck.

"Do I get a say on how you lie?"

"It's for his own good. Alexander Hamilton, do not tease him tonight or I'll be caught red-handed." Eliza fired back then continued a sweet kiss on her husband, "Sleepy?"

"Yes." And with that simple answer the two couple went to their bedroom, sharing a nap which they rarely do. Hamilton was tired but he had to say he wouldn't sleep well without hugging something. Maybe it was an effect of always hugging her late mother when he slept, then it was his squad, and sometimes at desperate calls, a pillow would do. Yet now he has Eliza. He didn't need to say a single word. The second he got settled on his side of the bed, Eliza came right into his arms and he embraced her.

This time something felt different.

"Eliza, my dear, is it my feeling or are you warmer?" Hamilton asked and buried his face into her hair. He can feel his wife fidgeting under his embrace.

"It's nothing. I'm just tired this last few days." Eliza answered. Now Hamilton knew fair well his wife is not the type to lie but he also knew that she would if it meant no one else need to worry. He shrugged it off, hoping for the best. Took the blanket and covered mostly Eliza, trying to warm her more than himself. Hamilton closed his eyes and the couple's breathing synced as they slowly drifted asleep.

It was the next day that Eliza was caught red handed. Hamilton left for work, telling her that she maybe needs some more rest. Eliza wanted to, but she would rather be moving than just staying still. Around 11 in the morning, Theodosia knocked on the door. Eliza opened it, giving her best smile. Eliza took a good look of Theodosia. She had grown much more beautiful than her mother. Theodosia had a smile of sunshine and she's not a girl to be played with. Eliza tried to keep her face from showing how dizzy she was but after a few odd stares from Theodosia, she knew there's nowhere to hide. Theodosia furrowed her eyebrows and commented, "Mrs. Hamilton? You look pale…"

Eliza gulped, "It's nothing dearest Theodosia. Please come in, you want to meet Phillip ri-"

Eliza fell to Theodosia. Theodosia's instinct kicked in and she caught Eliza in her arms. The young Theodosia compared her temperature to Eliza and realized she was having a fever. Inside Theodosia panicked, but she needed to calm down. One deep breath and she shouted, "PHILLIP!"

Phillip came running out of his room. Half excited, half nervous. Because he knew Theodosia is not one to shout. When he saw her trying to hold his mother up, he ran to help, "MA!"

"Can you bring her to her room?" Theodosia carefully shifted Eliza to Phillip. He took her and Theodosia ran to the kitchen. He's not powerful but since Eliza was still a bit awake, he simply helped her walk. Phillip laid his mother down on her bed. Took the blanket and cover her. Heart beating, pulse racing. He's panicking.

"Okay. Okay. Calm down, what do I do now?"

Just in time, Theodosia walked in with a tray. On the tray was towels, a bowl of water, tea cups and a tea pot. Phillip looked at Theodosia as if she was a lifesaver, well she technically is. Theodosia sat next to Eliza and put the warm towel on Eliza's forehead. Phillip just watched, too panicking to do anything helpful. After a few things, Theodosia stood up, looked at Phillip who was still worried. She giggled and went to his side, "Shh Phillip, it'll be fine. You go grab a pen and paper and write a letter requesting Mr. Hamilton to come back early, okay?"

Phillip snapped out of his panic and ran to his room to do exactly what he was just told to do. Theodosia focused back on Eliza who was mumbling. She walked closer, gently and slowly Eliza reached for her hand. "Theodosia… I am fine, go back and play with Phillip. You haven't seen him for a while, right? He was very excited for your visit."

"No, Mrs. Hamilton." Theodosia declined. She was trying not to cry. She was trying to smile so that Phillip won't worry too but at the end she couldn't hold it in. She gripped Eliza's hand slightly tighter while her eyes started to blur with tears, "I have already lost my mother… I don't want to lose someone I thought as my own mother."

A pang of guilt crossed Eliza and she smiled. With all the energy she had left, Eliza brushed the tears away from Theodosia's cheek. "…okay."

"Please rest Mrs. Hamilton. I'll be right here whenever you need me." Theodosia reassured her and stopped her own crying. Eliza pulled her hand back, nodded and closed her eyes. Few minutes later, she was drifting to sleep and Theodosia released the breath she didn't realize she was holding.

"THEO-" Phillip ran in back the room. Theodosia raised her finger over her lips. A sign to quiet down.

"Shhh… Mrs. Hamilton is resting for now. Just be silent for a while." She said as she stood up and went over to Phillip. He closed the door behind him.

"Yes, of course. I already sent the letter."

"Thank you Phillip."

"Will Ma be alright?" He asked, hands pressed together as another frown appeared on him. Theodosia held his hand to try to calm him down.

"Yes, she just overworked herself, that's all. A few hours of rest and Mrs. Hamilton will be fine."

"…I don't want to leave her side." Phillip squeezed her hand. They had promised to spend the day with each other. He was looking forward to this day since long ago but really, he doesn't want to leave. It didn't take long for Theodosia to give him a warm smile. She rested her head on his chest and pointed to the couch inside the room.

"I know, that's why, how about we read a book on the couch together." Phillip smiled. Time stop. All Phillip focused on was the girl in front of him. For sure, they had been through 6 years together. They're not official and all but he does feel a bit overprotective at some point. One good look at how Phillip had grown taller than her and how he felt like he could spoon her and cuddle with her. A look of confusion from Theodosia and Phillip was left blushing of his own thought. He held her hand and led them to the couch Theodosia pointed at. Phillip grabbed the nearest book available. They started sharing the book. Reading from chapter 1.

"Hey, Theodosia?"

"Yes Phillip?"

"Thank you."

Theodosia smiled and the two teens continued reading. Around five in the afternoon, Hamilton arrived in the front door of his house. His breathing ragged, he was panting hard. Angelica only smiled to herself when she saw her father ran as if it was the matter of life and death. Hamilton opened the door with the strength he could muster left, "I came as soon as I heard!"

"Shh Alexander. They are sleeping." Eliza shushed him, pointing at Phillip and Theodosia sleeping. Theodosia had her head leaning on Phillip's shoulder while Phillip's rested on her head. She was sitting on the bed, enjoying the cold tea and few cookies that was on the desk near her. Eliza looked at her husband. She never saw him like this before. Desperate and anxious. He used to be one who's loudmouth but passionate. Hamilton, on the other hand, felt like God had given him the best news he could ever received. That his wife was okay.

"…how are you?" Hamilton asked, swiftly and silently made his way toward her.

"Much better." Eliza smiled and asked for his hand which he gave gratefully, "Theodosia and Phillip took care of me and didn't want to leave me alone."

"Are you sure you're okay?" He furrowed his eyebrow and tightened on the soft hands of his wife. He took it and kissed it gently. Slowly, he settled to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Very much."

"Good. Don't scare me like-"

"Alexander Hamilton did you actually run here?" Eliza asked sternly. She took a new towel that Theodosia put near her just in case and swiped the sweat on her husband's face. Hamilton only smiled to being spoiled by her.

"I was scared anything happened to you." He muttered, "Yes, I ran here."

Eliza giggled and smiled. She pulled Hamilton eagerly and shared a kiss with him. Showing just how much she loves him. Hamilton kissed her back before complaining that he wanted a bath. Eliza giggled and told him to go which he did after a few more stolen kisses. While Hamilton was in the bathroom, Eliza nudged Theodosia and Phillip awake. Thanking them both for taking care of her and that she's feeling better now. Phillip and Theodosia was relieved. Theodosia excused herself to grab a drink, leaving Eliza alone with her eldest son. Phillip watched Theodosia leave and Eliza leaned closer to him, "You didn't do anything weird to her did you?"

Phillip blushed mad red, "Ma! Really? We were worried sick about you and that's the first question you asked?"

"Well, considering how you both ended sleeping cutely like that, I need to ask."

"No!" Phillip retorted. Then he was silent as he remembered how cute Theodosia's face leaning on his shoulder which lead him to blush more. In a storm, Phillip ran to get outside the room. Avoiding the topic as much as possible. It left Eliza giggling and laughing in the bed she shared with her husband. Theodosia spend the rest of the morning playing with Phillip. Angelica and the brothers would tease Phillip about her while Theodosia remain oblivious to the teasing. Eliza opted to rest if Hamilton would rest with her which he complied to immediately.

After the visit and playing with the Hamilton family, Theodosia started heading back to her house. Phillip wanted to escort her but she refused. She can take care of herself, thank you very much. Phillip just smiled proudly as he watched her go. Theodosia took the long way home. She wanted to enjoy the view a bit more. As she passed, Madison and Jefferson walked out of a book shop. No books were bought though, their hands were empty. Their eyes landed on Theodosia and with no hesitation Jefferson shouted, "Miss Burr!"

"Mr. Jefferson! Mr. Madison! Good day to you!" Theodosia greeted and walked toward them. She took a small curtsy that was returned. Jefferson and Madison couldn't help but smile.

"And you! My, you're looking more beautiful each passing day." Madison praised.

"Thank you for your compliment." Theodosia said as a small blush appeared. Jefferson gave a teasing smile.

"And I heard you've mastered useful skills~"

"Thank you for that as well." Theodosia chuckled before giving a disappointed smile. "I do hope I can be of some assistance next visit. Forgive me for missing the previous visit, I was out buying ingredients for dinner."

Jefferson grinned and leaned a bit toward Madison, "Madison, remind me to only visit Burr's house when Miss Burr is home."

Theodosia laughed, the disappointed smile disappearing from her face. The men smiled victoriously. Madison engaged once more, "Miss Burr, we've known you since you were little. So pure and educated. Honestly I don't think I have ever heard you tell a lie."

"I dislike telling lies, sir. It only makes things complicated."

"Such straightforward philosophy." Jefferson snickered on which he received a small smack on the back of the head from Madison. Theodosia only giggled before she moved her attention to Madison.

"Well, I heard you caught the fever again Mr. Madison?"

"Oh yes! Thank you for the herbal tea. Thank God Burr gave it when it's still warm."

Jefferson pushed Madison to the side to gain Theodosia's attention, "Miss Burr do you, by any chance, have herbal tea for loudmouth bothers though?"

"I believe you are talking about Mr. Hamilton."

"I'm caught red-handed." Jefferson put his hands up to the air as if he was caught by the police.

"Such a tea doesn't exist Mr. Jefferson. And even it does I wouldn't give it to you." Theodosia told straight on. Jefferson and Madison could feel the stern in her voice and was slightly surprised. It was Madison's turn to snicker.

"So pure, never telling a single lie." Jefferson imitated Madison… and he got another smack.

"It has its ups and downs." Theodosia shrugged in which Jefferson and Madison nodded along. Theodosia looked at the sun. It was still sunny and all, but she's starting to feel hungry for lunch. She looked back at the men. "I should be heading back now."

"Of course!" Jefferson remarked and fixed his coat before giving a final curtsy.

"Do be careful on your way back home." Madison added and walked the other direction from Theodosia, she waved the goodbye. After she made sure they are away she turned around. She smacked to another boy's chest. The impact was on her as she fell on her butt. Theodosia's hand went to check on her head which was slightly dizzy. She looked up to see a boy a bit older than her. He offered a hand to her. "Forgive me, I wasn't watching where I was going."

"No, forgive me. It was my fault for suddenly turning around without looking." Then their eyes met. Theodosia watched as the older boy visibly blushed. Her head moved to the side in slight confusion. A leaf landed on his hair, plus the blushing looks on his face made Theodosia giggled. It kinda made him look cute. After making sure her clothes are not dirty, Theodosia's hand stretched to his hair to remove the leaf, "You have leaf on your hair."

The boy flinched in surprise and his face turned redder than it was before. He watched as Theodosia let the wind blow the leaf away. His eyes were unable to look away from her face. Theodosia's confused eyes snapped the boy back to reality. He started stuttering as he asked for her hand, "Um… uh… Joseph Alston, at your service. Miss?"

"Theodosia Burr." Theodosia extended her hand.


	7. Jealousy

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 6: Jealousy~**

Joseph Alston stared at the girl he had run into. Something about her made his eyes glued to her. Maybe it was the sunny smile she has or the soft hand in his hand or the beautiful dress she was wearing or the way the sunlight made her skin shine or how weak he felt his knees were? Oh ho ho, if only he knew he had a rival to have her heart. Nonetheless, he took the hand he was holding and kissed it.

"Such beautiful and fitting name for a lady." He praised. Theodosia took her hand back, did a curtsy and was about to leave to go back to her house. But Alston stopped her as he held her wrist desperately. Theodosia found him staring at her, slightly pleading, "May I have some of your time? Perhaps lunch?"

"Now sir?" Theodosia stopped her step. Well, not like she could move with his gentle grip on her wrist. But after a few seconds at staring in her eyes, Alston pulled his hand back and looked at her a bit shy. Though Theodosia would honestly say it was kinda cute, she still knew about stranger danger. Especially the fact that she's a girl.

"I would like to know you better! I'm new around here so I want to find a friend. Well, I mean, if you have the time of course." He continued. Theodosia looked at him as if he was a lost lamb. But reciting what he said in her head, Theodosia couldn't find any sign that the boy in front of her was lying. So she looked at the sun, still shining brightly. She still needs to go grab a few ingredients for lunch and dinner. Might as well do it after lunch. Theodosia looked at him again, then around. It's still noon so many people are around so if he is a dangerous man then Theodosia can easily call for help. Alston offered his hand to circle. Theodosia gave a small sigh.

"Well, I see no harm to it."

So she took his offer up. They had lunch. Talk about themselves, hobbies, family, history, politics, languages, arts, every other topic that crossed their mind. Alston would lie to himself if he said he's not falling in love with her. The more he learned about her, the deeper he fell. The way she held her composure while being passionate about politics. How proud she was talking about her skills and her family. Sure, he also talked about himself, but he doesn't care about those at all. It's rare to see any woman that would go for such lengths when they knew they would end up only as their husband's shadow. Alston shook his head, not this girl though, this one would stand next to her husband and fight as well if she could. When he knew it, he fell deeper in love.

Then suddenly it was time to go back. Theodosia stood from her seat, reasoning that she have something to do as well. Alston wanted to stay… a bit more… a bit longer Theodosia gave him hope as she said, "Well, I need to buy ingredients for dinner. So I will take my-"

"Let me accompany you!" Theodosia was a bit startled. Alston have the blush back on his face. Was it too much? Well, they just met… sure it's a bit too much. Theodosia could only giggle once more. Just like before, when he asked for lunch. Alston's heart melted at the sound.

"Well, if you don't mind helping me with the groceries."

"Of course!"

That was a bit of a wrong decision. After going around buying ingredients, learning some few tricks to buy the fresh ones and paying the price, Alston and Theodosia was on their way to Burr's house. While Theodosia was holding a bit more that Alston, he's still having a bit trouble with the weight of the groceries. He felt a bit weak after watching Theodosia was so easy with hers. He shrugged it off at the end, she's used to this much more than he is. He had no reason to shame. Theodosia's paced slowed a bit as she said, "My house is near here."

Alston have a sigh of relief but after realizing that it means less time with her he panicked a bit. Alston started, "I do find interest in you as a lady. May I offer lunch for another day?"

"Perhaps." Theodosia teased. As she looked next to her, it was as if she's looking at a pouting puppy. Theodosia tried to held in a laugh, "I can clear some time for you."

"Oh, am I in the presence of a busy lady?"

"Yes." Theodosia answered then laughed at the way Alston had asked her. A few more paces and she stopped in front of her house. "A friend of mine, Phillip Hamilton, and I are working in a small project together so my time is mostly used up."

"Hamilton? Ah, I am friend with Miss Angelica Hamilton. She is a lovely pianist. I saw her play in a small show once." He commented as they walked into the Burr's porch. Theodosia let Alston put the groceries he's holding on a small desk next to the door. Alston put it down and sighed in relief that the weights' off his hands.

"Yes of course. Angelica Hamilton is Phillip's younger sister. And Angelica did learn from the best on how to play piano." Theodosia said, mentioning Eliza. She took the key and opened the door. There's an awkward silence… tension between them. The sun light down the porch. It's getting darker by each second and it's a reminder that Joseph had to leave before it's night. Theodosia was first to act, "It's getting late. I'll get inside now then, if I may?"

"Of course! Of course!" Alston fluttered. "Be careful on your way home, Miss Theodosia Burr."

Theodosia furrowed her eyebrow in confusion, though there's a funny smile on her face. "Shouldn't I be saying that?" Alston realized his mistake and blushed red. Theodosia giggled, watched as he walked out of her porch backward, waving small hands and mouthing good nights while still red on the face. Phew, a day with him is full of laughter and giggles. Theodosia shouted a bit, "Be careful on your way home, Mr. Joseph Alston."

Alston stopped, bowed a bit, "Of course, Miss Theodosia Burr." Then he left with a childish helpless smile on his face.

* * *

The next morning was Saturday.

"PHILLIP!" Angelica shouted as she stormed in Phillip's room. From the distant Eliza screamed 'Angelica keep your voice down!'. Phillip jumped on his seat, a few papers flew from his table because of Angelica's sudden entrance. He sighed, stood up to pick up all the papers.

"What is it Angelica?" he asked. Angelica immediately got comfy as she laid on her brother's bed and started recounting what happened yesterday. Phillip eyed his sister, carefully sat down on his seat again. Silence from Angelica means she's thinking and most of the times, Angelica's thinking of devilish-like plans. So Phillip took his choice and ignored Angelica completely. His hands started moving the quill and his brain focused on his writing. Angelica peeked and smirked.

"Mr. Joseph Alston had lunch with Theodosia today." Phillip's quill fell as he froze. "And he had that cute expression of a young love on his face. Much like you when you look at Theodosia." Phillip's head turned and looked at his sister in disbelief. He received a sly smirk from Angelica. "And he wanted the three of us to have lunch together too."

"Are you implying he wants to court Theodosia?" Phillip asked, the papers forgotten on his desk as he stood up.

"Implying? That's weak. I'm saying. Because he actually came to me to ask for advice." Angelica's eyes were teasing. Ones that would make Phillip annoyed for the rest of the day. But instead of feeling annoyed, Phillip felt butterflies in his stomach. Not the good kind. Confusion was written all over his face. Angelica sighed, "After playing with us yesterday, Theodosia bumped to Joseph… literally. They had lunch and he even walked her back home."

"No. No way." He countered but when he looked at the teasing face Angelica was giving him he knew she was serious. Phillip slumped back on his chair. Clear look of distress on his face. He massaged his head. To be honest, his head's not what's hurting. His heart is. A pain inflicted on him, one that he's not familiar with. "Seriously? While she's not with me, she's with some other guy!?"

"You have no right to be jealous big brother. Theodosia's not yours to begin with." Angelica dropped the sentence as if she was stating the obvious but for Phillip it's a whole different story. He looked back at their times together, yep, even after all these years he never actually officially court her. So being jealous is not within his rights. Phillip slapped his forehead. Maybe a tad bit too hard.

Angelica stared, "That must've hurt."

"Angelica!" Phillip shouted as he ran to his sister's side, "What do I do? It'll be so weird if I just suddenly ask her now, would it?"

"Of course it would." Angelica rolled her eyes. She sat up on his bed and looked around the room before laying her eyes on her brother. Phillip was looking at him with clear puppy pleading eyes. Angelica sighed, "What are you trying to do anyway?"

"Break them apart." A bit of negativity aura oozes out of him.

"…you don't need to go that far." Angelica giggled to herself, brushed of the negativity aura around Phillip. He laid next to his little sister and started whining. Angelica tugged him, "Here's what we're gonna do."

Phillip sat still and listened to Angelica's plan. Hamilton walked in to check on them, received glares from his oldest daughter and oldest son, raised his hand for defense, and slowly walked back out.

* * *

On the other side, Theodosia was carrying her basket in her hand. A handful of bread in the basket as she looked around for stuff she rarely buys. Her father's out of town which means it's the perfect time to try new things to cook. Her eyes landed on jars of jam. She read and found new interesting flavors. Alston walked in the same bakery, he looked around. He thought, 'According to Angelica, Miss Theodosia Burr should be at the bakery early Saturday morning to pick up some bread.'

When his eyes landed on Theodosia looking at new jams, he checked himself. Okay. Clean, presentable and ready. Nope, his heart's not ready yet. It's still thumping too fast to actually function. But who cares? He wanted to talk to her more than care about such small detail. Well, there goes nothing. Alston walked up to her and waved a small hand, "Good morning, Miss Theodosia, if it isn't the loveliest girl in the place?"

Theodosia put the jars down and looked at him weirdly. Alston's heart suddenly stopped, wondering why she's looking at him like that. She took out a handkerchief and tapped on Alston's cheek, "You got some smudge on your face."

Alston's face was red, he wondered how many times had that happened. Theodosia pulled her hand back and folded the handkerchief. She eyed him, wondering if she did anything weird because suddenly he was frozen and red. She was about to ask for his condition when suddenly Angelica appeared behind him. Sunshine smiles on Angelica's face as she greeted, "Good morning!"

"Good morning!" Phillip greeted along, appearing behind Angelica. Though one thing is different, Phillip's smile was a bit forced. Clearly he had seen what happened and before. Theodosia greeted them back and Alston tried to regain his normal face color.

"Oh! Joseph, these are my friends. Angelica Hamilton and Phillip Hamilton."

"I actually met Miss Angelica yesterday, we were talking about, maybe having lunch together." Alston cut in. He looked at Angelica, who supported him right back. HIs heart felt relief.

"Yes! He said he knows this restaurant that have good food and pretty good music to dance to."

"Are you talking about the restaurant near the park?" Theodosia's interest perked up. She clutched her basket tightly. "I've always wanted to go there."

Angelica sold a winning smile. Alston took his chance, "Well, I actually already reserved a table, would you like to join us?"

Alston's hand was offered to Theodosia. Phillip looked at her as if it was a matter of life and death, jealousy- envy- bubbling in him. Angelica was just having fun looking all the drama. Theodosia considered her options. Usually, Saturdays are her personal day. It's the day she would take a break and write about what's different between her timeline and this timeline. What changed, what's going on, what might happen.

But she really does want to try that pasta they rumored was super good.

'…I can push the writing to tonight.' Theodosia thought to herself. Then she nodded as she went to accept Alston's hand, "Sure-"

"Forgive me for intruding but I really _realllllyyy_ need an older sister role right now. May I steal her for a few minutes?" Angelica cut in. Theodosia haven't even touched Alston's hand when Angelica took hers and looped their arms together. Phillip and Alston was both surprised, though Phillip was faking it.

"Well of course. Take your time." Alston replied. Phillip was different. He smiled softly, took a step near and took the basket from Theodosia's arm.

"I'll hold onto it till you two finish the sister talk, okay?" Phillip wasn't really offering. Theodosia respected it though, answering with her thanks and a smile. As the girls walked away, Phillip turned and glared at Alston. Alston was confused- and maybe regretted he didn't do that instead. Phillip smiled happily at his small victory.

Angelica and Theodosia walked out of the bakery. When they were out and were sure the boys would never be able to hear them, Theodosia leaned in. "What's the matter Angelica?"

"Phillip is jealous of you hanging with Joseph here. I think, if I hadn't done this, we would have to go to Joseph's funeral tomorrow." Angelica stated. Theodosia blinked, process what she just said then laughed. Angelica's laughter followed after. As they calmed down, Theodosia looked at her darling friend that she thought as her own sister. Then something caught her attention.

"Wait… Sir Joseph said he met you yesterday… does that mean?"

"Yup, him meeting you today was because I told him you go here every Saturday, and yes, him knowing the restaurant you always wanted to go to was from me too."

"Doesn't that mean you're _not_ on your brother's side?"

"What's the fun in it if brother have the whole advantage?"

"You are a sneaky girl Angelica." Theodosia dead-panned, but it cued the laughter on both of them. She looked through the window of the bakery. Phillip and Alston were watching them, confused why they were both laughing. Theodosia focused back on Angelica, "So… what do we do now?"

"Ooohhh you're interested in playing boys' heart Theodosia?" Angelica raised an eyebrow, looking at Theodosia in a teasing way.

"Not really. I'm asking you this because I'm not really good at acting. Now that I know the truth, I wouldn't want them to fight over me." Theodosia answered back. Well, she's already madly in love with Phillip, so even with all the effort Alston put in, it won't really change anything.

"I see. You're really nice Theodosia. Well, I still want to get lunch there. So, why not accept it, invite Phillip along and just… see how it goes?" Angelica considered. Theodosia ran over few scenarios in her head. The ups and downs of it. After a few seconds of thinking and giving much thought about it, Theodosia agreed.

* * *

 **Writer Notes:** Oh, did I mention I'm also a fan of In The Heights? So expect some more of the lyrics from In The Heights? I guess? Well, thank you for all the reviews! It really made me happy and kept me going. I'm really not good with writer's note so um... I'll update soon!


	8. Confession

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 7: Confession~**

Angelica and Theodosia walked back in the bakery. Saying that Phillip should also join because they don't want him to feel left out. Clearly there was displeased and droopy in Alston's face but he hid it quickly. They walked back to waste some time at Theodosia's home until it was lunch time.

The four were in the living room. Angelica playing the piano while Phillip and Alston played chess to pass the time. Angelica was singing a song and Phillip would sing along in a few lines. Secretly for Phillip just to feel a bit advantage of him. Theodosia was watching the two play while enjoying Angelica's tune. As Phillip moved the horse he glanced at Theodosia, "Now that I think about it. Pops is staying this year. He had a few things to do with his work. Ma tried to convince him, but he insisted on staying."

Then Theodosia stopped. Her mind racing through the previous timeline. Maria Reynolds. The Reynolds Pamphlet. The confrontation. Hamilton's stupidity. For a second she forgot to breathe. Phillip caught the slight change and looked at her, worried. Theodosia found his worried eyes and felt air through her lungs again. He buried his intention to ask what happened for a second there and Theodosia silently thanked him for it.

"I'm a bit worried though. Pops' not really good at taking care of himself, especially when he's caught up with work. I'm scared he might forget to eat or something like that." He rolled his eyes. Perfect timing as Alston took another of his piece.

"If it calms you, Papa and I can visit for dinner sometime just to check on him."

"Hm… no. I don't want to bother you two."

"It's fine. I'm also a bit worried now."

"Well, maybe…" Phillip pointed a piece to her. "But! only if Mr. Burr said it's okay."

Theodosia nodded along, humming at approval. At least that means she can rest assure a bit more. She has a lot to do this summer. It'll be tiring but it is what she's in this timeline for. Theodosia gazed at the chess board, then at the clock. "Come on, it's about time we get moving."

Angelica finished her song easily. But Phillip and Alston was not done yet. They whined to at least finish the game. Theodosia sighed, "Why? The game is over." She stood up, grabbed Alston's queen and moved it to another square. "There we go. Checkmate. Alston won."

Alston stared at the chessboard, didn't even realize that one move was all it took for him to win. Theodosia walked away to ready herself. Angelica was snickering behind the piano, the look on her brother's face too good not to laugh at. Phillip accepted his defeat though and was a good sport.

Then they were in the said restaurant. Angelica's actions and words, that's how the four people sat down on a circle table. Theodosia ending up between Phillip and Alston with Angelica in front of her. Theodosia felt a bit heavy and annoyed between the two men because they had been glaring at each other ever since they were at Theodosia's house. Angelica though, was enjoying the moment. A smile and fun grin on her face as she watched her brother getting conflicted on something he didn't know he had won.

"May I take your order?" A waitress came. She was amazed at the two handsome men sitting a bit closer to Theodosia. Angelica looked up the menu once more, the other three followed. Food, drinks, snacks and then the waitress left to give the order to the chef. Angelica put her hands on the table and smiled gleefully.

"We didn't get to talk much at Theodosia's house, but tell us a bit about yourself Joseph." Angelica asked to muse herself. After all, they had only met yesterday and most of the time it was talking about Theodosia. Phillip was clearly annoyed at his sister asking that but to be honest he was a bit curious as well. Theodosia simply looked with interest. She had talk a bit on yesterday walk with Alston so she knew a few things.

"There's not much to tell about me. I prefer to hear more about you actually." At this point, Alston was looking at Angelica. She was caught off guard. Theodosia was too. Phillip suddenly feeling a bit protective of his sister. "I can't help but notice a few boys adoring you on the way here Miss Angelica."

Angelica blushed. It was the first time Phillip and Theodosia had ever seen the happy-go-lucky, sneaky, clever Angelica actually blushing in front of another man. She had always have her composure together at all times, something aunt Angelica taught her how to do. But she lost it just now. Angelica couldn't refuse the invitation to talk. "Well my Pops, Alexander Hamilton, was the one who taught me how to play piano and sing-"

"Wait." Theodosia cut in. "Mr. Hamilton taught you? I thought Mrs. Hamilton were the one who taught you?"

"Yeah, many also thought that. But nope. Pops taught us piano, Ma taught us French. We just practice with Ma when Pops is away for work. Pops is also the one who taught me how to sing."

It was Alston's turn to cut in with an admiration, "Where you have a real talent too."

Phillip and Theodosia was too amused at Angelica blushing to actually care by now. They talked and ate and drunk and talked more. Somewhere along the way, Theodosia didn't know how, the mild conversation turned wild. Somewhere along the line, Phillip slipped and the conversation heated. Theodosia and Angelica was too confused of what happened. What they knew were suddenly Alston stood up and fled off. Theodosia ran after Alston, slightly looking disappointed at Phillip's behavior.

"Mr. Alston-"

"Joseph, please." Alston answered her call. He had turned around the second Theodosia called him. Standing together in front of the restaurant. Alston looked through the window of the restaurant. He looked at Phillip pouting at Angelica, guessing Theodosia probably said something that made Phillip pouted and Angelica slightly giggling.

"Joseph." Theodosia tried the name out of her lips and surprisingly it didn't feel weird. Alston, on the other side, flew to the seventh cloud. "I am sorry for what just happened."

"No. It is my fault in a way. I already hear from Angelica yesterday that you are fond of her older brother. I trust he is a fine man, if not a bit jealous." Alston defended Phillip. He knew this is a mistake on his actions because it means his chances of having Theodosia from himself is less now but he did it anyway. And with that, Theodosia smiled in relief. Alston new he made the right mistake.

"Yes well-"

"I will be leaving again soon. My father needs me back." Alston said which caught Theodosia off guard. He was hopeful for a second when he saw a small hint of sadness in Theodosia's eyes.

"Oh?"

He took out a small paper that had been sitting in his vest since the very morning. On it was his address. He offered it to Theodosia and she took it instantly in a sort of graceful way. Alston asked, "May we write to each other? If not more that friends?"

"Of course." Theodosia smiled. He could last for years with that smile. He could make some small trips back here just to meet her, maybe avoid Phillip altogether next time. Alston's head was going on and on with future scenarios that might come. He stopped when he realized Theodosia had tucked the paper away and was waiting for his reply.

"I'm looking forward to each your letters. I will take my leave now then." It hurt himself to say it. He took a few steps back and Theodosia was waving at him.

"Be careful on your way home Mr- I mean, Joseph."

"Of course Theodosia."

After Alston left, Theodosia found Angelica and Phillip in front of the restaurant door. They agreed to walk home. Theodosia prompted to walk a bit faster with Angelica, leaving Phillip a few steps behind, out of range to hear whatever Theodosia and Angelica were talking about.

Theodosia watched Angelica. Examining her. Theodosia remembered. In the past timeline, she was not this close to Angelica. She fixed it in this timeline. She's close with her now. But then again she was reminded at the past timeline. When Phillip died. Angelica went had a mental breakdown. She remembered when she would visit and Angelica would be waiting by the stairs, asking her if Phillip was with her. Theodosia shook at the thought. But this is another world. In this world, Angelica is smiling and happy and clever. The slight thought of Theodosia ruining her chances and must look at Angelica's hopeless eyes scares her.

Angelica felt the sudden tension around Theodosia. She waved her hand at Theodosia and averted her attention, "I might consider taking Joseph to myself."

"What?" Theodosia asked, in confusion and surprise.

"Well he's a gentleman! Plus, not like any other man is going to get to me easily with Phillip and Pops around but he got through with them." Angelica said. She knew she have slim chances, especially with Alston having his eyes set on Theodosia. But she could try. Theodosia was delighted to hear this. In the previous timeline, Angelica spent so much time with her brother, she never really went to look for boys but this time she's considering it. Theodosia's giddy with happiness.

"Really Angelica?"

"Better than letting him hurt alone when you drop the bomb that he never stood a chance from the very beginning." Angelica teased.

"I have nothing to say." Theodosia raised her hands in defeat. Then she remembered what just happened, "Or maybe something. You can letter with him."

"You have his address!?" Angelica shouted in happiness. Theodosia nodded and Angelica was prancing around her, "Oh my God, give me! Please!"

"Only if you promise no more of this sneaky plans, I don't think I can last long."

"You got it."

"Don't tell him I gave it to you though."

"Surrreee."

"You're going tell him, aren't you?"

"Maybe." Angelica teased. Theodosia sighed. As Angelica looked behind them, she giggled, "I'll be going first. You need to talk over with Phillip. I had my share of fun for today."

And Angelica left early, waving to her brother from the distance and ran off. Theodosia waited for Phillip to catch up. She knew him. Even if he feels guilty and just want the world to swallow him whole, he won't let a girl walk alone. She wasn't wrong. In matter of seconds, Phillip was next to her, slightly panting. When their eyes met it was neutral against pouting guilty nervous. Theodosia didn't mutter a word and continued to walk. Phillip wasn't having it. He stopped her by holding her arm and gesturing at the park next to them. Theodosia didn't take long to respond, slowly heading in to the park with Phillip next to her. Give it a solid five minutes of just walking around, Phillip trying to string the words together.

"Theodosia. I'm sorry. I don't what's gotten into me." That's the best words he got. Theodosia stopped her walk and Phillip stopped as well.

"You don't know what's gotten into you? At all?" Theodosia raised an eyebrow, somewhat taunting. Phillip mustered up his courage to keep looking at Theodosia's eyes. He knew that if he looked away, she won't trust him.

"…I was envious of him."

"I see. That's it?"

"That's it!? The way he smiled at you and helped you and talked to you and looked at you and… and, sure, I guess I was… a bit of a-"

"None of that now." Theodosia stopped him. She doesn't want to listen to him insulting himself. Theodosia took a step close, "You're a good man. But maybe tone down the envy part."

Then she giggled at the way Phillip nodded so eagerly. She smiled and Phillip's heart melted. Phillip looked down and muttered, "…i. w.u.. h..p .f y.. w.r. …e…"

"I'm sorry, did you say something?"

"It would help if you were mine." Phillip said it so smoothly that it caught Theodosia blushing. Phillip waited for a response. Somehow had a feeling that if he does anything now it would be too rash. After what felt like an eternity, Theodosia finally hugged him. At first he was taken by surprise but he got over it and hugged her back. She was small compared to him. Her head resting just on his shoulder. Which was the perfect height as Phillip was whispering to her, "I love you. I love you so much. Please don't make me have to look at you with another man."

"Took you long enough to finally confess." Theodosia said, her hands punching his chest slowly. Phillip was laughing now as he held her closer, not even caring that they were in a public place.

"Were you waiting?"

"For years! Years, I tell you! You kept me waiting for years!" Theodosia complained. She had a lot more to complain about. How he had pick such a wrong time to confess. How she was not ready at all. How he had done it after a date with another guy and his sister. How he had done it so spontaneously and smoothly. Well she's not going to complain on the last one. All she hears was Phillip's laughter.

"Yeah? My bad. Thought you were mine. So much so that I forgot to actually confess."

"Really Phillip Hamilton? That's your excuse?"

"It took Angelica screaming into my room early in the morning and her fixing that I misuse the word 'jealousy' because you're not mine."

"She's right about that one."

"But now you are."

Theodosia smiled and pulled back a little. She saw him smiling back at her. Then there was this small urge. Phillip pulling them closer together till their lips touched. A simple sweet first kiss in the park at early summer. Theodosia couldn't think of anything better.

* * *

Theodosia and Phillip decided to keep their relationship a secret. From everyone. Even Angelica didn't know. They were thinking of just enjoying not getting teased for being together a bit more. Sure it has its downs like Phillip not being able to glare down anyone from looking at Theodosia indecently. But it does make the relationship fun, a bit. The thought of having their family know later, after they know each other enough, if not more.

One month later.

The Hamilton-Schuyler family, except Alexander Hamilton, went on a carriage to uptown yesterday. They went to start their summer with the big family. Theodosia was there to see them off and waved them goodbye. Though Phillip was hesitant to actually go because Theodosia was there, he slipped a letter for her, in secrecy. Theodosia grinned happily as she hid the letter. Feels like they were secret lovers or something. So they left. Theodosia walked back home, bouncing to her room in pure happiness as she laid in her bed and opened the letter.

 _Dear Theodosia,_

 _As you're reading this letter, I am on my way uptown with my siblings and Ma. Angelica asked me to tell you that she wants to letter to you as well. I will be holed up in the library or maybe look around to sight seeing. Ma also asked me to send you her regards. I told her about your suggestion to check on Pops for dinner and she said that if it doesn't make much trouble, she would appreciate it. Of course, you don't need to check every night. Ma hired a maid to take care the house. But the maid doesn't come on Mondays. So if you want to check on Pops, Monday would be the perfect day._

 _I will really miss you the full length of this summer. If I publish a book of cheesy love poets over the course of the summer, blame my sadness of being apart from you._

 _Love you always,_

 _Phillip Hamilton._

Theodosia received the letter at Tuesday. So she had 6 days before checking on Hamilton. She looked at the letter and re-read it. _I will really miss you the full length of this summer._ Theodosia giggled in excitement. Butterflies in her stomach. Then she set the letter down, took a new letter and started writing the reply letter. Before she did though, her eyes landed on the previous timeline paper.

 **1797 The Reynolds Pamphlet**

"Is it possible… that it occurred later?" Theodosia considered. Her heart started wavering and weakening. Insecurity filled her. She pushed it away for a few second as she wrote the reply letter, and put it in the mailbox. But as she was standing in front of her house, she looked at the road leading to Hamilton's house. The insecurity grew in her. So she took her scarf and coat, ventured in the dark night and walked to the Hamilton's house. Quick on her feet, she arrived in a few minutes. Faster than usual. Once there, she looked at the bright room, Hamilton's shadow on the window and no one seem to be in there with him. Theodosia sighed in relief. She looked around and found no one suspicious.

Theodosia thought it would be only one time. But each night, her insecurity grew. So each night, just to satisfy herself, she would walk to Hamilton's house. She would make sure there was no one suspicious, and run back to her house. It was tiring and it doesn't make any sense. But this timeline is different from before and she's not taking any funny chances.

At Monday, somehow, Theodosia was able to convince her father to eat dinner with Hamilton. She was smiling all the way and Burr couldn't help but smile along. She had dinner ready in her basket and Burr insisted on carrying it for her. On the way, Burr met a client he had helped a few months ago. He knew Theodosia won't be interested much, so he asked her to go before him. Theodosia agreed, said goodbye to her father's client and walked away. A few more paces and she would arrive to Hamilton's house. But a few feet in front of her was a woman she knew well. Beautiful hair locks and a desperate but lovely look on her face. The woman was wearing the same scarf Theodosia gave her 5 years ago. Theodosia took a deep breath. Breath in, breath out. Theodosia walked a few paces, "Mrs. Reynolds."


	9. Stay

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 8: Stay~**

"Mrs. Reynolds." Theodosia greeted. Maria was surprised. She turned around to find the girl that had helped her with her scarf five years ago was not all grown up and beautiful. She quickly put her hands around Theodosia's arms, admiring her.

"Oh my, Theodosia, you've grown so beautiful!"

"Awe, thank you Mrs. Reynolds." Theodosia said, a tint of blush on her face. She noticed the old scarf that she gave five years ago was still around Maria's neck and wondered if she had no other scarfs. Theodosia wanted to continue talking with Maria but she was too busy examining her. Maria had long sleeves on which is a bit odd considering how hot summer can get. Theodosia slightly want to interrogate Maria but she hid her intention when Burr came along.

"Theodosia? Who's that?"

"Oh Papa!" Theodosia moved one step back to let Burr meet Maria face to face. "This is Mrs. Maria Reynolds. Mrs. Reynolds, this is my father, Aaron Burr."

"Yes of course, pleased to meet you." Maria quickly said, curtsying then accepting the hand Burr offered for a handshake. Theodosia put her hands behind her back, not knowing what to do now.

"To you too." Burr answered. He looked around, then felt a wind breeze. "For a woman to be alone on a windy summer night… please, join us inside until the wind ceases. I'm sure Hamilton won't mind."

Maria seemed too eager for the invitation. Theodosia prepared to be caution. She doesn't know what Maria might do. From one look and previous conversations, Theodosia would dare say Maria is someone loveable, someone who won't hurt a fly. But anyone would do anything if threaten… Theodosia's mind lingered about James Reynolds. Theodosia lead the two adults to Hamilton's house and knocked on the door. Hamilton opened the door. He looked tired and hungry and sleepy. Theodosia expected this. Hamilton waved his hand and moved over to let everyone in, "Hello."

"Mr. Hamilton, please tell me you've taken a few breaks in between work."

"I took a break!" Hamilton defended himself before continuing in a small voice, "…two days ago."

Theodosia glared menacingly, didn't even hold back. She pushed Hamilton to sit down and took out some warm tea for him to enjoy. Burr and Maria sat down respectively, going by Theodosia's course of nature. Theodosia poured some tea for the others as well. Then she looked at Hamilton who was enjoying his share, "You didn't take a break again this year."

Hamilton laughed proudly, "Yes, I need to get this work done."

"…when was the last time you sleep?"

"Haven't slept for a week."

"Don't overwork yourself Mr. Hamilton."

"And this is?" Hamilton asked, trying to turn Theodosia's attention. It worked. Everyone was now staring at Maria Reynolds who shifted uncomfortably.

"Mrs. Maria Reynolds." Burr answered because there was no sign of Maria answering any sooner. "She'll be here to warm up and she'll go back after it stopped being windy outside. Mrs. Reynolds, this is Alexander Hamilton."

"Excuse my intrusion." Maria said, standing up to curtsy.

"Oh no. Please, make yourself at home." Hamilton said, letting her sit down. Then he suddenly remembered something. Some papers he left upstairs. Mentioning it would be windy, Hamilton went to his study room to make sure the window's not opened. He said as he excused himself, "I'll be joining you three in a bit."

Theodosia nodded and let her guard down. She started warming up the dinner she brought from the house. Theodosia didn't even realize as Maria excused herself to go to the toilet. A simple excuse to sneak in after Hamilton. Maria walked into the study room which was surprisingly unlocked. Saw Hamilton and started speaking, "I know you are a man of honor. I'm sorry to bother you at home. But I don't know where to go… and I came here all alone. My husband's doing me wrong; beating me, cheating me, mistreating me. Suddenly he's up and gone… and I… don't have the needs to go on."

Hamilton massaged his scalp, a bit too tired to think about any other situation. But to prove his sympathy he said, "…I'm sorry for that."

Theodosia, noticing Hamilton and Mrs. Reynolds was gone for long, took off from the kitchen in a panic. She found the door to the study room slightly opened and pushed it further. Theodosia was relieved when she found out no move had been made whatsoever. Hamilton was looking at her, clearly confused of why she's in a panic. Maria took a step back and Hamilton focused on Theodosia who suggested, "Mrs. Reynolds? It's not windy anymore. Shall we accompany you to your house before it becomes windy again?"

"Oh, of course."

Hamilton took out a few bucks of money and offered it to Maria, "Here's a loan, it's not much, but it's the only money I have with me right now."

"Thank you… you're too kind sir."

With that, Burr, Theodosia and Hamilton put on a coat. Started walking toward the direction Maria led them. Theodosia stood next to Hamilton the entire time. Burr accompanying Maria up front. After a few blocks down, Maria stopped and pointed to a house, "This one's mine sir."

Maria invited all of them inside. Though Theodosia wanted to get out of the situation as fast as she could, Burr and Hamilton couldn't refuse the offer. The four walked inside the house and Maria showed them around. Mentioning to them that they have a small library upstairs in which Hamilton's interest perked. Theodosia considered her options. One thing for sure, Maria's not allowed anywhere near Hamilton. He's way too restless and tired. Any kind of seduction would work on him. That's why through all the way, Theodosia kept a step close to Hamilton. If Theodosia just let her be, there's chances she'll come back on other days- nights. By the time Theodosia was wrecking her own brain for a solution, her eyes landed on her own father.

In her heart, she knew it's a bad idea. She's using her father to solve her problems without even asking for his consent. But he's the best chance Theodosia have. Worst case, her father would be seduced and they will have to bear a bad name… that's not something that would likely happen… _right?_ Theodosia took her chance. Whispering to herself that her father is the best plan she got. It wouldn't hurt that much to see her father with some other woman… nope, it does.

Theodosia watched as Maria started changing her plans. Started seducing Burr instead of Hamilton. She tried to turn a blind eye but it still pained her to think that she's actually using her father. She steeled herself. Her father loved her mother… it won't be that easy to top that.

In the moment Theodosia accompanied Hamilton to seek the library of the house, Burr and Maria was gone. Maria had pulled her tricks, pulled Burr into a room and pushed him down to the bed. She took fast movements as she trapped him under her. Straddling his hips and looking at him seductively, begging, "Stay."

Burr was… unaffected. He put his hands on her hips, moving her to the side. With all the military training, it was an easy thing to do. He didn't leave her though. Burr stood next to the bed, looking at the woman drooping on the bed. He said, "…forgive me but my heart fully belongs to my late wife. And if you ever think of showing this kind of behavior toward my friend, Hamilton, I would advise you not to."

In the library, Theodosia noticed her father was gone and went to a silent panic. She excused herself from Hamilton who was already busy with a book. Theodosia ran around the house. _Gotta save Papa. Gotta save Papa. Gotta-_ She called, "Papa?" _Can't find him._

Burr and Maria heard Theodosia's cry though. It struck guilt into Maria's stomach and relief to Burr. He offered his help toward Maria to be presentable again. Maria agreed and fixed the things she had done. Then Burr took another look before sighing, "Shall we stop? If you needed money that bad, I can always hire you to work in my house. Theodosia has never been so fond of a woman before, other than her own mother and Mrs. Hamilton of course."

"…you'll let me work?" Maria looked up to him with such hopeful eyes.

"Of course." Burr answered happily. Then sternly said, "But no more funny business like before."

"Thank y-… no… It's too sweet to be true. My husband-"

"I'll be your lawyer. _Pro Bono._ "

 _"Pro Bono?"_

"You don't need to pay me. I do it voluntarily." Burr answered. He took her cuffs and revealed one of the blue marks that her husband had left on her. Maria quickly took her hand back and hid it. She glared at him.

"How did you-"

"I saw my daughter meeting you before and coincidentally my client whom I was talking to knows your family. He also had some clues about how your husband treated you." Burr mentioned. He took a mental note so he can have his previous client to give testimony later on. Burr's head started over all the possibilities that could happen and how to counter them. A trait he shared with his daughter. Maria stared. It was the first time anyone actually offered help to her.

"…why?"

Burr looked at the helpless Maria. She looked like she was on the verge of crying from all the act. He simply fixed his coat as he said, "Mrs. Reynolds. Mrs. Hamilton is currently my daughter's only mother comfort. Mrs. Hamilton won't always be there because she needs to take care of her own children. That's why, in the place of my wife, I am asking you to be her motherly figure."

"Thank you very much."

* * *

That very day Burr left the house feeling giddy. Theodosia watched him, a bit confused. It was the first time she ever saw him so happy to represent a case. Well considering how he went with his own way to investigate the case and woke up till late at night, Theodosia could only pray and help with whatever she could. Burr kissed Theodosia's forehead before leaving, mentioning today is a good day. Theodosia waved him goodbye and shouted good luck. Burr practically pranced to work. Meeting Maria and reassuring her that everything's taken care of. She had to worry about nothing. Then it started. The case was… one sided to say.

"Your honor, by testimony, Mrs. Reynolds were mistreated, cheated on, abused on and used." Burr couldn't stop talking. He was controlling the court. Everyone knew he was winning. Maria was sitting on her seat, watching the man defending her. She's going to work for him after this and she can't wait to work for such a man. Maria was so focused on Burr's speaking, she snapped awake when Burr snapped fingers in front of her. Everyone was standing, applauding and Maria knew nothing about what just happened.

Burr smiled and offered his hand to shake, "We won, Maria."

On the way to her new home, oh boy, Maria's on the way to her new home. Her daughter is staying with her mother in safe hands. The best part is that she can actually earn money for them. The excitement builds up within her. Burr had helped her by holding one of her cases and along the way he kept talking about things she needs to do and a few tips here and there. Maria was partly paying attention but was still too excited to actually listen and take memos. Burr led them up to his house and took out the key. He stopped, "-Oh and, Theodosia loves going to buy bread on Saturday morning so you don't need to worry if she disappears at that time. Let's see, what else? Oh yeah, today we have dinner with the Hamilton's-"

"Mr. Burr, I can still learn as I go along." Maria reassured.

"Of course. You'll do well." Burr reassured her.

Maria took a deep breath. A few whirlwinds of questions in her head but there's one thing she needed to confirm. "So, it's really okay? For me to... stay?"

Burr didn't answer verbally. He smiled. He opened the door and walked in before her.

"Congratulations on your case Papa! I heard you defended well and succeeded!" Theodosia greeted happily. She was ready with a plate of cookies in her hand, Burr's favorite. He couldn't help but smile happily at his daughter. He patted her head and kissed her forehead before taking the plate of cookies all to himself.

"Thank you Angel. Oh, and here's a surprise for you." Burr scooted over. Behind him, Maria stood still. Maria didn't know how to act, don't know to start from hi or thank you. She was silent when Theodosia came and hugged her tight. _I was able to save her. Oh God, thank you._ Maria was still nervous, but she brushed the teenager's hair softly. Theodosia was too happy that she was able to finish one of her mission.

"I'll be working here from now on, you can call me Maria, sweet Theodosia." Maria said. Theodosia pulled back. Working here? She looked at Maria, who nodded, then she looked at her father who also nodded back. Theodosia smiled happily and hugged Maria once more.

"Maria, you're staying here?" Theodosia asked sweetly and Maria was silent. She was as confused as she was before but Theodosia pleaded, "Stay."

"Yeah, I'm staying."

"Well, you two get along quick." Burr commented as he ate his fourth cookie. Theodosia and Maria giggled as they separated from the hug. Theodosia crossed her arms.

"Well, you need to let Maria have some of my cookies too Papa."

Burr hugged the plate as he ate his seventh cookie. He ran to the kitchen to hide from the women. He shouted as he ran, "Nope! Not sharing! This is _my_ congratulations cookies!"

Maria took Theodosia and pulled her to face her. She looked at Theodosia from head to toe. "Now, I heard you'll be heading to the Hamilton house for dinner. You can't go with that messy hair, let's get you all dressed up!"

Theodosia chuckled happily as she pulled Maria to her room for a small makeover. Her eyes fell to the letter she kept in check of timelines. That's one job done.


	10. Chances

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 9: Chances~**

It was the first time Theodosia was so confident on going to Hamilton's house. Maria opted to stay at home and rest at her new room, the trial made her tired. Maria rested after helping Theodosia with her hair and said her farewell to Burr and Theodosia leaving the house. Burr watched at how happy Theodosia was. The door to Hamilton's house opened before Theodosia even reached to knock. Alexander Junior opening the door and quickly greeted, "Mr. Burr! Miss Theodosia! Welcome."

"Hello Alexander Junior, how are you?" Theodosia asked sweetly. Alexander Junior quickly moved to let Burr and Theodosia in. Answering a small reply of 'Good.' Soon as Burr and Theodosia took their coat off, Alexander Junior stopped Burr on his track.

"Mr. Burr I need your help." He pleaded. Burr raised an eyebrow and eyed at Theodosia, his first suspect of whatever Alexander Junior was doing.

Theodosia saw the look her father was giving her and gave in, "I kinda told him that I can't help much with law because I only learn from you and that it's your expertise anyway."

Alexander Junior had pleading puppy eyes on as he showed a few papers of a law case. Added by Theodosia looking at him as if saying 'Don't ruin a child's hope Papa. That's not nice.' Got Burr on edge. He sighed and took the papers from Alexander Junior's hand. "Okay, let's see your case."

"Theodosia!" Angelica popped in from the living room. Alexander Junior led Burr to the living room to consult about the case and Theodosia followed them to Angelica. She grabbed Theodosia's arm and said, "Come play a song with me, please."

Eliza, Angelica and Theodosia was busy preparing the dinner. Of course, while waiting, the boys in the dining room had gone to talk about laws and politics. Nothing unusual for the likes of Hamilton and Burr. Phillip stared. Sure, his brothers had a lot of interest in laws and politics. But he, himself, preferred poems over laws. He does get a few ideas in. Until Burr and Hamilton was debating over Hamilton's recent accomplishment. To pass his own plan to the government. It got tense. Burr stared at Hamilton, "I don't understand why you do this though. Honestly… or did you know, even then, it doesn't matter where you put the U.S. Capital?"

Hamilton grinned, happy that Burr was catching on, "Cause we'll have the banks. We're in the same spot."

"You got more than you gave."

"And I wanted what I got. If you got skin in the game, you stay in the game. But you don't get a win unless you play in the game. Oh, you get love for it. You get hate for it. You get nothing if you wait for it! God help and forgive me, I wanna build something that's gonna outlive me. What do you want, Burr?" Hamilton asked. Now everyone's eyes were on Burr. Eliza, Angelica and Theodosia who were holding dinner to put on the table froze on the doorway. Confused by the tensed atmosphere.

"I…" Burr mumbled, "Wanna be in the room where it happens."

"That's the spirit." Hamilton smirked. Took off from his own seat and raced to his study room. Ignoring Eliza's cries to just sit for dinner. Theodosia and Phillip stared at each other, wondering what exactly just happened. Phillip shrugged his shoulder, implying he don't know either. Hamilton got back to the dining room right at the moment Eliza, Angelic and Theodosia finished preparing. They prayed and started to eat. Speaking about various topic on the dining table. It was a big family dinner.

It was by luck that Burr sit right next to Phillip. After dinner and the girls were busy cleaning up while Hamilton played with the children, Phillip took Burr's attention. "Excuse me, Mr. Burr… may I have your time?"

"Of course." Burr answered, he turned to focus on Phillip. He took a deep breath and was about to speak. Till Alexander Junior popped up behind him, completely startling Phillip.

"Mr. Burr! Can we please continue the case? James here is in the opposition." Alexander Junior asked sweetly. Burr looked at Phillip, asking silently if it's okay. After all, he's also interested in the case they were discussing about. Phillip quickly said that it's okay. That they could talk another day.

That's one chance he missed. Phillip decided to join Angelica, Eliza and Theodosia to help out with the dishes.

* * *

It was around four or five days after the dinner. Maria was cleaning the living room while Theodosia accompanied by talking to Maria in French. To train herself and teach Maria a bit about French. Burr was lounging on his study room. Re reading his newest work. The front door opened harshly. Leaving a large thud. Jefferson and Madison stormed in. Theodosia and Maria stopped and stared. Then decided to follow the intruders. Jefferson walked straight to the study room, "Burr! since when are you a democratic-republican!?"

"Since being one put me on the up and up again." Burr answered calmly, putting down his papers and gesturing to the empty seats for the two gentlemen. While Madison eagerly agree to sit down, Jefferson paced in the study room.

"No one knows who you are or what you do."

"They don't need to know me." Burr answered then shared a grin that reminded Jefferson of Hamilton, "I got good recommendation."

"Whhhhhaaatttt?"

"Hamilton recommended me to the seat. We're throwing a small party later at Mr. Hamilton's house." Madison and Jefferson's jaw's dropped. Jefferson took a few steps back and slumped to his seat. He massaged his scalp, trying to figure out what's happening. Theodosia and Maria decided to leave, with a giggling fit. Debating if cookies and tea would help out their headaches.

There was knocking on the front door. Theodosia told Maria she would go get it instead. There was Phillip on the front door, looking at her. "Hi."

"Hi Phillip. What brought you here today?" Theodosia asked. She moved to let Phillip in but he refused, opted to stay out. Theodosia took the hint, closed the front door and walked to the porch, sitting on a bench with Phillip next to her.

"I was… thinking about opening up to everyone about our relationship." Phillip whispered in a quiet voice. He looked at Theodosia convincing. Theodosia smiled happily, tears threatening to go out. Phillip continued, "What do you think?"

"It's a great idea! That's great!" Theodosia answered happily. Phillip, being happy that she agreed, greedily pulled her into a sweet kiss. They were going to go a bit farther from a kiss if it wasn't for Jefferson and Madison breaking out of the front door with Burr following to check if the front door's broken or not.

"Oh come on! I mean, great that you're joining Burr but-" Jefferson's eyes landed on Theodosia and Phillip, separated from each other, blushing red. Burr and Madison watched and get the slightest idea of what might've happen. Decided to leave it alone. Phillip, not knowing what to do, quickly got up and excused himself. Theodosia following as she ran to her bedroom.

"What just happened?"

"You've just ruined the moment Jefferson." Madison answered.

"What? What moment?"

Burr and Madison glared at the oblivious Jefferson.

* * *

It was a really small party. Heck, instead of a party, 'gathering' would be a better term. There was Burr, Theodosia, Maria and the whole Hamilton family. And Washington, who decided to tag along. Small snacks and a few booze that Eliza made sure no underage kids get their hands onto. Phillip took a glass of juice and raised it to the air, "Toast! To finally getting grandfather to enjoy his golden age."

"And I am glad he left it to someone he can trust." Angelica continued. Theodosia crushed her hair before going to Phillip's side. Hamilton walked up to Burr who was enjoying his own drink.

"What's wrong Burr? You look down."

"Honestly, now we work together again." Burr stated, looking annoyed.

"Oh those good old days when Burr was my assistant counsel." Hamilton continued, putting the glass down and daydreamed.

"CO-COUNSEL. Hamilton sit down."

"That, kids." Washington called everyone as he pointed at Burr and Hamilton. "Pretty much explains ninety percent of the time Mr. Burr and Mr. Hamilton worked together."

"Yeah? What's the leftover ten percent, Mr. Washington?" Angelica chimed in. Leaning toward Alexander Junior and James to play with her. Washington was about to answer if it wasn't for Hamilton jumping in front of Washington.

"Beating their asses!"

"Alexander. Language." Eliza scolded. Washington and Burr laughed at how Hamilton got a quick hide behind Washington. Eliza laughed and took a glass of water for herself, walked to the middle of the room. "I also have another announcement."

"What?" Hamilton ask, coming out of his hideout, "What other announcement?"

Eliza smiled, "We're expecting another baby."

It happened so quick. From Hamilton jumping from his previous place to Eliza, scooping her up and showering her with kisses. Washington and Burr took the time after Hamilton was satisfied with the attention he showered her with to congratulate her. Then it was Angelica and Phillip's turn as they asked what gender it would be. The uproar of the coming of a baby got everyone giddy with excitement. At the time everyone was busy with Eliza and Hamilton, Phillip came up to Burr. "Mr. Burr… may we continue our conversation before?"

"Of course." Burr put his glass down. This time, surely, he gotta give his attention. Again, before Phillip was able to speak his mind, he was interrupted. This time by his own father.

"Yo Burr! Come here and let's prove to Angelica and Eliza we still can sing and play piano! They think they're better than us!"

"Uh…"

"You may not want to pass that opportunity sir." Phillip chimed in, noticing how Burr was interested in playing Hamilton's game. Burr nodded happily and excused himself, mouthing a small sorry. Well, there's one more chance gone. Theodosia saw it happened, went to hold Phillip's hand to console him.

* * *

It was Saturday and there was knocking on the front door of Burr's house. Theodosia was upstairs, in her room, doing her weekly timeline check. Burr knew his daughter's habits so he took initiative and opened the front door. Maria met him on the way to open the door but Burr told her to continue doing the dishes and that he'll open the door. Burr took a good few seconds of staring at Phillip, standing on his porch. He looked nervous which is unusual. Then Burr remembered the conversations that got cut before and thought maybe it was the reason Phillip was anxious.

"…Aaron Burr, sir, can we confer?"

"Phillip. Oh? I thought your father would come with?" Burr asked, looking around to find no other Hamilton on his porch. Phillip shook his head.

"No. What I am about to do is of my own intention." He answered. Burr moved and let Phillip in, closing the door behind him and headed to the living room. Maria took note of the guest and started preparing some tea. Whereas along the way Theodosia was in the mood to bake something and went straight to the kitchen, not even realizing Phillip was in her living room.

"What do you need?" Burr asked. He's relaxed in his seat while Phillip was still, a bit robotic.

"…before that. Mr. Burr, please know, I love your daughter so much. I would never do anything that goes against her will. I will protect her, love her and I miss her every time I can't see her."

"Of course." Burr knew exactly where the conversation was going and honestly he had been waiting for it. He chuckled and tried to calm the nervousness emitting from Phillip. "You have not only said those words, you've proven it with your actions of before."

"Yes!" he frantically answered. Then he took a deep breath. Phillip fixed his eyes to Burr's and full of confident asked him, "May I have your blessing of taking your daughter as my wife?"

"Fully." Aaron Burr smiled. The gap of silence between the question and the answer was zero. Burr had made up his mind and Phillip was actually ready with a long speech of why Theodosia should be his wife. Phillip stared and not long after, tears rolled down his eyes. Burr chuckled and gave a pat on his back, trying to stop his happy tears. Suddenly sound of heels walking in the room came up. Phillip and Burr turned their head to look at Theodosia with a tray of cookies and tea.

"Papa? Do you want some-" she stopped and put the tray down. Didn't take long as she went to Phillip's side and wiped away the tears from his eyes, "Phillip! What's wrong, Phillip?"

"Nothing. Nothing is wrong. Everything is beautiful. God, you're beautiful." Phillip answered and slightly ranted. He tried his best to hold his urge to kiss her in front of Burr. Though Burr could sense it and left the room silently, taking the tray of cookies and tea with him. Maria was about to walk into the room but Burr pulled her along to give some private time for the lovebirds. Theodosia found Phillip hugging her tight, no sign of letting go. She slowly brushed his locks, wondering what happened.

"Phillip?" Theodosia's gaze wondered on him. She can't figure out why her Phillip is suddenly unable to think of anything good to say while it's usually his best point. By then, Phillip was looking back at her as if she was treasure. And she felt loved. "What happened Phillip?"

"I asked for Burr's blessing for our relationship." He took another breath, "And he accepted."

Theodosia needed a moment to think the sentence through. Seconds later tears were spilling down her eyes and she was hugging him back. Laughter combining with happy sobs as Phillip spun her around the room. Sharing a kiss next to the fireplace as they stared at each other. As they separated from the kiss, Theodosia was giddy and jumpy in Phillip's embrace. Phillip laughed happily along, "You're so excited, we still have to wait until you turn twenty."

"That's such a long time but you'll be worth it." Theodosia whined and gave another peck on Phillip's cheek. Then she took one weird look at Phillip, "Twenty? What do you mean twenty?"

Phillip let go of her. Easily slid down to one knee. Opened a small box that revealed a beautiful ring. One look and Theodosia can tell it wasn't an official marriage ring yet. Just an engagement ring. The whole situation clicked into her and the tears of happiness just won't stop falling. Phillip watched happily. "I'll be waiting in agony for you to be called Mrs. Hamilton."

"Mrs. Theodosia Burr Hamilton."

"I love the way that sound."

And Phillip stole another sweet kiss.


	11. Different

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 10: Different~**

Phillip and Theodosia opened up about their relationship. Angelica pretty much punched Phillip because he didn't tell her first. Eliza and Maria was very much happy about the news, celebrated it with their own way, by making matching scarfs for Theodosia and Phillip. Hamilton and Phillip's brothers was overjoyed with having Theodosia as a sister. Burr was taking it easier than he thought he would which is something Hamilton still found weird. Everything went great.

Nothing lasts long though. The news was a nice break but was soon washed away with the news of Peggy falling sick. Theodosia found when she headed to Hamilton's house at morning to work with Angelica's piano. She found Hamilton talking with a man around his own age. He doesn't look familiar at all in Theodosia's head. Hamilton saw her and called her. She greeted them and they greeted back. Hamilton gestured at the man next to him. "Theodosia, this is Mr. John Laurens, Peggy's husband."

"Nice to meet you Miss Theodosia, Phillip talked fondly of you in the letters." Laurens complimented. Look at her fondly and continued, "Well, his descriptions of you spoke the truth."

"Thank you Mr. Laurens, it's nice to meet you too." Theodosia smiled back. A tint of happiness in her gut, knowing that Phillip talked about her with his family. Theodosia took a good look at Laurens. The man who died before he ever met her in her own timeline. This timeline, he's Aunt Peggy's husband. As soon as she answered, the men continued talking with sadness in their voice. When they stopped, Theodosia cut in, "Mr. Hamilton. Mr. Laurens… is something wrong?"

"Um…" Laurens looked at Hamilton for help.

"Peggy is feeling unwell. She's ill and it worsened this last few days." Hamilton quickly answered. He knew he could trust Theodosia. She was struck silent but Hamilton knew she was listening close, "I will be going to Albany for a legal business and I'll be stay in Laurens' house but we're discussing to whether or not the others should come as well."

"Peggy doesn't want them to come. She said she'll be fine." Laurens complained.

"But we're not entirely sure." Hamilton cuts in. Theodosia was silent between the two men. She didn't want to voice any opinion, more like, she doesn't have any opinion. She doesn't know what's happening. This was all new for her in the timeline. It's something she doesn't dare to play with. Hamilton pressed in, "I'll be going. I'll miss the Winter's Ball this year I guess."

"Okay…" Theodosia answered quietly. Laurens and Hamilton went to continue their arrangement for Hamilton's stay. Theodosia's thoughts were on something else entirely. She thought, 'Something's weird… if I remembered right, Aunt Peggy's death is at 1801… it's years too early for that.'

She raced her mind to think. What could be happening. Why should this be happening. Maria showed no sign of trying to seduce Hamilton and there's no sign of Hamilton trying to overwork himself anymore. The next thing she should watch out for was Phillip's duel. So why is someone else dying faster than she should be.

Theodosia's eyes landed on Laurens. _What if he had been living by eating Peggy's original life time?_

Theodosia shook the thoughts away. Laurens and Hamilton excused themselves to start working on the arrangements and packing up. Theodosia let them and continued to think about how this is affecting the timeline.

Nothing changed much. It's been months. Aunt Peggy's condition is still bad, it didn't worsen, just bad. Hamilton had been staying at Laurens' house and every day Eliza and Hamilton letter to each other. It didn't help that Eliza was still pregnant with a baby and stress is not good for her. Thank goodness The Winter's Ball came around. It lifted Eliza's spirit. She didn't walk around much, but meeting people she knew, especially Martha, was good enough to make her day.

Theodosia was swarmed by the men. Some thought she wasn't engaged yet and was making move on her but she quickly passed on them. Some congratulated her and hoped her well. Theodosia spent most of the evening watching over Alexander Junior, James, John and William. She finally got some time to herself when Maria offered to look over the kids and said that she needed some time for herself too.

Angelica crossed the ballroom to stand by her sister-in-law's side. Even though it's been months since they announced it, she was still a bit new to the fact that Theodosia is going to be her sister. Not that she hated it, she was just a bit surprised. Angelica wondered what Theodosia had been staring at for the last couple of minutes, so she directed her eyes toward where Theodosia was looking. Phillip was surrounded by three girls. All three looking like they were trying to charm him, maybe even seduce him. Angelica frowned. That's not really a scene she liked to see. But it's not really a scene she can ignore either. Trying to avert her attention, Angelica called on a conversation, "Hey, Theodosia?"

"Yes, Angelica?" but Theodosia eyes' kept looking at Phillip surrounded by the girls.

"Are you _not_ jealous of the girls getting his attention?"

"Hm?" Finally, Theodosia looked at her with confusion. She wondered why Angelica would ask such a question, but nevertheless she smiled and answered honestly, "I am very jealous."

"Huh… the way you said it makes it sounds like you're not jealous at all."

"Well, I don't want him to think that he can't talk to other girls and even so, at the end of the day he's mine." She looked at the engagement ring on her finger. Theodosia's smile was one of the smile Angelica was proud of. She was sure now that she doesn't want anyone else to be his brother's bride but her. Theodosia wasn't too much, or too less… she was just right. But Phillip… is another case. Angelica, after all, knew her brother as long as she was alive. She's close to her and she know how innocent he can become sometimes.

That's why, in all hesitation, she asked, "What if… he decided to cheat on you?"

Theodosia's smile falter in a second as she looked at the ground, "…then… I'm not enough?"

"I didn't mean it like that!" Angelica panicked, "Uh… I mean-"

"I get it, Angelica, I was teasing you." Theodosia giggled and caressed Angelica's back. She tried to reassure her everything was fine with her. Then she answered, "Well, I don't know. One thing for sure though, is that I'll be very heartbroken."

"Of course…"

It was back to silence. The only noises were the music playing in the ballroom. No talking between the girls. It wasn't an awkward silent, it was a comforting one. Theodosia was the one who broke the silence, "Hey, Angelica?"

"Yes, Theodosia?"

Theodosia bent slightly to get close to Angelica's ear, "I'm glad he's mine."

Angelica smiled and enjoyed the rest of the evening with Theodosia.


	12. Demise

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 11: Demise~**

It was March 15, 1799.

Burr was sitting in the dining room, reading a few papers from his job. Theodosia and Maria was cooking simple breakfast in the kitchen. Someone knocked on the front door. Maria went to open it but was dismissed by Burr. He didn't want to stop them from cooking, he'll open the door. To his surprise, he found Angelica at the door, eyes red and puffy. It was something that caught Burr off guard. For as long as he knew the Hamilton family, Angelica is the one who never showed any flaw. Wanted to be perfect in everyone's eyes. But this time, she wasn't fully prepared to meet anyone in such matter. She pushed through. Burr raised an eyebrow and was about to ask what was wrong but Angelica cut him off, "Theodosia. Please let me see Theodosia!"

"She's in the kitchen." Burr responded and gave way for the teen girl to run in. She did. Ran to the kitchen and scanned the whole room. Maria and Theodosia stopped when they saw Angelica on the door. Angelica ran straight to Theodosia's embrace. Theodosia was confused, but nevertheless gave the pan she was holding to Maria and brushed Angelica's hair. Burr walked in a few seconds later.

"What's wrong Angelica?"

"Aunt Peggy… and Uncle John…"

Theodosia went frozen on her spot. She knew what it meant. She knew it was coming all along. That doesn't mean she was prepared for it. Angelica cried on Theodosia's shoulder as she told about the letter Eliza received from Hamilton early in the morning. That her sister had died peacefully in bed, with him and Laurens by her side. Laurens was in so much shocked… he had a heart attack and soon followed her to Heaven.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Theodosia muttered to Angelica's ear. But she knew that she said that to redeemed her own soul. She lost another person… two other significant people. Angelica pushed her slightly to look at her. She shook her head.

"No. Not me. But Phillip." Angelica sobbed, "Phillip…"

Maria pulled Angelica to her embrace to calm her down. Theodosia, don't know what gotten into her, ran to the Hamilton house. Left whatever they were cooking and didn't even say goodbye to Burr. Theodosia didn't pay attention. She didn't even paid attention to the one opening the front door for her. She ran straight to Phillip's room.

Three knocks. "Come in…"

It was not the cheery shy voice of Phillip. It was sad and dread. Phillip was really close with his uncle and aunt out of all the siblings, so he took it hard. Theodosia opened the door and walked in. He was on his desk. Theodosia closed the door behind her. She didn't move from her spot as she gently called his name.

He didn't reply. Phillip stood from his seat and looked at his fiancée. His eyes red and he looked pale. Theodosia took a deep breath in and walked toward him. They shared a hug. A thoughtful one. Trying to fill in the emptiness that was left in him. No words exchanged between them as Theodosia slowly but surely led them toward the bed. She let him lay first, before snuggling next to him. It won't be enough for forever, but it's enough for now. Phillip calmed down as he felt Theodosia's warmth surged his body. He let the tears fall silently and soon fell asleep hugging his Theodosia.

It took months for the Hamilton to return to their normal routines. Burr was there for Hamilton just as Hamilton was there when Theodosia's mother died. Theodosia didn't leave Phillip's side. She was there when Phillip suddenly remembered some good memories and cried. She was there when Phillip needed someone to hold.

But the change it took on Hamilton was significant.

He poured himself with work. It was like the last defense for him. He was always fond of Laurens and Peggy. Was always the place they confide in. So, losing both at the same time, threw more stress in. Theodosia watched as Burr acted up. He would help with Hamilton's work to make sure Hamilton get some rest. For Eliza's case. She lightens up after Maria helped around the Hamilton's house. Maria and Eliza grew to be great friends. Sharing the personality that loves kids.

Still. Hamilton was still working day and night.

Theodosia's addled by how this affect the timeline. But she gotta get ready for any new changes. One of the new changes she noticed was that Burr, Maria and herself spend most of their free time at the Hamilton house. Maybe it became a habit. After all, Burr spent most of his time working and helping Hamilton and Theodosia loved playing with Phillip's siblings.

It was afternoon, at Hamilton's backyard. Phillip and Theodosia laid on the grass and watched the clouds. Maria and Eliza watching from their seats, talking about the baby Eliza have in her belly. Burr and Hamilton playing around with Angelica, Alexander Junior, James, John and William. It was lucky they had military training, they needed the stamina to keep up with the kids. Phillip slipped his hand to hold Theodosia's. After he felt her hold his hand back, Phillip sighed.

"Let me guess…" Theodosia said, "Mr. Hamilton's not going again this year?"

"Yep." Phillip answered in annoyance, "Honestly, he has so many plans. Because Mr. Jefferson this! Mr. Madison that! He has zero chill whatsoever."

Theodosia turned to look at Phillip. Admire how handsome he was and how the sunset made him glow in her eyes. She laughed at how annoyed he look. Then she offered, "I can check on Mr. Hamilton and make sure he has some rest like last year. Well actually… maybe I'll stay in your house."

"What do you mean?" Phillip asked, turning so that he's face to face with Theodosia.

"Papa is going out because of work for the summer vacation and Maria will be with her daughter the whole summer so I'm pretty much alone. Maybe I can take care of the Hamilton household for you guys."

"Wait!" Phillip shouted and stood up. Earning confused look from Eliza and Maria. "If so, then maybe I can stay!"

"That would be fun." Theodosia pulled him back to lay with her on the grass. Just a bit more of admiring how beautiful the world is before going back to investigate the timeline. Just a bit more. She looked around, then thought of the plan thoroughly, "I'll come in Saturday afternoon and put my stuff down then?"

"Oh no… I have a poetry reading at Saturday afternoon till night. I'll be home for dinner though. Um… okay, I'll ask Pops to open the door for you. Just make yourself at home and I'll be home as soon as I can." Phillip answered.

"Sure thing."

"Are you two lovebirds gonna lay there forever or are you finally going to join us for a game of hide and seek?" Angelica teased. Her eyes landed on the hands-holding and she threw a playful smirk on Phillip. He noticed and blushed. Theodosia stood up and pulled Phillip along. Must admit blushing Phillip is cute. But duty as an older sister calls. The two lovebirds joined the game.

* * *

Of course it would be hard to convince Burr. What was Theodosia thinking? She sat on the other side of the couch, throwing puppy eyes at her father. Burr tried his best to focus on the papers he's working on. Theodosia pleaded, "Please Papa? It'll be way too lonely for me to be alone here and you know how forgetful Mr. Hamilton get when he's too focused."

Burr considered Theodosia's effort. She had been making cookies and tea. She had been good since morning. Helped Maria served the snacks and even entertained Jefferson and Madison when they visited. She also had that look that she shared with her mother. That one look that Burr knew means _I will not back down until you do what I want_. Burr grumbled under his breath, knew he will regret this some time later, "Fine. But I will be home early and come visit you at Hamilton's house, okay?"

Theodosia hugged her father tight and whispered thank you to her father. Really, there's nothing Burr won't do for her. Theodosia walked away to inform Phillip about the news and Burr started to pack his stuff. The next early morning, Burr and Theodosia said their goodbyes to Maria. The father-daughter finished their breakfast together. Of course with Burr pestering Theodosia about behaving and all. Theodosia didn't find it annoying, just giggled and said 'Okay Papa.' In response. After breakfast, Burr and Theodosia walked to the porch. Theodosia put her basket on the table. Burr put his suitcase in the carriage.

"Be safe. Letter to me everyday. Tell Hamilton to take care of you."

Theodosia nodded and stepped in to hug her overprotective father, "I know Papa. I love you. Be careful on your way."

"Theodosia, my angel, my pride and joy. I love you too." Burr said, tightening the hug. When they had enough, they parted and Burr kissed his daughter's forehead. Took one good look. "But seriously, if Phillip did anything to you I'll-"

"Papa!"

"Okay! Okay!" Burr laughed and walked away after making sure he made a mess of his daughter's hair. "I'll be back soon."

Theodosia waved his father goodbye. Burr looked out the window and only put his head back in the carriage after he was no longer able to see the house. Theodosia watched the carriage took her father away and then look around. It's still early, she's going to the Hamilton's house around 4 PM. Theodosia took her basket from the table and gripped her basket. She headed to the bakery. Her usual Saturday morning routine. Theodosia found herself laughing quietly as she remembered what happened in the bakery with Alston, Phillip and Angelica.

When she got back, Theodosia put the basket away. Started packing her suitcase with clothes she need for the stay at Hamilton's house. She groaned tiredly when she was finished. Sat down on her chair and pulled out the timeline papers.

 **March 15, 1799 Mr. John Laurens and Mrs. Margarita Schuyler Laurens passed away.**

And then lot after that was the countless new projects and plan Hamilton drowned himself with. A few of it was the party invitation Hamilton rejected, leaving Eliza and the kids to attend. There were a few good memories like times when Washington and his wife came for dinner and just play around or Angelica's piano show which was packed from front to back. It caused Hamilton and Phillip to held their head high proudly. Or the times when James and Alexander Junior helped a few senior lawyers with cases, looking at it from a different point of view. Or even dates with Phillip. At the park or a lake or even just small walks.

Theodosia rested her head on the desk. Ups and downs, there will always be something that contradicts. A bird flew to Theodosia's window and the wind was nice for the day. Theodosia decided to take a nap before she goes.

* * *

Knocking. Loud knocking. Unstoppable knocking. The knocking has been going for on for about two or three minutes now. Hamilton stood up and put the quill down. Stepped out of his study room and walked to the knocking sound. It was then that Hamilton realized the house was empty. He sighed as he opened the door.

"Excuse me Mr. Hamilton." Theodosia was standing in front of the door, slightly glaring. She was holding a suitcase and a few small bags. She looked impatient. Hamilton muffled a yawn.

"Dear God, Theodosia, aren't you a bit too early? It's dawn!"

"…Mr. Hamilton, it's six PM. I was here since the afternoon but you didn't answer the door. So I took a few more sightseeing around before checking again." Theodosia uttered.

"Oh. _Oh…_ sorry… I must've been too focused on, you know, work." Hamilton reasoned, moved to let Theodosia in the house. He closed the front door and was about to suggest he show her to the room she's staying in but instead his stomach grumbled, loudly. Theodosia laughed.

"If I may Mr. Hamilton, I brought dinner for you and Phillip."

"You are an angel!" Hamilton's mouth started to water at the thought of food.

"Well, since Mrs. Hamilton is out as well, I can help take care of the house a bit." Theodosia said and started to head to the kitchen. It's like her second house, she knew everything even if she has her eyes closed.

"No. Burr will kill me if he knew I let you do that." Hamilton settled himself on a chair in the kitchen as he watched his daughter-in-law put on an apron and started taking out ingredients.

"Okay, then just food. Mrs. Hamilton was a bit worried that you always forget to rest or eat."

"Won't that bother you? Don't you have something to do for your own?"

"Well." Theodosia took the knife and started chopping vegetables, something she remembered Eliza told is a must for Hamilton. She continued, but focused on cooking, "My job is mainly learning by myself and taking care of Papa. I can still learn by myself here and Papa is gone, so I have nothing much going on."

"If you insist then, do whatever you want." Hamilton waited patiently as the food started cooking. Theodosia's silent while cooking, focused completely on her hands. Hamilton was staring at first, missing Eliza, but then quickly later started sleeping. He hasn't sleep for days after all. The second Theodosia's finished with dinner, she didn't wake Hamilton up. Instead, went to prepare the table and the dinner. For three people. In the middle of preparing the table, the front door opened.

"I'm home…" Phillip walked in, tired and sore from the event. Theodosia found herself smiling as she took the apron off and walked to the front to greet her man.

"Welcome home! You're just in time, I made dinner." Theodosia leaned in for a kiss and Phillip couldn't help but linger. Catching her by the waist and pulling her to a warm hug. Breathed in her scent and Phillip rested his head on her shoulder. Theodosia hugged him back, trying to charge him up with energy.

Phillip silently whispered to her ear, "…I can't wait for us to get married."

"Oh shush you."

Hamilton walked in on his son and his girlfriend hugging in his living room, "Lovebirds. Dinner first, cuddles later."

* * *

 **Writer's Note:**

Good news? I don't know. But I have a lot of free time nowadays. So I'll **_try_** to update the story once every two or three days. I don't know, it varies. Maybe if I'm really in the mood, two chapters in one day. I'm sorry that I had to kill off the Jeggy ship. I'll make it up in the 'Control' fanfiction. To remedy you, and myself, from all this deaths, I promise the next chapter is full of fluff. Fluffy Phildosia. Because, why not?


	13. Fluff

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 12: Fluff~**

The next day, Sunday, everyone went to the church. Sang their praises, prayed and went home for lunch together. Hamilton decided he wanted to do some more work and locked himself in his study room. Leaving Phillip alone with Theodosia. The couple spent most of their time in the house, in the recreation-sort-of-room. In this room, there's a lot of books and a piano in the middle of it. It's the room they used to just lounge around.

"I'm taking this sofa back home with me." Theodosia said as she laid on the sofa near the piano. Phillip continued his piano-playing but throw a perky smirk at his girl. Theodosia put the book she's reading between her and Phillip, "What!? This sofa is soft and- Well…"

Phillip dare say he almost stopped playing because he couldn't handle how cute Theodosia looked, "And what?"

"And it kinda have your scent on it. It soothes me." Theodosia blurted out, quickly hid her face with the giant Latin book in her hand. This time Phillip actually stopped playing the piano, making Hamilton, upstairs, wondered why his son suddenly stopped playing. Phillip left the piano and went to lay next to Theodosia on the giant sofa.

"Why take the sofa when you can take me instead?"

Theodosia wanted to push him off the sofa but he was hugging her so tight, she would fall with him if she did. If you can't beat them, join them. Theodosia set the book aside and enjoyed cuddling the day away with Phillip.

Tuesday morning, heck instead of morning, it's dawn. Around two in the morning. Phillip had a nightmare. He shouted awake, sweating, dizzy and he felt small in this world. He sat up on the bed to try and remember he's still in his own room. He remembered small bits of his dreams. Bits of Peggy and Laurens talking about his parents, teaching him better social skills and having fun with him and then they left. Left him alone in the world without saying goodbye. Phillip found it hard to breathe.

"Phillip!" Theodosia ran into his room, holding a candle holder, the candle illuminating the room dimly. She looked half-asleep and worried. Her blanket around her shoulders since it was so cold. Phillip found himself breathing. Theodosia walked towards him, put the candle holder on the table. She took a small towel and swiped off his sweat. Put the towel away and Theodosia cupped his cheeks, "Another nightmare?"

"Yeah…" Phillip muttered defeated. Theodosia didn't say a single word. She tucked Phillip back to bed, blew the candle out and laid, next to Phillip, on top of Phillip's blanket. Her arm around his waist and hugging him close as she pulled her own blanket to cover herself. Phillip settled in, put an arm around her and kissed her forehead, whispered to her ear, "Thank you."

Theodosia giggled, "You're welcome." It took a while. A few minutes of Phillip playing with Theodosia's hair and Theodosia reminding him she's there for him. After those few minutes, they both drifted to sleep.

Hamilton was stressed out when he find out breakfast's not ready. He went to find Theodosia and she wasn't in her room. The first thing that passed through Hamilton's mind was _Burr's going to kill me._ Hamilton considered shouting to find her, but didn't want to risk waking Phillip up just because he's hungry for some breakfast. He looked everywhere and still couldn't find her. Well, everywhere but one place.

Hamilton sighed. Slowly pushed the door to Phillip's room open. He saw Phillip and Theodosia, snuggled up in different blankets. They looked asleep peacefully. He doesn't have the heart to ruin such a perfect picture. The first thing that passed through Hamilton's mind was _Let's hope Burr doesn't find out about this._

Wednesday night, a letter arrived from Hamilton that told Theodosia and Phillip, Hamilton's not going back home for the night. He's staying over night at Jefferson's house with Madison and Washington to talk about a new plan. So it was fun all the way. Phillip had helped with Theodosia for cooking dinner… if you consider eating the food before dinner helping. Theodosia gave up at the last second and decided to join in with Phillip, eating dinner in the kitchen and just talking about random things.

"So yeah, Angelica told me in her letter that she wanted me to try and find this new music piece." Phillip continued, dipping the meat to some sauce and eating it. Theodosia poured two glass of water for both of them.

"Sure. I'll help out tomorrow. Just that new music piece, right?"

"What will I ever do without you?" Phillip teased helplessly, shoving another piece of meat in his mouth. Theodosia giggled and continued eating. The talking turned flirty, teasing here and there. Theodosia moved to start cleaning the dishes where Phillip's not much help. He was clinging on her from behind like a koala. He showered her with kisses, from hair to forehead to neck. Sweet fluttery light kisses. Theodosia, finished with dishes, turned around to face Phillip. She was expecting a kiss on her lips. But it never came.

"What's wrong?" Theodosia asked, circling her hand on Phillip's neck.

"Well, there's a problem." Phillip answered. His fingers brushed against her lips and he let their forehead touched, "If I kiss this lips, I don't think I'll be able to stop."

Theodosia grinned, "Then don't stop."

The two couple woke up with swollen lips the next day. They regret nothing.

Hamilton came home Thursday afternoon, clearly tired and sore. It was a good thing that Phillip and Theodosia picked up the ingredients for Hamilton's favorite meal while they were trying to find Angelica's music piece. They cooked the meal and Hamilton was eating it in not time flat. Asking for second serving fast.

What really lighten Hamilton's mood was when Phillip declared Eliza sent a letter this morning. Hamilton finished his food, grabbed the letter and excused himself soon after. Theodosia nudged Phillip's shoulder, "Has Mr. Hamilton always been this happy about Mrs. Hamilton's letters?"

"Well, they met when Pops' still serving the war. Letters are their best communication for each other." Phillip answered in which Theodosia hummed knowingly. Phillip lead both of them to the recreation room and pushed Theodosia to sit down next to him on the piano. His hands started playing a sweet melody and Theodosia stared at how beautiful his fingers worked on the keys of the piano. Also, Theodosia knew the song. It's the song that Eliza played and sing to. She heard it a lot when she came by to play in the house. Phillip looked at Theodosia, expecting him to sing the song.

So she did. Spent till bed time singing songs while Phillip played the piano.

Friday at daytime was uneventful. Phillip had to go out for some poetry events and Hamilton went to work. Phillip asked if Theodosia wanted to come along but she refused, didn't want to bother him. Though he rejected her saying she's a bother to him, he didn't push her further. He promised he'll be home as soon as he can. That's how Theodosia ended up alone in Hamilton's house. She was restless. She took the time to review the timeline, wash some clothes, ate lunch alone, continued reading some book and before preparing dinner, wrote a letter to Maria.

Theodosia was confused about dinner. Hamilton and Phillip didn't tell her if they're eating dinner at home or out. There was knocking on the front door. Theodosia jumped from her seat and ran to the front door, hoping it was Phillip. She opened the door and sure enough it was Phillip, holding a suitcase. _Phillip's holding a suitcase?_

"Hey Theodosia, how was your day?" He asked, walked in after kissing her cheek. Theodosia didn't answer. Her eyes landed on the carriage in front of the house. Her father walking out of it. Theodosia ran to Burr and hugged him tight.

"Hey there, how's my angel?"

"Good. You, Papa?"

"I'm great." Burr answered, hugging his daughter back. "Hamilton's letting me stay for a few days. We have something to work on together."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Come on, let's get inside. I want to hear what you and Phillip's been up to when I'm gone."

Theodosia gulped, gotta think of something before Phillip gets killed. Hamilton came home a few minutes later. He came home to Theodosia cooking dinner with Phillip helping while Burr set up the table. Hamilton greeted Burr and put his work away, helping Burr set up the table as well. Thank God Burr and Hamilton's close friend, or that would've been one awkward dinner.

Saturday was slightly different. Hamilton and Burr went to work together. Phillip and Theodosia waved them goodbye and watched as they pretty much wake up the whole neighborhood with screaming of arguing. Phillip and Theodosia sighed and walked back inside. Theodosia was getting ready for her normal routine. Bakery in the morning. She was surprised to find Phillip waiting downstairs with her basket. He stood up and offered his arm to loop around, "Morning walk to the bakery, right?"

Theodosia nodded and walked to the bakery. Watching the sun rose higher to the sky as they walked past the park. Theodosia and Phillip talked about Angelica and that Angelica told Phillip in her new letter that the apples are good this year. Theodosia noted that the apples next door to the bakery is really good. Phillip pulled the door to the bakery open for Theodosia.

"Well, how about apple pie?" Theodosia asked, picking up some ingredients for the pie. Phillip's mouth water at the thought. Eagerly nodded in agreement. Looked like a puppy waiting for his treat.

"Yes please."

"How many do you think we should make? Papa loves my apple pie, it's Mama's recipe."

Phillip melted at the thought of apple pies in the room, his stomach grumbling. Theodosia giggled and picked up the ingredients for pancakes and apple pies. Theodosia turned to look at Phillip, "Okay well, why don't you buy however many apples you can get next door?"

Phillip quickly ran next door, trying to get his hands on as many apples he can get. It was heavy, sure, but if you have brothers that loves climbing on top of you, the weight of the apples are nothing. Theodosia met up with him in front of the bakery, was surprised at how many apples Phillip held. He asked her with excitement, "How many will we make with this?"

"Uh…" Theodosia tried to think, "Probably three or four apple pies. We can have the rest for just snacks."

"Nice." They got home at the fastest time they've ever walked together. Phillip waited for Theodosia to finish making pancakes for breakfast. Ate together. They spent some time cleaning the house, teasing each other, flirting each other along the way. After lunch, Theodosia seated Phillip down in the kitchen. Gave him a small cutting knife and an apple.

"Have you ever peeled an apple?" Theodosia asked, grabbing her own knife and an apple. Phillip shook his head: _nope, never._ Theodosia grinned, "Well you're going to peel all this apple until you can do it while blindfolded."

Theodosia taught Phillip how to peel it. Slowly, surely, carefully and with love. Phillip was bad at it. Pretty much peeled the apple instead of the apple skin for the first five to seven apples. But after that, he got the hang of it. Theodosia, finding out he's fine now, started working on the crust. Phillip hummed his way through peeling apple. Finding it oddly fun to do. He would steal glances on how Theodosia was measuring the other ingredients and find himself loving the scenery.

"Phillip, I think that's enough apples." Theodosia said. There were only five apples left untouched. Phillip nodded and waited for his next orders. Theodosia told him to still hold the knife, put a cutting board on the table. She cut the apple expertly in front of him. Phillip stared, wondering if his girl is holding a knife or a magic wand. Theodosia put her knife aside and looked at Phillip "So can you do it?"

Phillip nodded. Cutting the apples slowly at first but grew faster with each new apples. Theodosia was finished with the bottom crust. Her hands moving swiftly to cut the top crust and make patterns of it. Phillip just think of the end result. How yummy it's going to be. After a good fifteen minutes, the apples and the ingredients are mixed and they closed the apple pie with the top crust. Theodosia making some final touches on it before putting it in the oven.

"How long?"

"About twenty to thirty minutes in the oven and we're gonna let it cool down for one or two hours."

Phillip groaned at how long they have to wait. Theodosia giggled and put the four apple pies in the oven. She took a mental note of when to take it out and lead her whining boyfriend to the recreation room. Let Phillip recite some poems while Theodosia review it. Occasionally, Phillip would remember the apple pies and whine again, "How much longer?"

Theodosia would look at the clock, "It won't be long now."

They continued doing the poems until Theodosia suddenly stood up and ran for the oven. Phillip ran behind her, jumpy. Theodosia pulled the apple pie and Phillip couldn't hold back the hunger when he smells how good it was. Theodosia had to swat Phillip's hand away, "We gotta cool it down."

Three people walked in the front door. It was Washington, Hamilton and Burr. They noticed the great delicious smell and found themselves drooling for it. Burr was the one who recognized it. "It's Theodosia's apple pie. It's Theodosia's _apple pie!"_

Burr and Hamilton ran for the kitchen, since they both knew how delicious Theodosia's pastry are. Washington followed from behind, he doesn't know what they know. Theodosia had to swat Burr and Hamilton's hands away too. She didn't even hesitate to glare at the two. "One more hour before you can taste. Wait for it. Oh, hello Mr. President."

Burr and Hamilton had similar puppy eyes as Phillip had, Theodosia easily avoided its effect and focused entirely on Washington. He smiled back, "Hello Miss Theodosia, how are you?"

"Great! Perfect timing too. I remember Mama told me Mrs. Washington loves her apple pie. This is Mama's recipe, would you bring one home to her?" Theodosia asked and watched as Washington walked to behind Hamilton and Burr.

"Gladly. Well I'll bring this two out of here for now, we need to discuss something." Washington answered and took hold of the two's shoulder. They stood immediately. Whining that they wanted to wait for the pie but still followed their president out of the room. Phillip stood up from his seat. He can't have some apple pie now, better to avert his attention.

"Well, wanna try Angelica's music piece?"

"Isn't that for Angelica?"

"What's wrong with trying it out?"

"Fine." And Theodosia was brought to the recreation room and watched as Phillip learned the new song. Playing along at the easy parts. They pretty much forgot about the apple pie. The one reminding them was Hamilton and Burr running down from the study room.

"Apple pie!" They scream in union. Washington behind them with a funny dad smile. Theodosia sighed and lead all of them to the dining room. They sat down and waited patiently. Theodosia brought out three apple pies, plates and forks. While one apple pie was tucked nicely for take away. Took simple cutting and shared it to all of them. Taking one piece for herself along the way.

"Oh my God this is delicious. Theodosia, how come you've never told me you're good at making apple pies?" Hamilton asked, munching down his apple pie.

"The best." Burr complimented and ate the rest with silence.

Phillip was too busy taking a second serving to even talk.

Washington was silent, wondering how his wife never mentioned how yummy her best friend's pies are to him. Theodosia laughed and sat down with them eating her own apple pie. They didn't eat dinner that night.

* * *

Then it was Sunday. Very early in the morning. It was the usual morning routine. Hamilton and Phillip was getting ready for church, at least they should be, but Phillip was still sleepy and Hamilton was writing papers. Theodosia woke up and decided to fetch the letters and morning papers before making breakfast. She looked at the newspaper, found nothing interesting. The letters, a few work letters for Hamilton, a few invitation letters for Philip, one letter from Maria to Burr and one letter was from Eliza. Theodosia put Maria's letter in her pocket then walked eagerly to find Hamilton. She found and greeted her father in the dining room where she get the information that Hamilton's in his study room.

"Mr. Hamilton?" Theodosia knocked on the door and walked in after Hamilton let her. She gave the letter that arrived this morning to him. "A letter came from Mrs. Hamilton."

Hearing that it was from Eliza, Hamilton put down his quill and quickly opened the letter. He looked serious as he read it. Theodosia was surprised when she took a closer look and found out that Hamilton re-read the letter, something he rarely does. When Hamilton put it down, he had a face of disbelief. Three words came out of his mouth, "Oh my God…"

"Mr. Hamilton?" Theodosia called worriedly. Hamilton stood from his seat and grabbed Theodosia's arms. Eyes deadly staring at hers.

"We have to go uptown." He whispered, Theodosia furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. He let go and ran to his own bedroom as he shouted, "WE HAVE TO GO UPTOWN!"

"What!?" Phillip shouted from his bedroom. Sleepiness ran out of him and he woke up instantly at his father's screaming. He ran to the study room where he found Theodosia in the same state of confusion.

"BURR, THEODOSIA, PHILLIP! WE'RE GOING UPTOWN RIGHT NOW!" Hamilton shouted from his bedroom. He's in the middle of shoving his suitcase with clothes. He didn't care about the neat, he just needed clothes to bring.

"WHAT!?" Burr shouted. Burr walked to the study room to find Theodosia and Phillip discussing about what might have happened that Hamilton was so excited. At the end, Theodosia grabbed the letter that Hamilton read, Eliza's letter. Phillip and Burr walked to Theodosia. She started reading the letter.

"My dearest husband, I love to hear how well you are doing and that Phillip, Theodosia and Mr. Burr are helping. I believe I also have good news for you. You may want to know that I think we're CLOSER TO THE DUE DATE OF THE BABY-" Theodosia put the letter down and hugged Phillip. Excitedly saying, "You're going to have another sibling!"

"WHAT!?" Phillip and Burr shouted at the same time. Burr took the letter because Theodosia was too busy hugging Phillip. He started reading it out loud again, "You may want to know that I think we're closer to the due date of the baby and that the baby is a girl."

Burr was triggered at the word girl. He ran outside the room, heading to his own guestroom as he shouted along the way, "I'LL GO GET A CARRIAGE! THEODOSIA LET'S GO AND PACK OUR STUFF AS WELL!"

In a matter of minutes. There's a carriage in front of Hamilton's house, ready to go to the Schuyler's house. Theodosia, Burr, Phillip and Hamilton ready to go. Burr and Hamilton was talking about what else they needed, Theodosia double checking everything while Phillip started putting the suitcases in the carriage. They settled inside the carriage. Burr chose to sit next to Hamilton so Theodosia can sit with Phillip. He knew it was coming. Ohhh he knew Theodosia and Phillip would hold hands and fall asleep leaning to each other. But instead of having the over protective vibe, he was relaxed, thinking it's kind of cute.

That is until Hamilton's sleeping figure leaned on him, _this is going to be a long ride._


	14. Quick

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 13: Quick~**

Hamilton stormed in the Schuyler mansion, pretty much jumped off the carriage. It made Theodosia jumped awake. Phillip, who was already awake a few minutes before, took his time to calm her down. Telling her that they've arrived. Burr muttered under his breath about how impatient Hamilton was and went down the carriage to grab the suitcases.

"You ready to move?" Phillip asked sweetly, moving a strand of hair from Theodosia's face. She nuzzled to his chest, yawning.

"No. Still sleepy. But we have to move."

"Yup. Come on, I want to introduce you to Grandpa and Grandma." Theodosia's eyes opened wide at his remark. She didn't even think that through. She didn't think that she would be meeting them so fast. She's not ready. Phillip held her hand and kissed her cheek, "Calm down, they don't bite."

Theodosia matched her breaths with Phillip. He smiled proudly at her and walked out, helped her walked out of the carriage. Looks like Burr already went inside the house… er… mansion. Some servants already took out Phillip and Theodosia's bag. Phillip let Theodosia looped her arm around his and walked up the stairs. There, an old couple was waiting. They were both dressed so elegantly but clad in black, from their daughter's death. Theodosia couldn't help but think of a few similarities they shared with Phillip.

"It's my little baby boy! All grown up now! Aweeeee and he brought a lady home!" The older woman, Theodosia guessed is Catherine Van Rensselaer Schuyler, Phillip's grandma. Phillip smiled and greeted her back. Hugging her and kissing her cheeks.

"I'm an adult now Grandma. I'm already seventeen!"

"You'll forever be our little baby boy though. Come here!" This time, it was the older man. Pulling Phillip into a tight hug and pat his back. Phillip Schuyler, Phillip's grandpa. The one Phillip got his name from. Theodosia smiled happily, she never got the pleasure of meeting grandparents. Never met them from her mother's side and from her father's side… well, they're already dead before she's born. Schuyler turned to Phillip, "Introduce us to your young lady now."

Phillip returned to Theodosia's side and nudged her forward. Theodosia curtsied. "Grandpa, Grandma, this is my beautiful, smart, funny, flawless, virtuoso, gorgeous, kind-" Theodosia edged his ribs playfully. Made Phillip stopped and chuckled before continuing, "-the list goes one, honestly- fiancée, Theodosia Burr. Theodosia, this is my Grandma, the ever so beautiful Catherine Van Rensselaer Schuyler and my Grandpa, the man who spoils all of his grandchildren, Phillip Schuyler."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Schuyler." Theodosia said, but the laughter was bubbling up. Schuyler and Catherine didn't hold it in, actually laughed at Phillip's remark.

"The pleasure is ours!"

"Come on in, Eliza is waiting inside."

Theodosia couldn't help but held her breath when she walked in the mansion. It was huge and decorated and so… home-feeling. Angelica ran up to her and hugged her, "I'm so glad you came! I heard Pops freaked out when he read the letter and forced all of you to come with him! But I'm still glad you came!"

"Hey Angelica, how are you?"

"How am I?" She raised an eyebrow teasingly, looped her arm around Theodosia and basically stole Theodosia from Phillip. She smirked and whispered, "How are you? Living under the same roof with Phillip for a whole week. Hmmmm."

Theodosia turned red. She was going to continue to talking until she heard Eliza's screaming. Her heart dropped and she ran, dragging Angelica along, to the sound of the scream. They stopped in front of the room where Angelica stopped her. They weren't the only one in front of the room. Burr, and the other Hamilton kids were there. Behind them, walking toward the room was Phillip, Catherine and Schuyler. If Theodosia listened carefully, she could hear Hamilton's voice inside.

Oh… Eliza's having the baby now.

"It's by luck, but Pops got here right when Ma felt her water broke." Angelica explained. They waited outside the room for what feels like hours. Theodosia was sitting on the floor between Angelica and Phillip. Phillip was holding her hand tight because he's going to have another sibling, Angelica's gripping her hand tight because she's finally going to have a sister. Theodosia was just there. Sitting, waiting. She had thought of the Hamilton's as her own family, and now there's a new baby, what's there not to be excited about.

After the long hours, finally the door opened. The doctor talked to Catherine and Schuyler while Phillip, Theodosia, Burr and Angelica rushed inside. Eliza was laying on the bed, half asleep, she looked tired from what she had done. Hamilton was holding the baby, crying at how beautiful it was. His eyes showed how proud he was, as if holding the most precious gem in the world.

"What are we naming her, Alexander?" Eliza asked, she looked like she was about to sleep anytime. Hamilton wreck his brain. He wanted to name the baby Margarita, in memory of Peggy. But, looking at his wife… and how much she meant to him. Hamilton smiled and cupped Eliza's cheek with his free hand.

"Elizabeth Hamilton. That's what we'll name the baby." Eliza lit up to the name, smiling before slowly drifting to sleep from exhaustion. Theodosia easily rested on Phillip's chest, happy to have a new addition to the family. A girl too. She knew Angelica's excited to have a sister. That's when Theodosia felt something rummaged on her dress. She put her hand in the pocket and pulled out a letter. Oh, right… Maria's letter that came along with Eliza's.

Burr and Theodosia took their leave a bit too soon. They didn't have time to interact much with others. Didn't have time to lounge around. It was pretty much useless that they had packed all of their stuff too. Because a letter from Maria told them she's going back to the house today, waiting for them. After all, Burr's holding the key to the house. Burr felt guilty that he forgot, so he asked Theodosia to come back home with him which she did.

It was unplanned of course, no hard feelings involved. The Schuylers asked them to come back soon, wanted to know their family-in-law better. They responded their approval and went away to go back home. After the birth of Elizabeth Hamilton, everything was picking up. While, because of Peggy and Laurens' death, Hamilton would drown himself in work, now he would come back home soon, spend as much as time he could with his family. He neglected some of his duty as a father or a husband. Sometimes forgetting about events, sometimes losing track of time. But he would make it up soon.

Theodosia sighed, everything was picking up. That's fine, right?

* * *

It was December when it went downhill again.

Two letter came to Hamilton's house and Burr's house. Both was from the Washington family. But one was a personal letter while the other was invitation letter.

Of which in December 14, 1799… Mr. George Washington passed away.

Hamilton and the whole family immediately went to Washington's house. Hamilton busying himself with the funeral while Eliza trying to soothe her best friend. Burr, Theodosia and Maria came as well. Mourned for America's first president. Everyone in the country was wearing black. Theodosia could see every important people coming to the funeral. Cries, mourns, wails in the street. But most of all, the impact it had on Hamilton.

Washington was Hamilton's father-like figure. Was there for him every step. Was there to raise him up. Was there whenever he made stupid or odd decisions. Had the attention and calmness that could decrease Hamilton's uproar. Yet there's Hamilton, with baggy eyes and weak figure. He looks like he hadn't slept for months. Hints of tears stained on his cheeks and the way he stood so limp.

Hamilton wasn't the only one. Jefferson, Madison and Burr was like that as well. Having lost a father-like figure in their own lives. Theodosia took a deep breath, she asked Angelica slowly about what happened. Because, surely Angelica would hear any gossips or facts around. She said he was sick, fell sick because of the weather and his activities. The treatment wasn't working.

Theodosia took a deep breath. Reminiscences of what his impact had on her. They had many interactions but one stood out the most for Theodosia. The first Winter's Ball without her mother… Washington was there and watched over her father and herself. She can remember it as if it's yesterday.

 _"And I consider their children my grandchildren."_

 _"Your mother was a lovely and fierce lady, Theodosia. And a part of her lives in you. I know that one day, you'll make us proud."_

It's the same case as her mother… the same case as Peggy and Laurens. It's sickness. It's illness. It's something she can't change. It was the same in the last timeline. The world also mourned for Washington's death. That night, Theodosia found herself crying in her room, wondering who else she won't be able to save, wondering who else she'll lose.

There was no Winter's Ball that year.


	15. Birthday

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 14: Birthday~**

April 13, 1800.

Thomas Jefferson woke up to his servant. He was saying someone was on the door and will only walk in if Jefferson's the one who welcomed them. Jefferson's eyebrow met. It's his special day and he's forced to get out of the bed. He sighed and got up. Put on a presentable suit and walked to the front door. He opened the door. It was packed in front of his front door. Hamilton upfront, his full nuclear family behind him. Theodosia was standing, holding hands with Phillip while Burr and Madison was on the most back, as if a wolf pack making sure no kids got lost.

"Woah, woah, woah." Jefferson stopped everyone from entering. "I don't remember anyone saying they'll be visiting."

There was only one reason they were there. They were tired of mourning everyday. They all loved Washington, but to keep mourning won't be something good. Plus, it's a special day today. Perhaps it'll be the day they also moved on from Washington's death.

"Here. A small gift." Hamilton nudged a bowl of mac and cheese. It looked so yummy, as if it's just out from the oven. Jefferson would usually be suspicious. Especially over Hamilton giving him anything. Oh but he can't resist it, Jefferson was so happy.

"Thank you I never thought that-" Hamilton shoved the bowl. Splattered mac and cheese on Jefferson's face. It took a few minutes till the bowl finally fell to the ground. Jefferson had teary puppy eyes as Hamilton stared with devil eyes. Everyone bursts out laughing. Even Madison and Burr was holding their stomach. The face of the genius covered with mac and cheese. Priceless.

"Sorry. We just wanted to prank you a little bit." Hamilton apologized.

"Here's your mac and cheese Mr. Jefferson." Theodosia walked up and gave him another bowl of mac and cheese. A real one, with a spoon even.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. JEFFERSON!" The Hamilton kids sang out in chorus. Jefferson sighed. He knew he won't be able to get angry at the kids. He let all of them in, excused himself to clean up. Everyone settled in the living room. When Jefferson got back, they made it a small party. The servants immediately made drinks and snacks. The kids were having fun with whatever they could get their hands on. Eliza was sitting down, entertaining her youngest daughter. Phillip and Theodosia was previously sitting next to each other. Till Phillip offered Theodosia for a drink. Theodosia agreed and she was left alone to wait. Jefferson walked up to her.

"Mr. Jefferson, hello."

"Miss Theodosia. I heard about your engagement to Phillip Hamilton!" He said. Although he's still in the middle of finishing his mac and cheese.

"Thank you Mr. Jefferson." Theodosia said. Then there was a silent comfortable silence between them. They were enjoying the scenery of the living room. Everyone was having fun. Everyone but one. Theodosia asked him, "Why the confused look Mr. Jefferson?"

"Well, I am thinking of resigning. Maybe run for the president seat. I don't really like the way Adams is leading the country."

"I see…"

He turned, put the empty bowl down, "What do you think of the plan, Miss Burr?"

Theodosia put her hands over her chest and one to her chin. "Honestly, I think you should hold on to the plan."

"Oh? And why is that?" Jefferson asked, intrigued at her opinion.

"Mr. Hamilton still needs a lot to fix in his plan. If you leave early, imagine how many holes he needs to fix without someone pointing it out." Theodosia answered

"I see you see Mr. Hamilton and my rivalry from a different perspective."

"Yes. I see how Mr. Hamilton comes up with such brilliant ideas. Mr. Jefferson, you would contradict his ideas, forcing Mr. Hamilton to see it from your point of view, which he will fix. It's an annoying kind of way to notice the holes, but hey, I think that would be the only way to actually get it into Mr. Hamilton's mind."

"True. Well, maybe I can hold on. At least until Mr. Hamilton had enough of me firing back."

Theodosia laughed, "I don't think your rivalry will ever end."

Jefferson was satisfied with the smile Theodosia threw and left as soon as Phillip came with drinks. Theodosia chose to stand at the same spot. Just to watch what's happening. Phillip, at first, was content with accompanying her but then Jefferson asked him to play the piano as he played the violin. Everyone was silent as Phillip sat on a piano and Jefferson picked up his violin. They started playing and everyone watched, swoon by the beautiful tunes. Hamilton walked up to Theodosia. "Theodosia! Hey, have I thanked you for actually thinking of this plan?"

"I don't think I deserve a thank you Mr. Hamilton. You did most of the work." Theodosia smiled back. The mac and cheese present and gathering all of the people was all Hamilton's work. The idea was from Theodosia and Phillip.

"Well, you still deserve one. So, thank you."

"You're welcome." Theodosia answered. Sip of her juice then she looked at how easy Jefferson was distracting the Hamilton kids. Theodosia nudged closer to Hamilton and asked, "Uh, Mr. Hamilton, is it me or Mr. Jefferson seems really fond of your children."

"Fond of my children? Theodosia, if Jefferson can adopt my children, he would take all of them."

Theodosia frowned, "I thought you hate each other?"

"Ah yes." Hamilton nodded. "But we don't hate each other when it comes to family matter."

"Huh?"

"Let me tell you a story." Theodosia gripped her drink while Hamilton put down his glass.

 _It was the first time they met. Thomas Jefferson went to New York right after he arrived from France. Washington introduced them. It wasn't that great of a first impression. They went separate ways quickly after that. Hamilton needed to grab his papers from his office. So Washington, Madison and Jefferson went to the room before him. When Hamilton arrived, he was holding papers in his left hand and a nine-years-old Phillip's hand on his right hand. Everyone in the room stared but because Washington didn't question Hamilton, no one did. Well, Jefferson's unlike everybody else. He came up to Hamilton's side with Madison next to him and asked, "Hamilton. Who is this?"_

 _"Mr. Jefferson, Mr. Madison. This is my son. Phillip Hamilton." Hamilton introduced the boy sitting next to him._

 _"Hello sir." Phillip smiled kindly. Jefferson and Madison clearly melted from the cuteness._

 _"Hello kiddo." Jefferson answered, then turn to Hamilton, "Is it okay for him to be here?"_

 _"My daughter, Angelica, is sick and my wife is taking care of her. So I have to take care of my son here for now. I already asked Mr. Washington if it's okay and he said that as long he doesn't bother anyone else, it's fine. Plus, he's great help." As Hamilton said it, he ruffled Phillip's hair. Phillip giggled to it. Madison looked like he wanted to snuggle Phillip but held it back, didn't want Phillip to catch his cold. Jefferson was worried about another thing._

 _"Help? How?"_

 _"You'll see Mr. Jefferson." Hamilton smirked. Jefferson took a few steps back and presented his case. Hamilton sat down on his seat and pulled Phillip to sit on his lap so Phillip can look at the room better._

 _"Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We fought for this ideals, we shouldn't settle for less. These are wise words. Enterprising men quote 'em. Don't act surprise you guys cause I wrote 'em."_

"Mr. Jefferson is a pretty good debate partner." Theodosia mentioned, letting Hamilton a time to breathe through his story. Hamilton nodded.

"Oh I agree he's good. If not, I wouldn't be giving much of a fight."

 _Jefferson was taunting Hamilton. His height towering over Hamilton easily. Especially with the fact Jefferson's standing while Hamilton's sitting down made Jefferson looked taller. "But Hamilton forgets. His plan would have the government assume state's debts. Now place your bets as to who that benefits. The very seat of government where Hamilton sits."_

 _As Jefferson descended to taunt on his table, Hamilton took a good glare on him. He screamed, "Not true!"_

 _Jefferson pulled up his hand and took steps back. "Oh! If the shoe fits wear it! If New York's in debt, why should Virginia bear it? Uh… our debts are paid I'm afraid. Don't tax the south cause we got it made in the shade."_

 _Hamilton visibly glared at the thought of the slaves working around. He was eased off when Phillip reached for his hand and held it tight. But Jefferson didn't care, he continued. "In Virginia, we plant seeds in the South. We create. You just wanna move our money around. This financial plan's an outrages demand! And it's too many damn pages for any man to understand! Stand with me in the land of the free. And pray to God we never see Hamilton's candidacy. Look, when Britain tax our tea, we got frisky. Imagine what gon' happen when you try to tax our whisky."_

 _Jefferson smirked victoriously. Hamilton's face clearly screamed OH YOU'RE GONNA REGRET THAT._

 _"Thank you Secretary Jefferson." Washington said. He let Jefferson sit down on his seat before looking at the other side, "Secretary Hamilton, your response?"_

 _Hamilton smirked, he idly relaxed on his seat. Phillip was the one who moved. He took off from his father's lap. Phillip took his papers, stood up and went to the middle of the room. Because of his height, he had to look up to Jefferson and Madison. The two men were thinking of how cute Phillip was. Imagine their surprise when Phillip started saying, "Mr. Jefferson. That was a real nice declaration. Welcome to the present we're running a real nation. Would you like to join us or stay mellow?"_

 _Hamilton cuts in, "Doing whatever the hell it is you do in Monticello!"_

 _"If we assume the debts the union gets a new line of credit, a financial diuretic. How do you not get it? If we're aggressive and competitive, the union gets a boost. You'd rather give it a sedative?" By the time Phillip was rapping the whole presentation, Hamilton picked young Phillip up to his shoulder and everyone was too astounded to speak. Too surprised that Hamilton's kid was presenting his case instead of him. But after Phillip was on his shoulder, Hamilton took over._

 _"A civics lesson from a slaver. Hey neighbor, your debts are paid cause you don't pay for labor. 'We plant seeds in the South. We create.' Yeah, keep ranting! We know who're really doing the planting." Hamilton let Phillip sat on his shoulder, making them taller than Jefferson. Hamilton continued, "And another thing, Mr. Age of Enlightenment. Don't lecture me about the war, you didn't fight in it. You think I'm frightened of you man? We almost died in a trench while you were off getting high with the French!"_

 _"Mr. Jefferson always hesitant with the President, reticent, there isn't a plan he doesn't jettison." Phillip picked up. Having fun on his father's shoulder. Playing with the small strands of his father's hair._

 _"Madison you mad as a hatter! Son! Take your medicine! Damn, you're in worst shape than the national debt is in! Sitting there useless as two-" Hamilton stopped abruptly. Silencing the whole court. He took Phillip off his shoulder, gently let him down and standing on the the floor. Then Hamilton proceeded to cover his son's ears. Once he made sure Phillip can't hear that well, Hamilton glared at Jefferson, "Shits! Hey, turn around, bend over! I'll show you where my shoe fits!"_

Theodosia laughed hard, "Then what happened?"

"Mr. Washington dismissed us, saying we need to take a walk. Jefferson and Madison wanted to be mad but instead it goes 'I wanna scream your ass out of this place but damn that debate was cute.'"

Theodosia was stolen by Phillip asking how he did with the piano. She wasn't able to respond to Hamilton but he was already busy talking with Burr again anyways. Theodosia praised her fiancée in which she got kisses as return and a small snarl from Eliza saying there are kids around. After a few hours, Eliza asked if the kids could take a nap or some place to rest, the party since the morning took toll on their body. Jefferson lead them to a room with beds and Theodosia helped Eliza tucked them to a small nap. Eliza chose to stay with them, since their youngest daughter was still too young to be left alone. Theodosia chose to wait with her, reading a book from the bookshelf.

They didn't know. Oh, if only they know.

That in the party room, the men gang up on Phillip. Jefferson swung a hand around Phillip's shoulder with a small smirk. Burr and Madison had a face that this is a terrible idea but continued along while Hamilton looked to agree with whatever Jefferson's doing. Phillip gulped. Jefferson talked to him, "Boy! You're already past the legal age!"

"Yes, that's right Mr. Jefferson."

"You know what that means!" Madison smiled eagerly.

"Son, let's have a drink." Hamilton cleared up his son's confusion.

"…what?" Phillip asked, surprised. The men didn't hesitate as they dragged the youngest along with them

"Shhhh. We have to be quiet." Burr noted and ran behind them.

After a few hours, Theodosia excused herself to the toilet. That's when she noticed. It's far too quiet. After the toilet trip, Theodosia looked into the party room, was surprised to find it empty. The servants seemed to already clean up all the mess from before. Theodosia looked around the house and found no clue where the men are. She ran back to the room. Still panting, Theodosia opened the door, "Um, Mrs. Hamilton?"

"Yes Theodosia?" Eliza asked, looked up from the book she was reading.

"Well, I can't seem to find Mr. Jefferson, Mr. Madison, Papa, Mr. Hamilton and Phillip."

"Have you checked the study room? They might be discussing politics." Eliza asked. Her voice was calm, but she put down her book and stood up. Her expression was worried.

"I have. They're not there too. Library too, living room and the places I could think of. They're not there."

A servant came in, with a kettle and cups. She overheard the conversation because the door was left open and so she answered their question, "If you are searching for the gentlemen, they went on a carriage a few hours ago."

Eliza looked at Theodosia dead in the eye. "…oh no… Theodosia! Let's go!"

Eliza dragged Theodosia out of the house. They didn't scream or shout for the gentlemen's name. They looked around every single bar they could fine. Almost giving up midway when the sun was starting to set. It was the last bar in town, Eliza and Theodosia walked into the bar.

"I HAVE LIVED TO SEE OUR GLORY!"

"I HAVE JOINED ALL THE FIGHTS!"

"AND WHEN OUR CHILDREN TELLS OUR STORY!"

"THEY'LL TELL THE STORY OF TONIGHT!"

"SO RAISE A GLASS TO FREEEEEDOOMMMMMM!"

Oh Jesus. Talk about politicians starting a party drunk. Hamilton and Jefferson was holding shoulder to shoulder as they raised their drinks up high. Burr and Madison sat on the counter, mimicking their friends. Phillip… was on the verge of passing out. Tints of blush from the drunkenness. They had wiggly movements and can't seem to focus. Theodosia shook her head while Eliza just sighed. "We've searched everywhere and-" she massaged the bridge of her nose, "Of course they would choose the bar that's farthest from the house."

"How did they managed to get Papa and Mr. Madison drunk?" Theodosia called in confusedly. She never seen her father tried getting drunk. Maybe, being the only sober women there caught the men's attention. In a matter of seconds, Hamilton and Jefferson jumped down the table.

"AYE! IT'S MY ANGEL!" Jefferson shouted, walking to Theodosia with open arms.

"YOURS!?" Burr shouted angrily, drunkenly. He shoved Jefferson aside and pointed as he shouted, "SHE'S MINE!"

"Eliza have I ever mention how really REAAALLLLLYYYYY beautiful you are? The other guys be jealous that you're mine and I'm so proud." Hamilton said as he hugged and held onto Eliza's waist. For sure, the other men in the bar was looking at them… for various reasons.

"Theodosia!" Phillip shouted in fear. Burr and Madison was holding onto both of his legs, shouting 'Theodosia's mine! You're not taking her away from me!'. Phillip tried his best and dragged the two men to hold onto Theodosia. Looked up to her pleadingly with sad puppy eyes. "Make them go away! Make them go away!"

Theodosia turned to look at Eliza. Hamilton's hugging Eliza from behind, head resting on her shoulder as she smothered her with kisses. Theodosia asked, "Did you have to deal with this before, Mrs. Hamilton?"

"I've dealt with this with Alexander's previous squad." Eliza stated. Remembered the friends Hamilton used to hang out with. Phew, that was trouble as well. Peggy, Angelica and sometimes Washington had to help out. Eliza's eyes landed on the drunken people, "This new squad though… I haven't."

Honestly, it was a miracle they were even able to get back home safely.


	16. Break

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 15: Break~**

Theodosia tied the strings that Hamilton overworking was ruining his relationship with his family. It's up and down. Sometimes he would have time for the children, after being pushed around by Eliza. Sometimes he would have none of it. Today, though, was a pretty special day. Phillip was really excited as he picked her up in her house and walked to his house. All the way talking about how his aunt, Angelica Schuyler Church is coming for the summer. Angelica's the most excited one out of all the siblings.

Theodosia's first impression of Angelica Schuyler Church was _wow_. She would understand why everyone was so excited to meet her. She carried around an elegant and smart atmosphere. The way she moved was graceful and she chose her words carefully. But when she talked to Eliza and the children, she's a woman. A natural one. Then her eyes landed on Theodosia. She shied away, trying to hide behind Phillip. Don't know why. Perhaps because in the previous timeline, they never actually officially met.

"You must be Miss Theodosia Burr." She called. Theodosia found herself walking upfront. The mention of her family name brought pride in herself. She gave a small curtsy.

"A pleasure to finally meet you Mrs. Church. Phillip talked fondly of you."

"As a woman who has never been satisfied?"

Theodosia nodded.

"He's correct. Well, sorry for the short introduction. I want to say hello to Alexander." And with that she left off. Holding hands with Eliza as they went to Hamilton's study room. Phillip startled Theodosia by tickling her side. She lost control and laughed, finally stopping when Phillip gave it a rest. He took her hand and led her upstairs.

"Come on. I wanna show you the newest poems."

"Sure. I'll make a small trip to the toilet first though." Theodosia excused herself. Phillip nodded and walked away. The toilet in the house was right next to the study room. Weirdly enough, it was slightly open and Theodosia can hear what's going on inside. She could hear Eliza and Angelica trying hard to convince Hamilton to take a break. But… after Washington's death, Hamilton took over Washington's hopes and dreams and developed various new plan which he gotta get through to congress. It was going pretty well, but it does take time.

"Take a break, Alexander, please? Join us upstate." Eliza begged, her voice trying not to crack. Hamilton declined walked into another room in the study room. Angelica frowned and Eliza sighed. They were trying to soothe each other. Theodosia knocked on the door and walked in. Angelica excused herself, needed a drink. Although Theodosia can hear her muttering under her breath. Eliza sat down in front of the piano and Theodosia followed as she stood next to her. Eliza smiled at Theodosia, "I knew you were eavesdropping."

Theodosia facepalmed, still on her seat. She stuttered "H-how?"

"Mother instinct." Eliza giggled and sat to face Theodosia, "Now that I think about it. You can call me 'mother', Theodosia."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course! You're going to be my daughter-in-law soon. Might as well start get used to the nickname now, yes?" Eliza stated and earned an eager nod from Theodosia. It was followed by Theodosia trying out the name in her lips, it made both of them happy in a way. Then Eliza giggled, "I'll tell you a funny story. This is a real story. A few years ago, the congress suspected Alexander did something illegal. So they demanded him to provide an in-depth accounts of things the treasury department did."

"To find evidence that could be used against him, I bet." Theodosia scoffed and Eliza nodded.

"True. They also gave an absurd deadline time."

It caught Theodosia's attention as she unconsciously leaned forward, "What did Mr. Hamilton do?"

"He delivered his report… _two weeks early_."

"What!?" the shock of the story earned laughter from the two ladies in the room. The fit of laughter didn't last long though. After a few seconds it died down and Eliza gave a pained expression. Theodosia frowned, fidgeted in her seat, don't know what to do.

"I remember him being so passionate. He was up day and night. Mr. Washington even came to visit only to laugh at how determined he was." Eliza continued on. She looked at a picture of her husband hanging on the wall, with her next to him. A sigh left her lips. Eliza looked at Theodosia, "I fell in love for the man who won't give up what he believes in, not the man who would give up his family for it though."

Theodosia was about to cheer her up but Eliza left. Theodosia was left alone in the room. One chance. She gotta fix this. Theodosia took a deep breath and walked toward the door to Hamilton's study room. She knocked on the door. She didn't wait for a response as she opened the door enough for her to peek in.

"Mr. Hamilton, excuse me, a spare of your time?" Theodosia asked nicely. Hamilton looked up from the papers, and figured a few moments to talk with her daughter in law won't do him any harm. So he set the papers and his glasses down.

"Of course. What is it?"

Theodosia walked in the room, closed the door, and head to her father-in-law's desk. She stood right in front of him. She took a deep breath before muttering, "I'm sorry. I overheard the conversation."

Hamilton sighed. Of course she would have heard the conversation before, they didn't close the door tight. "I see. Well? What of it?"

"I have to side with Mrs. Ha-" Theodosia stopped abruptly, the conversation before this hitting her and continued, "I mean, mother. Mr. Hamilton, summer vacation is the only time the others can have your time ever since you drowned yourself with work."

"Theodosia. I believe you know that I-"

"Need to get your plans through congress." Theodosia continued as if she knew exactly what is going on his mind. Yet she smiled and stepped one feet closer from her position, "Then how about I asked for Papa's help? And if that's not enough, I'm sure Phillip and I can spare our time of summer to help as well."

"Thank you for the offer but-"

"Mother, looks really lonely." She cut him again. What Theodosia said caught him off-guard. He silenced himself to listen to her while Theodosia stood there, trying to convey how she felt when she saw Eliza gave her such a lonely smile. "Did you realize that? Mr. Hamilton, you haven't gone to summer vacation with them for three years now. It's taking its toll on the children. Phillip and I have been here more often to make sure she doesn't give such a lonely smile. Yet we know, you're the only one who can fix that."

"My wife is a smart woman. She understands-"

"Understands that you are important and there is so much you can do better for America as long as you have the time. Yes Mr. Hamilton, I know. But please know, she is also a woman, she needs your attention. Mr. Hamilton, I know mother so well and I assure you, you will never find anyone as trusting or as kind."

Hamilton was silent. He doesn't know how to contradict this. After all, he hadn't been paying attention on his family because of the pressure the work got him into. It was then that he realized the lonely smiles and attempts Eliza did to have a bit more of his attention. Of course he knew how kind and trusting his own wife is. She was patient with him through every single step he took in his life. She was there when he was on a trench, pushing him to do the better things, she was there when Laurens and Peggy died, she was there when Washington died, she was there through every single mistakes he made. He sighed and slowly rubbed his temple, trying to work things through his head.

"Drowning yourself in work? Okay. But your wife could at least have a spare of your time, right? Would that be enough?" Theodosia smiled at him. As if she knew he wouldn't be able to say no to that, and she was right.

"You got me. Okay. I will join." Hamilton answered. Theodosia was filled with happiness the second after. Hamilton stood up and pointed a finger, "Under the condition that Aaron Burr and you, joining us for the summer vacation and Mr. Burr, Phillip and you shall help me in a few of your times."

"Consider it done Mr. Hamilton."

"Oh, and Theodosia?"

"Yes Mr. Hamilton?"

"Call me father if you want."

"I'll be heading back home now then, father."

True to his words, Phillip escorted Theodosia back to the Burr house. They talked all the way they walk. Weather, politics, work, poets, courts, marriage, kids. Is there any topic they hadn't talk about? Phillip asked them to go home the long way, to spend more time together. He was rejected of course, since Theodosia wanted to set her plan in motion faster. Phillip pouted, gave in to Theodosia's decision. Now they didn't notice at the time but from afar a horse carriage lost control. It was going too fast that Theodosia and Phillip didn't have enough time to react. Once they realized it, boxes from the carriage was falling over toward them.

Theodosia's eyes widen. The next thing she heard was Phillip shouting her name.


	17. Push

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 16: Push~**

It happened so fast. Too fast.

In the second Phillip shouted her name, he pulled her towards him, out of the way of the falling boxes. It was a reflect action and wasn't really calculated. At the end, Phillip wasn't fast enough, because some of the boxes hit Theodosia's feet. Theodosia grunted in pain, held in the scream to not panic Phillip. His instincts called and quickly removed the boxes that burdened her feet. He stared at Theodosia's feet becoming swollen and he started panicking. Theodosia shushed him, whispering soothing things. Although she can feel the tears of pain running down her cheeks. Someone who had seen the accident happened offered ice and Theodosia thanked them.

"What do I do!?" Phillip panicked continued. Theodosia rolled her eyes. Her leg is not broken or anything. The box wasn't that heavy. Sure, it hurts but watching Phillip panic is not something she enjoy. It's just swollen and will be better after a few days. Honestly, she couldn't keep it in of how cute Phillip worrying over her. She calmly asked if he could carry her home. Phillip complied. Picked her up, gently, as if she's going to break in his arms if he was any kind of rough. Theodosia wanted to mention they could just ask for a carriage but was too busy swooning over Phillip's strength.

Burr opened the door to a panic Phillip carrying a calm Theodosia. Of course, he panicked. Called for Maria and shouted at Phillip to bring her to her room. He did. He laid Theodosia to the bed. Made sure nothing burdened her swollen feet. It was starting to turn slightly purple. After that, Theodosia felt like she wasn't allowed to talk. Phillip was in charge of explaining everything to the panicking Burr while Maria busied herself on trying to stop the swollen feet from becoming worse.

"WHAT!?" Burr panicked. His voice rose. He was breathing frantically, he didn't know what to do. Phillip was behind him, looking worried as well. Theodosia frowned, she was trying not to laugh because she imagined what would happen if Mr. Hamilton- father- was here as well. It would probably be so loud, of three men not knowing what to do. Her tears of pain stopped. The pain was still there, but it doesn't hurt as much like before.

"Stop squirming or this will hurt." Maria warned Theodosia, in which she actually stopped moving and said her apologies. Maria continued working on her feet.

"Ssh… Papa." Theodosia reassured him and started helping Maria to treat herself on the swollen part of her feet. Thanked Maria for the help and looked back up to the two men, "It's okay. It'll be better soon."

"If Phillip wasn't there-" Burr watched as Theodosia winced a bit from the pain.

"But he was." She retorted.

"Phillip, Maria, leave us for a while." Phillip was hesitant. He didn't want to leave her side but this is coming from his father-in-law's mouth. One look from Theodosia reassured him that everything will be okay. So after a kiss to her forehead, Phillip left and closed the door gently. Maria followed along behind him.

"Papa… you also need some rest. Please? You've been working too hard this past few months. The project you're working with Mr. Jefferson and Mr. Madison is making you restless. Mr. Hamilton offered us to spend summer with them."

"Theodosia, you have a purple feet and what you're thinking about right now is summer."

"If I don't avert the topic, you won't be able to sleep tonight."

"I-…" Burr sighed in defeated. She was right. He would be thinking all about that for the rest of the night. "Fine. What for?"

"I… kinda said Papa will help him with his work…"

"Theo-"

"Papa, you're a great lawyer, also a great senator. Mr. Hamilton needs you. Phillip and I will be helping too. Papa please, spare time for us."

"Theodosia no." He glared.

"Theodosia yes." She fought back.

"Don't start that game with me, young lady." Burr pointed at Theodosia.

"But Papaaaaa." Theodosia whined. "Can't you see… Mr. Hamilton NEEDS you."

"Even so. No." Burr rejected. He thought he had made himself clear but instead he received a playful sly smirk from his daughter instead. Burr raised an eyebrow, not knowing what his daughter might be up to. Burr went out of the room to ask Maria to call a doctor. The second the door closed, it opened again. This time Phillip entered. He was probably waiting outside the door the whole time. When Phillip saw the playful sly smirk on Theodosia there's only one thing that crossed his mind, _this is not good._

"Phillip, help me out." Theodosia wasted no second. Phillip gulped, he sat down next to her and sighed. There's just no way he can reject her when she made up her mind like this. Theodosia leaned in and told him her plan. It made Phillip gulped once more. By the end of the plan a wide smile was on Theodosia's face while Phillip looked pathetic.

"You've been spending way too much time with Angelica."

"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"I don't know. But Theodosia, I can get killed for this."

"Please, Phillip? For me?"

"You're lucky I love you." Phillip groaned and stood up from his seat. Theodosia giggled, she knows she is lucky. Phillip's going to do as what Theodosia wanted him to do. How helpless was he? Burr walked in with Maria following behind him. They were discussing to get a doctor to check just in case. She looked worried at Theodosia but she kept listening to what Burr was saying. After Burr finished Phillip confronted immediately. "Well, Mr. Burr, I see you've made your decision to not stay with us for the summer."

"Yes. And that is final."

"And that is fine." Phillip smiled to convince the act. It took Burr's attention in. Maria took a glimpse of Theodosia and she knew immediately what's going on. Maria held in her laughter. Phillip continued his act, "At least that means I can have Theodosia all to myself _every night_."

Burr frowned. Burr was confused. Burr realized the meaning. Burr screamed, "I CHANGE MY MIND. I AM GOING."

A small shouting of YES soared in Theodosia's head. Though in Phillip's head it was THANK GOD I'M NOT DEAD. Burr walked out of the room immediately to write a letter for Hamilton of his confirmation. Maria walked over to Theodosia, clicking her tongue playfully, "You are a sneaky girl. You know how protective your father is."

"Well, you deserve some rest and time for your daughter too Maria. Papa needs some rest as well. I just gave him a little nudge."

"A little nudge? Theodosia? Really?" Phillip asked platonically.

"Okay, maybe 'pushed' him is the correct word." Theodosia loosely smiled. Phillip chuckled and hugged his girl. Maria sighed. They're cute and all but if they can manipulate people like that. Oh God, Maria doesn't want to know what's going to happen in this world.

* * *

So a few days later. There were three carriages in front of the Hamilton house. Eliza assigned the carriages. Burr, Hamilton, Eliza, Angelica and young Eliza in the first carriage. James, John, Alexander Junior and William in the second carriage. Angelica, Phillip, Theodosia and the rest of the bags that wasn't enough in the first two carriages will be on the third carriage. Burr was first to reject, telling them he wanted to sit with Theodosia. Eliza used her motherly nature to calm Burr down, Phillip and Theodosia doesn't know how, but she did it.

"Papa. It's only a few hours drive and Angelica will be there." Theodosia reassured her father. Then she replayed the words in her head. And _Angelica_ will be there. As Theodosia turned, she saw Angelica with a teasing smirk, already in the carriage, while Phillip was already blushing red.

This is going to be an interrogation ride, is it?

The smug teasing look on Angelica's face answered it all.


	18. Ride

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 17: Ride~**

The ride. Gosh, the ride. Theodosia does not want to talk about it.

Phillip had walked off the carriage after the conversation with Burr. Helped Theodosia get into the carriage. Her swollen feet were better, standing was fine but walking still hurts. Angelica was giving her teasing eyes at start. As soon as the carriage start moving, she interrogated them. They weren't even able to enjoy the beautiful view. The fact that Theodosia and Phillip sat next to each other while Angelica was across them, just made the talk felt more real. Somehow it turned from teasing to asking. About the future. About what might happen.

Angelica whined, "I wanna be the maid of honor. I have to be!"

"And you can be. But why do you _have_ to be?"

"Uh? Duh, I'm the one who got you two together."

"She's not wrong about that one." Theodosia gulped. Phillip just sigh. Angelica had a sly smirk on her face as she thought about the next question.

"Can Joseph be the best man?" Angelica asked sweetly. Phillip scowled, though Theodosia was unaware of it. Theodosia simply wondered how close Angelica and Alston was now. She didn't letter much with him but certainly heard a lot about him from Angelica. Theodosia felt Phillip's hand holding hers tighter. Earned her small laughter.

"I don't know. I'm not sure."

"Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. If you guys have daughters. Can we name her Angelica?" Angelica asked. Theodosia blushed red. And Angelica gave them a teasing look. Well, guess it's back to the teasing again. The normal conversation was fun while it lasted. Theodosia doesn't dare to look next to her. She doesn't even know how to answer. Yet her felt Phillip's firm hand on hers.

" _If_ we have daughters." Phillip started, his voice gave no sign of embarrassment. "I want to name her Theodosia."

"Come on. I was the one that got you two together. Don't I deserve some credit?" Angelica pouted. Theodosia composed herself, her heart was beating too fast about Phillip's statement but if this drags on she will never hear the end of it from Angelica.

"Well, if we have our second daughter we'll name it-"

"Elizabeth. From Ma's name." Phillip cut of. Smug look on his lips. Oh, that's what happening. Phillip's not having any of Angelica's teasing today. It's rare for this to happen, but it does happen. They're gonna go on each other's throat until one of them surrender at this point. Theodosia groaned internally, but quickly settled down to watch the show.

"Then your third daughter!" Angelica shouted.

"Catherine. Grandma deserves someone to continue her name."

"Fourth!"

"Margarita. We'll call her Peggy though."

"Fifth!"

"Rachel. Pops' mother. I think it's a pretty good name."

"Sixth then!"

"Guys!" Theodosia shouted. A hint of pink on her cheeks. All the talking was a bit unbearable. "I'm not sure I'll be having six daughters, yes?"

"Why not?" Phillip asked so seriously but the look on his face-

'Jesus. That flirty mischievous look on his face is going to kill me someday.' Theodosia thought. Truth be told, Phillip was looking at her as if she's a prey. As if any second now and he might as well elope with her. Angelica had a winning smile on her face. Theodosia cough to return to her state, "You haven't taken to account if we have a son."

"I want to name them either Aaron or Alexander."

"Oh? Not Phillip?" Angelica asked.

"No… we can have that as a third."

"Why are we talking about kids' name?" Theodosia blurted out. Angelica and Phillip looked at her as if she was weird. Theodosia felt like she said the wrong thing. And turns out she did. Now Angelica and Phillip was ganging up on teasing her. Won't stop until she's hiding her face in Phillip's chest, might be a tad bit mortified.

The whole trip was… well… uncomfortable with all the teasing.

The second they arrived, Theodosia half-ran to Burr's side after Phillip helped her down the carriage. Burr instantly spied on Phillip and Angelica, the top suspects of the reason Theodosia reverted back to a small child asking protection from her father. Angelica and Phillip looked away, started helping with carrying the cases, feigning innocence. Theodosia was eased out of helping with the suitcases because of her injured feet. Alexander Junior actually stepped up to help her.

"You sure? I was sure you were talking with James before?"

"It's fine." Alexander Junior said sweetly. Oh he had grown to be more like Eliza, unlike Phillip and Angelica. He was sweet and kind. Put others before himself… unless we're talking about laws where he switched to full-on relentless Hamilton mode. After a few steps up the staircase, out of Phillip and Angelica's hearing, Alexander Junior, "Has my older siblings teased you the whole ride?"

Theodosia chuckled, "You could say that. Was it too obvious?"

"Not at all. But considering you've been like a babysitter and our own sisters. James, John, William and I noticed immediately. You could just tell me if they crossed the line. I'll make sure they pay for it." He explained and Theodosia zipped her lips. Anything she say will be used against her. One of the teachings Burr taught her about law. She's not taking any chances on making a case with Alexander Junior.

The others were busy with the suitcases. Catherine and Schuyler walked out gracefully out of the front door. Hands open wide. Their expression cheerful until they saw Theodosia leaning on Alexander Junior while wincing from pain because she made a wrong step. Catherine ran to her, "My dear, what happened to you!?"

"It's nothing Mrs. Schuyler, I got into an accident." Theodosia explained. Alexander Junior just stayed quiet. He knew nothing will shut her grandma up if she's worried.

"Oh no! Was Phillip there? Did he not protect you!?"

"He did! If he wasn't there, I wouldn't be here now."

"Let's get you inside. Shall I get someone to carry you in? You look like you're tired!" Catherine was going to rant and everyone knows it. Schuyler sighed in defeat. Alexander Junior threw his grandfather a plead of help but received a raised hand of not knowing what to do. Phillip appeared behind Theodosia. Quickly wrapped his hands around and picked her up.

"No Grandma. This girl is only allowed to be carried by me."

'Does he know that if Papa hear about this he could get killed?' Theodosia thought. But her thoughts lingered when he saw how confident Phillip was. Her mind trailed to the teasing looks and a hint of blush appeared. She threw her head on Phillip's shoulder to try to avoid others finding out. Instead he saw her father… who had a look completely saying I HEARD THAT. Theodosia would swear she could see fumes out of her father's head.

"Well okay, go inside. Let her rest." Catherine mentioned and helped open the door. With that, Theodosia was carried away, wondering what happened to her father.

Hamilton punched his best friend's arm lightly, "Let it go! Come on, it's rare for Phillip to be such a flirt."

"How long did you tease him, Angelica?" Eliza asked, looking over her shoulder to her eldest daughter. Angelica shook her head and gave an innocent smile.

"A quarter of the ride and he was like that till we arrived."

"Oh my…"

"He was flirting with Theodosia the whole ride!?" Burr shouted, more surprised that angry. Hamilton joked around and Eliza calmed him down. Took a while, but it worked. Burr can tell it's going to be a long summer.

* * *

 **Writer's Note:**

I'm still not good with this notes. So I don't often make them. But, thank you! As always, for the reviews and actually putting up with this fanfiction. Hope you guys like them. Sorry for injuring Theodosia… was planning to make something horrific than that, to be honest, but I gotta tone it down because of the next chapters. The next chapter… will be longer than my usual chapters. Just some relaxing stuff. The calm before the storm. I would love to hear more of the reviews, tell me what you think about the chapter, what you think of might or should happen in the future chapters. It always surprised me when some of you guys actually predicted what happened on the next chapter. So yeah… bye!


	19. Work

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 18: Work~**

Work. Work. Theodosia promised Hamilton that they would work first. Help Hamilton with his work until he's done so he can spend the rest of the summer just playing with the family. So it goes to a schedule. Wake up, get ready, breakfast, work, work, work, tea break, work, work, lunch, work, work, work, either skip or eat dinner, work, work, fall asleep. That was Burr and Hamilton's schedule.

Theodosia gotta keep her end of the promise as well but the two men let her off at the first few days… which ends today. Theodosia groaned as Phillip helped her into her room. She was placed in the room farthest from his, by Burr's request of course, and it was annoying. But Phillip was calm about it (at least externally). He was always there every morning to pick her up and send her to her room every night. This night however, both of them was whining internally.

"We have to, don't we?" Theodosia asked, just to make sure they really have to.

Phillip eyed her, "Well, we did promise. Come on, go to bed early, I'll pick you up in the morning."

"Do you have to go?" Theodosia asked sweetly, put her hands over Phillip's, rubbing the palm. Phillip picked the hand up, kissed the back of it and looked at her.

"I have to. It's either this or getting thrown out by your father-"

"In your grandparents' house?"

"-getting thrown out by your father in my grandparents' house." Phillip stated clearly. Then he was confused, "Why doesn't that sound weird?"

Theodosia laughed, "I don't know, you tell me."

Phillip smiled as he knew he made her laugh. Leaned in to kiss her forehead, "Good night Theodosia, I love you."

"Love you too Phillip… good night." Theodosia, agonizingly, closed the door to her room. Phillip stood there, made sure he heard the click of the lock then left for his own bedroom. God, they've been doing that for five days straight and Phillip still can't get used to leaving her.

* * *

So Phillip did fulfill his words, as always. Theodosia opened the door in the morning and Phillip was there, waiting. He carried her to the dining room. Theodosia sometimes wondered how much workout carrying her around gave Phillip. She ignored the thought as she had breakfast, noticing that Burr and Hamilton wasn't joining the breakfast this morning and the worried look in Eliza's face. Both Angelica, Eliza's daughter and Eliza's sister, cheered her up by planning out a day to play with the sun. It helped by Theodosia reassuring Eliza that she'll check up that the two workaholic get enough food. So after breakfast, Theodosia got up and Phillip helped her bake some cookies for the two men.

In the study room-

"Hamiltonnnnn you need to change this!" Burr showed the paper Hamilton wrote a few hours ago to him. Pointing out a specific sentence in which Hamilton reread.

"Why? It's fine like that!"

"The way you say it is not fine." Burr mentioned and put the paper back on Hamilton's desk. "I get what you're trying to say but alongside of speaking a plan, you're also trying to convince someone here."

"Ooh... I get it! Okay, changing it." Hamilton got to work fast. Changing and scribbling, trying out different words to allure the Congress for the votes. That's when Theodosia and Phillip came in. A few knocks and they opened the door.

"Hello… wow…" Theodosia's eyes landed on the mess. Papers everywhere. On the floor, on the desk, on the free chairs. A few ink stains that's bound to stay forever. She shook her head, that's just something she can't have around here. She looked up at Hamilton and Burr who tried to feign innocence.

"I'm sorry, is the sight surprising you?" Hamilton asked, slightly awkward.

"Not at all. Father, you are not the only one who gets this messy while drowning in work." Theodosia answered, looking sharply at Burr. Burr gave a weird look when he noticed that his daughter called Hamilton father instead of Mr. Hamilton. Before he had the time to question it, Theodosia put a plate of cookies and Phillip put the tray of tea cups and a teapot down. "Here, have some tea and cookies before continuing. Phillip and I'll arrange this."

Hamilton stood up frantically, "You don't need to it'll get-"

"No worries father. The way you arrange your papers, books and piles is actually the exact same copy of how Papa arrange his. So just trust me." Burr shot Hamilton a look as if saying 'Yup just trust her, she knows what she's doing.'

"…okay, thank you?" So Hamilton took five. Sat down next to Burr. Enjoying the cookies and tea as they watched their kids (Theodosia and Phillip are adults but will forever be kids in Hamilton and Burr's eyes) started gathering the papers, arranging them and actually putting them on place. It didn't take long until Theodosia found it hurt to stand and decided to sort the papers while Phillip picked them up from the floor. It also didn't take long until Theodosia felt guilt for making Phillip do the hardwork and decided to help. Of course, Phillip refused, choosing instead to hug her and twirl her carefully, earning her laugh.

"Oh God, don't flirt in front of your fathers, please?" Burr asked half-playful, half-annoyed while Hamilton merely chuckled. Both fathers continued eating their cookies and drinking tea. Phillip settled Theodosia back to her seat.

"Sorry Father, Papa." And they continued working.

"Wow…" was the only word Alexander was able to say when Theodosia and Phillip was finished. He had checked and she was right, it was the way he used to organized it. Hamilton turned and ran to Burr's presence, "Aaron Burr, sir, how do you consider moving into our household earlier than planned?"

"Ha! Keep dreaming Hamilton." Burr ignored Hamilton's grumbling and sat on his seat, as he continued his previous work. Hamilton wasn't giving up yet and went to Theodosia's side.

"Theodosia Burr, my sweet daughter-in-law, how do you consider moving into-"

"Get back to work Hamiltonnn!" Burr shouted playfully from his seat without even looking at Hamilton. Oh ho ho, Hamilton is not stealing his daughter yet. Hamilton continued to grumble as he went to his own seat and continued working.

The scene earned Phillip and Theodosia's laughter. After a few second of good laughter, Phillip took the pages and shared it with Theodosia. She exclaimed, "Well Phillip and I will double check the papers."

* * *

It was night. Was not midnight yet, but close. Yet Eliza was unable to sleep. She felt safe and sound in her husband's arms and usually, even though he's drowned in work, he would at least share some good night sleep with her. Guess she's sleeping alone tonight again, as she always does nowadays. Eliza lit her candle and sighed. She won't be able to go back to sleep now. So might as well take a tour and check if her sweet children is asleep. Eliza checked from the youngest to the oldest. Everyone was pretty much fast asleep, but she found Phillip's bedroom empty. Hamilton, Burr, Theodosia and Phillip skipped dinner today. She almost forgot about that. Eliza bet they're still in the study room. So she turned and made her way to the study room. As a polite lady that she is, Eliza knocked on the door. She was worried when she heard no answer and decided to let herself in.

"Oh… this is quiet a sight." Eliza giggled to herself. Hamilton was asleep on his own paperwork, quill still in his grip. Burr was on pretty much the same condition as Hamilton was. Phillip and Theodosia was on the couch. Theodosia on Phillip's lap while Phillip have one arm secured around her to make sure she doesn't fall. Her head rested on his chest while his head was just at the right height to rest on her head. On her lap was papers that Phillip and Theodosia had reviewed and gave idea to. Eliza sheepishly went to her husband's side, carefully took the quill and papers out of the way first then nudged him awake. She didn't want him to hurt her back sleeping like that after all. Hamilton's eyes fluttered opened and gazed at his beautiful wife.

"Eliza… what time is it?" Hamilton asked as he rubbed his eyes.

"Eleven. I was trying to find Phillip." Eliza pointed at their eldest son. It made Hamilton smiled at how close Theodosia and Phillip was. Eliza was about to make her way to wake them up but Hamilton stopped her by her hand. Pulled her back and let her fall into his lap, embracing her like how Phillip had embrace Theodosia.

"Oh? Looking _only_ for Phillip? What about me?" Alexander teased and Eliza felt warm. She felt like it was back to the first time they met, when he kept teasing her in a flirty way. Hamilton chuckled at how red Eliza blushed and kissed her forehead. Eliza smiled and stood up from his lap. Sure, not one of them liked the contact loss but they had to wake the others up to get them to sleep properly. He watched as her wife stood up from his lap and went to nudge Aaron Burr. Burr woke up with a daze, stretched a bit, thanked Eliza for waking him up and started heading to wake his daughter. He was now pretty much used to looking at how Phillip and Theodosia was. He reached out but was stopped by Phillip's slow, lazy hand. Phillip clearly just woke up as well. He had sleepy written all over his face.

"I'm sorry Mr. Burr but she is really tired. She was on fire when making new ideas to help the plans. May I at least carry her to her room?"

Burr, still half asleep, sighed. He patted Phillip's head and kissed Theodosia's forehead. "You may rest with her in your room. Her room is too far from here and both of you are very tired. Take good care of her, okay?"

"Of course sir." Phillip said and lazily stood up and carried Theodosia. He made sure he was fully awake before he started walking, didn't want Theodosia to fall off his hands. As he was about to leave he bid them farewell them, "Good night."

"Good night sweetheart." Eliza answered sweetly.

The second they left, Hamilton made his way to Burr and nudged his side, "I never thought those words will get out of your mouth, overprotective-father-Burr."

Burr didn't waste one second as he left and only raised his hand as he said, "Good night Alexander, Eliza."

The couple watched as Burr turned and disappeared in the long hallway. Hamilton wasted no second as he pulled Eliza from her waist and landed a sweet kiss on her lips. Eliza kissed back, smiling to it. It's been so long since she had this much attention from her husband. Hamilton slowly let go, let their forehead touched, "No 'good nights' for you though. I'll keep you awake till morning."

"Really Hamilton? I haven't even left for one minute." Burr complained and the lovebirds froze. Burr rolled his eyes, walked in, took his notebook which he forgot in the study room. Burr didn't say anything as he left for real. Then Alexander and Eliza giggled to each other. Alexander swooped his wife and carried her bridal style to their bedroom, showering her with kisses along the way.

* * *

Theodosia woke up inside Phillip's arms. Surely enough, it wasn't the first time she woke up like this, but it is her favorite time. She got a good look of him. How his hair falls, how he had his father's eyes, how his lips looked just right for her and how cute he is while he's asleep. Theodosia sighed in content, will she ever have enough of him? Phillip was nudged awake even though his girlfriend tried her best to not wake him up. He pulled her by the waist and drowned his face to her hair, mumbling, "Good morning beautiful."

Theodosia laughed and wrapped her arms around his, "Good morning handsome."

"Can we call in tired and rest for today?" Phillip groaned as he pulled Theodosia closer and closed his eyes. Theodosia hummed and played with the curls of his hair.

"You know we can't do that. We just started working yesterday. Plus, from what I can see, the work's almost done. Just need a little more touch-up." Theodosia answered. Phillip only groaned a bit louder and pulled her tighter. Now she really can't move out of his embrace. Which means, there's only one way to get out.

Phillip laughed out loud as he tears his hands away from Theodosia. The tickling fingers of her was attacking his stomach and he couldn't help but move away. He moved too far and actually fell off the bed with a loud thud. Theodosia waited, actually surprised that he fell off the bed. Phillip's head stuck out from the side of the bed, "You're going to pay for that…"

"I'm not ticklish." Theodosia stated, "You know that."

"I know, but there's another way you're gonna pay." Phillip remarked. Stood up and headed to her side of the bed and helped her stand up. He carried her up and whispered to her ear, "Just wait for it."

"NO FLIRTING EARLY IN THE MORNING PLEASE."

Oh, it's Angelica and Angelica. Both having the same sly mischievous smirk on their faces. Phillip let Theodosia hide in the bathroom, along to get ready. Made sure she's safe inside and looked at his aunt and sister.

"I never knew you were ticklish Phillip."

"…how long have you two been standing outside of my door?"

"Long enough to know you just want to spend the rest of the day lazing around with Theodosia instead of helping Pops."

"Are you guys going to get out of my room in a second or-"

"Be grateful. We're here to bring Miss Theodosia a new spare of clothes."

And Angelica was knocking on the bathroom door, mentioning the new clothes. Theodosia opened the door only enough for her hand to reach out and grab the clothes. Angelica went back to her stance and with a look from her aunt, started walking outside the room.

"Be careful though." Angelica, his sister, warned, "I can use that for blackmail."

Phillip groaned. He heard his aunt laughing along his sister as she closed the door.

* * *

It took them five days straight.

It was faster that Theodosia thought. She originally thought they're going to finished within two weeks. But since Burr, herself and Phillip helped out, Hamilton's head actually flooded with better ideas and made the plan too enticing to be left with no votes. Well they don't know for sure, but they're satisfied with the result. The second they finished it, Hamilton raised the last piece of paper to sunset ray, "It's done."

"We're finished?"

"…seriously?"

"That was faster than I thought."

"…ugh…" Burr groaned. His eyes lacked the enthuse as he stared at his daughter and his son-in-law, "Phillip, Theodosia, couldn't you at least go out of the room before showing us such hopeful looks for a date?"

"Papa!" Theodosia shouted in defense, holding Phillip's hand secretly as it was hidden by her long dress. Phillip felt like he won under the innocent smile.

"Nice one Burr." Hamilton praised, before proceeding to pass out on the chair from the lack of sleep. Burr laughed it off, said it was immature. But two steps closer to the sofa and Burr followed along to the dreamland. Eliza and Catherine walked in the study room. They were met with a weird scene. Passed out Hamilton on his seat, mouth hanging open snoring from how tired he was, his hands folded peacefully on his chest. Burr passed out on the sofa, face completely hidden as it faced the wall but his legs were hanging out of the sofa. Theodosia was sitting on Phillip's lap, dozing to a nap as Phillip just played with her hair.

"Hi Ma. Hi Grandma" Phillip called. Eliza waved back. She walked to a cabinet and pulled out two blanket she always kept there in case Hamilton fell asleep. Draped the blanket on her husband's shoulder and tucked it to make sure she covered as much as she can. Eliza was surprised when Hamilton's hand moved, meeting hers and pulled it out to give a kiss on the back of her hand.

"Thanks Eliza." Hamilton muttered, and slowly let got of her hand, "And I'm back to being dead."

Hamilton was quick to sleep again. Eliza rolled her eyes in playfulness but Phillip and Theodosia couldn't help but notice the smile on her face. After draping a blanket over Burr's figure, Eliza looked over Phillip and Theodosia, "You have a few more hours before dinner. Get some rest, okay?"

The couple nodded and went straight to a small nap.

It was a daze when Alexander Junior, James and little Eliza came knocking in the study room an hour later. Alexander Junior woke Theodosia and Phillip gently and sweetly, told them they should get ready for dinner. James politely poked his father awake. Little Eliza… well… she jumped to Burr's back shouting wake up.

"YOU SHOT HIM IN THE SIDE! YES, HE YIELDS!" Burr shouted as he woke up in a horrid way. Little Eliza sat on Burr's back, confused at the shouting. Phillip, Theodosia, James and Alexander Junior was just trying horribly to stifle their giggles while Hamilton was having none of it. He let all his laugh out.

"Did you really-" wheeze "remembered about" laugh "the duel!?"

By now Hamilton was on the floor with tears on his eyes. Burr drowned his face onto the sofa again. If he could become one with the sofa, he would. Alexander Junior came to the rescue as he picked up his little sister and went out of the room to tell Eliza what just happened. Phillip had his hand on Theodosia's waist to help her walk. She walked toward her father. "Is your back okay, Papa?"

Burr groaned, tried to stretch and a loud crack went out.

"That does not sound good." Phillip commented. Then their eyes landed on Hamilton who was now laughing hard once more, joking about how old they were getting. Phillip looked at Theodosia, "And my Pops' no better."

"Let's go?" Theodosia suggested.

With one final look at the worn out Burr and wheezing Hamilton, Phillip nodded, "Lezzgo."

How did dinner start with small talks about things to do for summer to debating about politics, Theodosia doesn't know. Usually, when Burr and Hamilton wanted to debate about politics, Eliza would handle it, avert it to topics their children can relate to. But now their children are grown up, they're with the grandparents who also talked about politics, and with the aunt who could run the whole government if she's given the chance to. Theodosia resorted to being silent as Schuyler, Angelica, Phillip, Catherine, Hamilton, Burr kept talking on and on. A few comments from the younger children once a while.

Theodosia leaned closer to Eliza, who was sitting next to her, equally silent. But unlike Theodosia, Eliza looked patient about all this. "Are they always like this?"

"Yes." Eliza answered, as a matter of fact. She could see the pouting looks growing on Theodosia's face and Eliza smiled, "Hey, want to rest with me this afternoon? Your time till now had been used up by these men."

Theodosia considered her options. Spend more time with Phillip or spare some sweet time with the woman she considered mother. Theodosia nodded, "A girl's break sounds delightful right now."

After dinner, Eliza and Theodosia quickly excused themselves. It earned them a few confused looks but they don't really care for now. Eliza sat down on a piano seat and Theodosia sat down on one of the chair. Eliza was a playing a sweet tune in which Theodosia closed her eyes and rested her limbs to. Swimming in the precious melody until she heard her mother said, "Thank you Theodosia."

"Mother?" Theodosia called, eyes open and looking at Eliza who continued playing the piano beautifully. Theodosia tilted her head, "I am sure I didn't do anything that deserve your 'thank you'"

"You did more than I can say. You are incredible Theodosia."

"Mother. You are incredible as well."

"Ha!" Eliza remarked, the tune she's playing turned upbeat. "I wish I could say that. All I can do is take care of my family."

"I have never met anyone as kind as you are. You forgive no matter what and raising kids to their best potential? Not everyone can do that, Mother. Overall, you thought of me… as your own daughter..." It took Theodosia a couple ragged breaths to realize she was crying. Tears pouring down as images of her late mother passed her mind. Going to shop, dancing in the winter's ball, getting sick, laying in bed, hiding coughs of blood. Memories of the past when Theodosia learned what she can't get in life.

"Oh Theodosia, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you cry." Eliza's words soothed her. Eliza stood up and went to sofa, sitting next to her daughter-in-law and hugged her. Eliza brushed her hair gently, "I know, I know. Shhh… your mother would be so proud of you."

Theodosia's tears cleared up and she returned the hug, "Mother, you are incredible."

"Again with that?"

"…I'm sorry." Theodosia voiced out. Her hands snaked to the pocket of her dress and pulled out a paper. She showed it to her, "I kinda sneak around and found this in father's papers."

Eliza's eyes widen with surprise, "What the- how did that get to Alexander's-"

"A plan to establish a private orphanage." Theodosia declared what's in the paper at the same time Eliza snatched it. She hid it in her own pocket and her lips were quivering, trying to find excuse. Theodosia cut her mother-in-law off as she rested her hand on Eliza's shoulder, "This is a brilliant idea Mother."

"It was just an idea." Eliza mouthed, looking away. Honestly, she thought she kept the paper out of anyone's reach. Maybe she got it mixed up when she was sorting the papers.

"How did you get this idea?" Theodosia asked, settling comfy on her seat, ready to listen.

Eliza sighed and knew there's no other way to avoid the question. So she answered, "I had always seen Alexander's eyes in other orphans. They are hurt, but they have passion. The only thing holding them back is the lack of knowledge, lack of environment… I was just inspired."

"Mother." Theodosia called, and she relished it, "I hope this plan become true."

Eliza smiled so wide. She had to bring her hands up to massage her cheeks. A few laughs from Theodosia and Eliza was inspired for another idea. "Well tell you what. To make up for the mood, let's go shopping."

"It's nine at night. Where are we going shopping, mother?"

"Only one place. Come on." And with that, they were off. Didn't even tell anyone else that they were departing. Eliza and Theodosia only grabbed their coats before running out of the mansion. Eliza brought her to various places. They walked around, the park, a lake, just simple mother-daughter talk combined with Phillip's cute moments that they remembered. Then they arrived in a crowded are, Eliza grabbed Theodosia's hand, "Theodosia, I have someone I want you to meet."

She brought Eliza to a shop. It. Was. Packed. Theodosia noticed that many girls were trying to make it inside and she noticed that it was a tailor shop. Beautiful dresses and gowns can be seen from the looking glass. Eliza sat on a bench outside the shop, she tapped on the free space next to her, "You don't mind waiting a bit, right?"

"It's fine." Theodosia answered and sat next to Eliza, tucking her coat and trying her best to ignore the chill.

"The shop is closing up in fifteen minutes."

"Then shouldn't we get inside?"

"No. No need to." Eliza answered. They waited and waited. They watched as ladies were struggling to get inside and the ones getting out are satisfied with what they have in their hands. Theodosia admired with the dresses designs she can see from outside. Eliza spent the time by humming sweet melody. Theodosia enjoyed it, remembered how her mother would hum when she's bored. After fifteen minutes, Theodosia heard the ladies whined as a young boy said apologies that the shop is closed. They walked away one by one. Eliza held Theodosia's hand, "Let's go."

Eliza stood in front of the closed door and knocked on it. A huge man opened the door, he clearly looked tired. He was muttering 'I'm sorry we're closed for the day.' Until his eyes landed on Eliza. He lit up, eyes warming and figure suddenly energetic, "Dearest Eliza! It's been so long!"

"Hi Hercules! How are you? I haven't visited for so long. Sorry about that." Eliza said. The man stepped away and let Theodosia and Eliza in. Theodosia was silent but followed along.

"I'm fine, and it's okay, you're also busy taking care of the kids. Lots of customers came and all, thank God you came at closing time." The man said and shared a friendly hug with Eliza. His attention turned to Theodosia, looking at her curiously, "Who's this?"

"Hercules, this is my daughter-in-law, Theodosia Burr." Eliza introduced her. She held Theodosia's shoulder and put her in front of him. Trapping her with nowhere to go. Suddenly the man's face turned surprised.

"Theodosia BURR!? AS IN AARON BURR'S DAUGHTER!? GIRL! YOU'RE GOING TO MARRY PHILLIP HAMILTON!?" He yelled, a mix of surprised, excitement and disbelief. Theodosia slightly whimpered at the sudden shouting and Eliza just sighed contently.

"…yes?" Theodosia voiced out her best.

"Hercules. You're scaring her." Theodosia glared at him. She put herself between Theodosia and the man. "Theodosia, this is Hercules Mulligan."

"Mr. Hercules Mulligan?" The name rings a bell in Theodosia's mind. Then she remembered, "Wait, Papa loves talking about you when you were in war."

"Ah of course."

"He complimented on saying you were an awesome spy and a really good friend."

"Really? It's rare compliment coming from Burr!" Mulligan laughed. He smiled and thanked Theodosia. He took a seat on his desk and looked at Eliza, "Well, what are you girls up to?"

"I wanted to buy her some casual evening gown so I came to the best tailor in the country." Eliza complimented. Theodosia looked at Eliza surprised. Considering how many ladies were outside the shop today.

"You're flattering me." Mulligan answered. Theodosia thought, there's no way he wanted to work overtime. But he stood up, walked to Theodosia with a measuring rope. He had to bend down to meet with Theodosia's eye level, "Well, can I go get your size?"

Theodosia nodded. Feeling safe near him. It was weird, he emitted the aura of an uncle or a brother. He nodded after he got Theodosia's approval and started working. Taking a note and pencil out. He moved to Theodosia and started taking measures. Along the way, asking Eliza about what happened. "How's Phillip by the way?"

"He's better than ever."

"Yeah? I received tons of letters from Alex just saying how proud he is to have a son. Well now he has seven!"

"Five sons and two daughters. Yes."

"Oh really?" Mulligan teased, raising pink rosy colors on Eliza's cheek. Theodosia stayed quiet, content to just listen as the adults speak.

"And now a daughter from Mr. Burr too." Eliza smiled and looked at Theodosia.

"They're both fathers now, Burr and Alex. Because their fathers left them early in their life, they tried their best to not do the same mistake. Which is probably why they're both so excited that they asked me to make so many children clothes." Mulligan said, and giggled at the end of the sentences.

"You made my children clothes?" Theodosia asked in surprise.

"Theodosia, your mother, and your mother-in-law here, loves my clothes so much. They're a special client of mine. The last dress I made for your mother was your dress… six years ago? Or was it seven? Said it's a dress for the Winter's Ball."

"You made that dress, Mr. Mulligan? Everyone was staring at me because of how beautiful that dress was. I love that dress!" Theodosia praised. She remembered that dress. The first dress she wore since she entered the timeline.

"Guess I did my job right, yes?" Mulligan smirked and Theodosia giggled at how funny he looked. They continued talking about what happened when they separated. After a few minutes, the measurements were all taken. Mulligan asked Theodosia to stand. Stared at her for a good five minutes while his hand was busy scribbling on the notes. When he's finished, he had a satisfied smile on his face and went to Eliza, "I'll get the gown finished in two days."

"Two days? I thought you were busy?"

"Never too busy for a friend I consider family."

"Thanks Hercules." Eliza smiled and gave him a hug. Theodosia would wonder how close they were. She turned around and walked away a few steps to look at the gowns through the looking glass. Eliza spied Theodosia's movements and was sure she was out of earshot. Eliza pulled Mulligan's sleeve and started whispering to him.

Theodosia felt the chill of the night run down her spine. She turned and called for Eliza. Mulligan was nodding and smiling with approval. Interest and happiness in his eyes. Theodosia frowned, felt like she's being trapped. Eliza just hummed in approval, said goodbyes to Mulligan and grabbed Theodosia. Started walking back to the mansion, singing a song all the way.

* * *

 **Writer's Note:**

I will never stop being bad at this notes. Well, I should at least say this. I have time in hand, but I don't have a lot of inspiration. So if you want a fanfiction from me, give me one to three words with a specific ship and I'll write it for you? I only do straight ships though. That's all I want to say... bye!


	20. Enough

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 19: Enough~**

Eliza had enough.

Eliza thought it would a be a nice summer day like before. Maybe walk around with the children or just lazily stroll with Hamilton or cooking with the other girls or play some songs with his parents. How wrong she was. Today, the kids woke them up, which is a pleasant surprise, but Angelica had a pretty annoyed face. Eliza wanted to cheer her eldest daughter up but instead Hamilton took charge. And Hamilton and Angelica fought. Well not fought, more like debated. It ends with a tie, Phillip being the tie breaker.

Usually when Hamilton and Angelica was debating like this, it would only last for a few hours before they got tired of it. This time, it dragged on way longer than that. Eliza was hoping it would get better for breakfast, but nope. Her father, Burr and Hamilton started talking about politics which somehow this time killed the mood for her. It's not that she hates her family talking about politics, but come on, it's summer break can't they give it a rest?

After that it just went frantic. Hamilton would debate with Angelica again and again. Something goes wrong. Eliza would panic. She would somehow walk in to Theodosia and Phillip making out while she was in a daze. If not Theodosia and Phillip, she would find her sister flirting with Thomas. The day just went worse each passing second. Well not 'worse', the correct word to describe the day for Eliza was 'annoying'.

Eliza decided, no walking around and strolling with others today. She'll be walking alone. She needed time to sort herself out.

Ha! Sorry girl, but it's raining.

Eliza grunted as she watched what could've been a nice evening passed with the rain. It's not storming, just raining. She sighed, she really wanted to play the piano now. Maybe it'll cheer her moods up. So Eliza stood up from the chair near the window and headed to the piano. She put her fingers on the key. A sweet small upbeat lovely song would be just ri-

"BUT POPS! YOU SAID TODAY THAT I COULD-"

"ANGELICA THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU COULD-"

"OH MY GOD ENOUGH." Eliza shouted and abandoned the piano. She stood between her husband and her eldest daughter. Hands crossed over her chest as she glared at Hamilton and Angelica. "Now you listen to me."

"Ma!" Angelica wanted to defend herself but Eliza turned to her and a strict glare was given. Phillip and Theodosia walked in, and as if called, pretty much everyone was in the room.

"Sweetheart, I said enough." Eliza said it softly and sweetly but anyone can feel the hint of annoyance in it. Eliza's right hand went to massage her forehead. "I'm sick of all this fighting."

"Eliza-" It was Hamilton's turn. He tried to pull her to his embrace and calm her down. But Eliza gave him her hand.

"Ya-pa-pa-pa-pa. I think you've said enough." She glared at Hamilton. Oh now they know they've pushed it too far. Eliza never snapped like this before. _At least not in this timeline,_ Theodosia thought _._ Theodosia, Phillip, and pretty much everyone there was a bit amused. They watched as Eliza lost her composure. "Now listen to what I say. What I say goes."

Everyone there thought Eliza was going to criticize every little things wrong about Hamilton and Angelica but they were wrong. Instead, Eliza showered each other about how much little things they did actually mattered to each other. How Hamilton lead the family, how Angelica brought sunshine to the family, how proud Hamilton was at all of his children, how Angelica was such a great older sister, the list goes on and on. By the time Eliza was done talking, Hamilton and Angelica attacked her with hugs. Hamilton pouring kisses to his wife while Angelica held her tight.

"Well, that ruins it." Phillip commented. Voice flat, if not a bit disappointed. Theodosia held in a small giggle. Everyone was a bit annoyed looking at the scene. Phillip pulled Angelica and Hamilton away from Eliza which resulted in Eliza's confusion. Phillip didn't bother with it. Instead he turned to his father and sister, "Both of you promised you won't go overboard."

"I'm sorry." Hamilton and Angelica said together but it wasn't enough to appease Phillip's annoyance. Hamilton and Angelica had their head held down, a bit guilty. But one close look and anyone can see the mischievous smile the father-daughter shared. Phillip was certainly the one in charge. Theodosia walked over to Eliza and locked arms with her, a smile wide on her face, while Eliza was still confused.

"I told you that both of you will go overboard. But what did you promise?"

"That we won't go overboard."

"Well now what have you done?"

"We've ruined the party for-"

Eliza's eyebrow furrowed, "Party?"

Theodosia and Phillip dropped their act first. Both of them went to Eliza and started singing.

 _Happy birthday to you._

Angelica and Hamilton soon followed along, the guilty expression from them long gone. Phillip Schuyler and the everybody started singing along. Everyone was now surrounding Eliza.

 _Happy birthday to you._

Angelica Church Schuyler, put out the birthday cake and walked to Eliza's front. A wide smile, a satisfied one on her face. Eliza's children surrounded her, within their hands a small box of presents. Hamilton walked over to Eliza's side and kissed her once more.

 _Happy birthday dear Eliza._

Then it was silent as Hamilton took the spotlight and happily smiled at his wife, "Happy birthday to you."

Eliza stared. So… it was all an act… since morning… Tears burst from her eyes and she hid her face on Hamilton's chest. Pure happiness and laughter accompanied the tears. Everyone laughed along with her. Small punched on Hamilton's chest as he laughed too. Eliza turned to a mess of laughter, "You got me. You guys got me good."

"Yeah?" Hamilton pulled her into his embrace and showered her with kisses, as if he could never get enough. "We've been planning this for weeks!"

"Sure did. I made the cake for you, based on Mama's recipe." Theodosia informed.

"Phillip and I decorated it!" Angelica pulled Phillip along. Then the kids walked in, all with presents in their hands. It was presents from others, they just gave it to their mother. The party went unexpectedly tame. She thought there would be more to take care of but everyone behaved. Phillip and Theodosia disappeared from the party, Eliza don't think Burr noticed. Hamilton wouldn't leave her side the whole night. Her kids were there, showering her with the same attention she had given her over the past years. She couldn't asked for more.

* * *

 **Writer's Note:**

Why did I make this chapter that has no real connection to the main plot?

Because Elizabeth Hamilton is a cinnamon roll.

That's why.

Thanks for reading and the reviews!


	21. Trouble

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 20: Trouble~**

That particular summer vacation, Phillip agreed, was the best summer vacation. He had fun with his family and Theodosia's family. Every new day, there's new things to try. He still remembered how delighted Theodosia was when Mulligan's designed dress came. She wore it that very day. It was also the day Phillip got a bit protective over Theodosia because other men were staring at her as they walked.

Now it's back to the normal life. Back from summer vacation. It took them a while to settle that it's not vacation time anymore. Burr and Hamilton walked to the office together, kind of a habit by now. The kids went back to school. Maria and Theodosia would come over to Hamilton's house and stay there after their work at the house is done. Eliza was happy to have the girls over since the kids are busy with school.

It was Phillip's pride for graduating from King's Collage. It's also his pride when the teachers would call him back sometimes just to show off his skills. So of course he would come. This time was no different. Phillip was called to share his experience in poems with a class. Angelica came with him, just out of boredom. She sat quietly and proudly in the classroom as Phillip talked. She could really see the trait her father had in her brother. They talk relentlessly about things they believe in.

But little did they know, it was a start of a disaster.

After the class, Angelica approached Phillip who was talking to the teacher. The teacher thanked him for sparing some of his time to come and Phillip gladly accepted the gratitude. After a few small talk, Angelica and Phillip was ready to go back home. Yet in the gate, they were stopped by a girl who had attended Phillip's class, "Mr. Phillip Hamilton?"

"That would be me. Yes?" Phillip stopped and looked at the girl. Angelica stopped as well, standing very still next to her brother. Angelica noticed happy the girl was that Phillip stopped for her.

"Can you help me with a poem assignment?"

"Of course." Phillip answered happily.

'Of course he wouldn't reject.' Angelica thought. Her brother was too kind for his own sakes. If he knew he could help, he'll come running to anyone who needs help.

Phillip shared a smile to the girl. "I think I can help out a student in need just tell me when and where."

"Really? Thank you very much! I'll tell you later then." And with that, the girl gave Phillip a small piece of paper that included her name, Molly, and an address in which Phillip assumed he would letter to. Phillip waved Molly goodbye with a sincere smile but Angelica stoned. After making sure Molly was walking away, Angelica looked at her fading figure with slight disgust.

"Brother, don't get too nice with her, okay?" Angelica warned. She took his arm and started walking home. Phillip, being dragged, started walking as well.

"What? Why?"

"She's not a good news." Angelica told him firmly. Phillip was confused, but decided not to ask anything more.

* * *

Some time passed. Not more than two or three days. Molly and Phillip had letter each other to talk about when to meet up for the poem assignment. Phillip had requested an open place which Molly kept rejecting. The reason being like _I can't focus on public places._

In the kitchen, watching Theodosia bake cookies and prepare tea for Jefferson and Madison's visit, Phillip sighed. Theodosia put the cups she needed to arrange down and took a seat in front of her man. A small break won't hurt. Phillip noticed her intention and gave a weak smile as he asked, "Hey, Theodosia, what do you think of Molly?"

"Molly?" Theodosia muttered the name. For sure, she had heard the name because Theodosia gave a familiar face. Theodosia thought about the words, "She's a good girl, good poet too."

"So-"

"But behind that fair façade, there's nothing good about her." She said deadpanned. Theodosia stopped her break and stood up. She went over to check the kettle. Phillip was confused and looked at Theodosia's figure from behind. First it was Angelica and now Theodosia as well.

"…what do you mean?"

"It's just a rumor so I can't really judge…" Theodosia started. "But people has been gossiping that… well…" Theodosia tried to find a word in her mind. A good one. She ended up with nothing so she said bluntly, "She's a slut."

Phillip was shocked when he heard that. That's two warning. He's going to have his guard up with this particular Molly girl. That's when Phillip noticed the weird atmosphere and realized that all this talking about another girl was making Theodosia jealous. Phillip laughed wholeheartedly, stood up from his seat and hugged Theodosia from behind, hands on her waist, head resting on her shoulder, "Miss Theodosia, are you jealous?"

Theodosia grumbled under her breath, "I am not. Thank you very much."

"You're pouting. You're so cute." Phillip noticed, rubbing his cheek to hers. Theodosia felt the tickle and gave a few laughter out.

"Mr. Phillip Hamilton you better let me go before this hot water catches you."

Phillip let go quickly and went back to his sea with a satisfied smile.

* * *

Phillip read the letter that just arrived. It was from Molly. It's been five days and she said it's better to do it in Phillip's house. She can focus there and Phillip will have all his books as references. Phillip was sure he hadn't consent to this but by the way she was writing it, it was clear Molly won't take a no as an answer.

Phillip folded the letter and went downstairs. It's about time for dinner. He was right. Eliza was setting up the dining table. He hurried down and started helping out as he called, "Ma?"

"What is it sweetheart?" Eliza asked, putting down plates.

"Molly is coming over, she needed help with her assignment. Is that okay?" Phillip asked. In his head, he already thought about what his mother might say. She would say 'Of course! Tell me when so I'll have some snacks for you two.' with a huge smile on her face. But this time it was different. Eliza was looking at him with a frown on her face.

"Molly?" Eliza called, seems like she also knows the name. "Sweetheart…"

"What is it Ma?" Phillip asked. He couldn't believe his ears, it was as if Eliza was pleading him for something. Eliza stopped. Her frown no more on her face. She just gave a sigh as she put down another plate.

"Don't get too close with her, okay?"

By then, Phillip was cautious. Angelica, Theodosia and her mother told him almost the same thing. His head started spinning silently. The three most precious women in his world are agreeing on something like Molly being someone he shouldn't get near. Phillip took a deep breath. _I'm going to be careful tomorrow._ He whispered to himself before calling his siblings and father to dinner.


	22. Congratulations

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 21: Congratulations~**

"Excuse me." The voice calling from outside the front door alarmed both Theodosia and Eliza. Theodosia offered to take it. Eliza let her. Eliza continued to try the new cookies recipe she and Theodosia found from a new cook book Hamilton and Burr bought for them. Theodosia took her apron off and walked toward the front door. She opened it.

The woman standing in front of her was younger than her. It's not that Theodosia could tell, she knew. There's numerous bad humors about the woman in front of her. None that can actually make her proud. Theodosia's not one to judge others by rumors or gossips or looks but really, she had nothing heard good about her other than that she's a good poet.

"Molly right?" Theodosia welcomed her with a smile. She moved a few steps to let her in, "Nice to meet you, I'm Theodosia Burr."

"Nice to meet you too. Where can I find Phillip?" Molly asked in a hurry, Theodosia wondered if anyone taught her basic manners of meeting a new person. She sighed it off and pointed upstairs.

"He's in the study room. Go upstairs, it's the door to the left." Theodosia said and Molly left without a thank you. Theodosia's stomach felt sick at the thought about Molly being alone with Phillip. But she trusted Phillip… she can trust Phillip.

It started off not well at all. Phillip was on the ladder to grab one of the higher shelves of books. He was searching for a really old romantic poem Hamilton had written for Eliza. Molly came in frantically. They exchanged hi and hello and suddenly Molly was starting to lick her lips as she asked, "Are you seriously dating her, Phillip?"

The room turned into a different atmosphere. Phillip didn't realize it of course. He was too busy trying to find the reference book but Molly had a sly sneaky smirk on her face. Phillip leaned against the ladder to see if he had picked out the right book as he answered, "Theodosia? Well yeah, I am dating her. I'm engaged to her in fact."

"Aaron Burr's daughter?" There was mock in her voice. It made Phillip snapped the book he was holding shut, slightly irritated at the way Molly said his father-in-law's name. Molly turned to walked toward the door and close it as she continued her mocking, "She had nothing going for her. Never made any achievements or anything. I bet she wouldn't even let you have _some."_

Phillip took a deep breath to calm himself, "Molly, Theodosia is-"

The ladder he was on rattled and Phillip jumped down from it. No seconds wasted, Molly trapped him between her body and the desk as she lustfully licked her lips. Phillip gulped. Molly traced her finger on his lips, "Don't say her name. I'll give you what she won't give you. Right here, right now."

"Molly, no. This is stupid. We're not supposed to do this."

"Ah, but you're not resisting, are you now?"

The words caught Phillip for shame. As Molly attacked his lips with hers, Phillip stood there. He didn't hold her but he didn't push her either. He was just there, oddly enjoying the feeling of the kiss. He knew it was wrong, but there's something keeping him there. Molly was about to pull back but Phillip pulled her, switched the position so she was the one pinned by him. Deepening the kiss instead. Molly's hands busied itself by trying to open Phillip's vest. He was dizzy with the pleasure.

Lord, how do you say no to this?

The door opened.

"Phillip? I brought cookies for-" Theodosia's voice stopped abruptly. The basket full of cookies dropped to the floor. It took a few second for Phillip to realize the scene that was happening in front of his eyes. He was half-dressed, pinning down another girl on his desk. He saw the tears on her eyes, running down her cheeks and dropping to the floor. Theodosia had both of her hand on her mouth, trying to stop the scream of pain and sadness as she ran out of the room, leaving the door open. Phillip quickly got off Molly and was about to run after his fiancée but only a few steps out of the door to stop him was his own little sister.

"Are you satisfied?" Angelica's voice, usually cheerful and warm, was stone cold.

"Angelica not now please." Phillip tried to chase after Theodosia, when he heard a loud voice of door closing from what sounds like the front door. Angelica held her hand, grabbed his shirt and pulled her brother back to face her.

"I would advise you not to chase after her. She needs her time to recover from looking at such a scene."

"…you knew?" Phillip raised an eyebrow. His heart was thumping so loud out of agony and guilt and he don't think he can focus on anything at all.

"I can tell a slut and a lady apart. Phillip, I told you she's not someone you want to get involved with." It was the first time Angelica ever glared at him. She used to be his small cute innocent little sister. The one who bring sunshine into his world when he's sad. Yet now he was standing before her, unable to speak, as he can only feel his sister's glare on him. Angelica spouted, "What? Cat got your tongue?"

Phillip gulped, "I get it, Angelica but-"

"No buts Phillip!" She raised her voice which caught Phillip off guard. "I love Theodosia as much as I love you as a brother. Both of your happiness is mine as well. Do you know how happy I was when she said to me, 'I'm glad he's mine.'?"

Phillip took a deep breath. Angelica walked one step closer, closing in any distance possible.

"She convinced father to take a break with us. She helped took care of Ma when she was sick, never once leaving her side. She helped our brothers study. With her just standing next to you, you instantly feel calm. I love how she was able to shape you into a better man than you already are. She changed our lives and you?" Angelica pointed her brother's heart, "You are choosing a rock over a diamond."

"Angelica." A sad attempt of redemption.

"Congratulations of making a fool of yourself brother."

"Angelica!"

"I'm kicking that bitch out of the house." The use of foul language Angelica presented today only pained Phillip's heart more. It was too painful to bear when Angelica walked passed him, shoulder high, whispering, "You better think of something to say next time you meet Theodosia."

Angelica Hamilton shooed Molly out of the house, didn't even bother to reason. She practically shouted to Molly to never return. Eliza went back from the market few seconds later and started cooking dinner. The mother noticed the foul mood her eldest daughter was in and the sad droopy mood her eldest son was in but she dared not say a word. The other kids were in their own room, waiting for Eliza to call them. Hamilton walked in the dining room to meet with an awkward silence, he was about to ask what happened when the doorbell rang. Hamilton opened the door and met face to face with Burr, "Mr. Burr! Sir! So glad to-"

"Not now Hamilton." Burr's voice was deep and disappointed, "Let me see Phillip."

"Is something the matter?" Hamilton frowned. Of all people in the world, he knew Burr to be the most patient of 'em all. Yet there he was, looking as if he'll explode either in rage or tears in a matter of seconds. Hamilton followed Burr, who had forcefully made his way in, to the dining room. Phillip's eyes met Burr and he glanced away. It only made Burr fumed.

"Phillip. What the fuck have you done?" Burr using foul language? That was the line for Hamilton. He kept his guard up, trying not to judge the situation too early.

"Mr. Burr! I-" Phillip tried to argue, but his voice was weak, with zero foundation.

"I used to come home every night with my sweet Theodosia cooking dinner for both of us. Imagine my surprise when I found her sleeping on the couch with tear-stained face!" Burr was going to break into tears. Thankfully, Hamilton stepped in. He knew Burr won't let his pride show his weak side to his own son-in-law.

"Phillip, what did you do?"

"Oh! I'll tell you what he's done, Pops!" Angelica shouted from her own seat. It caught Hamilton and Eliza by surprise and Phillip looked down to the floor. He was the one guilty on this case.

"Gentlemen." Eliza's stern tone calmed the room for a second, gaining everyone's attention. "Phillip, go to your room. Angelica, stay."

Phillip, with his own little hurt pride, stood up and walked to his room. Burr, Hamilton and Eliza sat on the dining room and listened to Angelica's story of what had happened that day. Burr was about to rage and run to punch Phillip if it wasn't for Eliza stopping him.

"Mr. Burr, do you really think Theodosia wants to see you hurting Phillip?"

"HE HURT MY DAUGHTER'S HEART."

"Angelica, sweetie, go to bed and wait a bit, okay?"

"Yes Ma." And with that, Angelica left the dining room and went to her room. Burr sat down again, trying to regain his composure. Hamilton, after being silent to absorb every single information, finally started talking.

"There's nothing we can do about this. This is their problem, if we're to get involved it will only make matters worse."

"I just-" Burr sighed, "Theodosia…"

"I'll talk to Phillip." Eliza reassured the father and tried to give him a relaxing smile. Even if it's just a tiny bit, it did calm him down. "Mr. Burr you should head back home before the weather worsen."

Eliza excused herself immediately after saying that. She let her husband accompany Burr to the front door. She watched as Hamilton gave promising words to his best friend and walked back to the dining room. Eliza head to Phillip's room and knocked. Phillip answered the door after 2 knocks. Eliza let herself in and closed the door, "Phillip."

"Ma?" Phillip called out, looked above the blanket he was hiding in. "Ma, I swear I didn't mean to-"

"Shh… calm down. Nothing can come out right if you're in a rush." Eliza walked to the bed and sat on the edge. As if in motion, Phillip hugged her and rested his head on her lap. Something they used to do when he was younger and he made a mistake. Eliza softly brushed his hair.

It took him a few minutes of crying and sobbing on her lap. Eliza was there with soothing words through each seconds. Afterwards, Eliza helped Phillip to sit and lean on the headboard, supported with his pillows. Phillip looked at his mother, "Ma… I didn't mean to cheat on her. Molly seduced me."

"Doesn't that mean you have a weak love toward our dearest Theodosia?"

"I-"

"If you truly love Theodosia, then the thought about cheating on her… shouldn't you easily pass that by?"

"…I was blinded by-"

"Yes, you were." It was a stern cold answer. It made Phillip unable to think of words. Eliza's smile was the only thing soothing him then. Eliza gently pinched her eldest son's cheek, "That's the keyword: 'were'. Now you know your mistakes. You can either fix it or let it be."

"But how do I fix it?" Phillip looked at his own hand that had held another girl before. He hated what he did. He hated himself for it. "Mr. Burr is mad at me and Theodosia would probably ignore me for the rest of her life. Angelica had probably disowned me by now."

It took a few seconds for Eliza to put together the words to bring Phillip's spirit back. "I wonder if I'm really talking to Alexander Hamilton's son. Because I know anyone who bears the Hamilton name would never give up on something they want. Sweetheart, you got something to prove and you got nothing to lose."

"…Ma…"

"Angelica will probably take some time to forgive you but Alexander and I already have. As long as you talk to Mr. Burr, he'll comply." Phillip looked at his mother. Thanked the God for giving her as a mother. He wouldn't want anyone else to fill in the position. He was lucky. He's going to face his problem. Make his whole family proud. Phillip finally gave Eliza a smile, which made her happy for she had succeeded her mission. Then it broke down as Phillip gave Eliza a thank you hug.

"I love her Ma… I love Theodosia." He confessed.

"I know, I know… shh… I know, I know." Eliza kept repeating and brushed his tears away. Phillip smiled and washed it away himself. Eliza stood up and offered her hand, "Come on now, let's go eat dinner before Alexander eats all your favorites."


	23. Mend

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 22: Mend~**

Phillip Hamilton did his best.

It took him five hours of pleading and accompanying his sister to lots of shops to mend their relationship. It might have also taken him a few of his money, but that's nothing compared to Angelica's affection. He would rather be poor than have tension between himself and Angelica.

Phillip reasoned and talked with Burr the day after he fixed his relationship with Angelica. He thought it was as if he was back on square one where he had to impress Burr and make sure he won't hurt Theodosia. But Burr listened well and gave Phillip a second chance. One more chance. Phillip still remember Burr glaring at him. And the words Burr had said… _If you break her heart one more time, you will never see the light of day._

After that, Phillip went to Theodosia's house every morning and every evening. Sometimes he would hang around to help his father-in-law. Sometimes he would help out Maria. But every single time, Theodosia would refuse to meet him. The reason was various; She's not feeling well, she need to go out, she just did this and she wanted to rest.

Phillip knocked on the door. Burr showed up. He asked if Theodosia's home. Burr said yes, looked inside, on the staircase. Phillip couldn't see but he's guessing Theodosia was there. Of course, It was the same thing today. Burr only shook his head in disappointment but Phillip wasn't ready to give up. He gave the bouquet of flowers that was meant for Theodosia to Burr and smiled widely. He just had to try next time. "Tell her I'll see her this evening. I'll be on my way now Mr. Burr."

"…you can call me father." Burr called out. Phillip's heart soar with excitement. Then Burr added, "Son."

Phillip left the house with a smile. He's one step closer to fix everything.

Theodosia took a peek from the staircase. Burr closed the door with the bouquet in his hand. He can tell it was specially ordered. It was too pretty to just be one of the bouquet they sell on the streets. Theodosia walked toward her father and took the bouquet. Burr caressed her hair, "He has been dying to meet you, angel. Until when are you going to ignore him?"

Surely enough, Theodosia wasn't trying to ignore him. She misses him, so much. She used to see him everyday, touch him, talk to him, feel him. Now she never got to see him other than the time when he left her house, when she gets to see his figure walking away. The thought of talking with him again only remind her of what she saw, making her think that she can easily be replaced by someone else. It wasn't a good feeling. Her stomach fell at the thought.

Theodosia didn't answer Burr's question. She walked away to put the bouquet in a vase. She put it next to a vase of single flowers that Phillip had given her the past one week. Theodosia stared at the two vases. She doesn't know for sure what flower it was and it made her wonder if the flowers had meanings. Theodosia looked at the nice weather outside. She's been itching to actually walk around. She sighed and turned to her father, "Papa, are you going out?"

"Not particularly. I have a day off today." Burr said. He looked at his daughter closely. He knew she tried her best, but everyone would think it's obvious she's having trouble sleeping. Her hair and clothes are not as tidy as they used to be and she have this clearly tired eyes. He tried to ignore it, slouched down and started reading the newspaper. Theodosia grabbed a coat and a basket.

"May I go to see the bookstore? There's a book I want to buy and I'll stop by the bakery to get some bread."

"Of course angel." Theodosia smiled cheerily to herself and was about to excuse herself before Burr continued, "But! Maria comes with you, okay?"

"Okay papa." That wasn't much of a condition to be honest. Theodosia went to the kitchen and found Maria just finished doing the dishes. She quickly told her about going out and Maria grabbed a coat and her own basket and was dragged by Theodosia away. Maria fixed the hat she wore because the wind blew on it.

"So… where are we going again?"

"The bookstore, then the bakery."

"Why?" Maria asked, linking her arm with Theodosia.

"The flowers." Theodosia said. Maria instantly remembered the flowers Theodosia had so fondly put in the vase carefully, as to not destroy its structure. If only Theodosia had seen her own face when she moved it. Theodosia continued, "I wanted to know what they mean. I think there's a book that compiles what flowers means."

Maria looked at Theodosia. She knew what the flowers meant. It had purple Hyacinth as the center. Purple Hyacinth means _I'm sorry, please forgive me._ The sides of Pink Camellia mean _I'm longing for you._ Then there's small red Chrysanthemum popping out that means _I love you._ She wanted to say this to Theodosia but instead chose to shut her mouth. It's been a week since Theodosia took a step outside the house, she doesn't want to be the reason Theodosia's running back inside. So she continued talking about general topics, avoiding the boys or love or flowers topic as best as she could.

* * *

Theodosia, in her mind, knew she's looking specifically for books about flower language. But her eyes looked at one of the new books and in her heart, she couldn't resist it. It was a compilation of poets from young authors. She wondered if Phillip's there, after all he had mentioned about writing for a book. She wondered if he included some love poets. Should she buy it just for chance? She's wondering how he's doing…

Theodosia's train of thought went to a slow pacing memory lane. Maria walked closer and saw Theodosia staring softly at the book. Then it clicked in her that she was probably thinking of Phillip. So in quick motion, Maria was ready to try and drive Theodosia's attention away from it.

But Maria failed to. The bookstore door opened harsh and loud, startling everyone inside. The man standing there was panting hard as if he had just run a thousand miles. The man standing there was Joseph Alston. Everyone was looking at him but he was only looking for one person. "Theodosia!"

"Joseph! How are-" he stopped Theodosia's greeting as he pulled her into a deep hug. Let her rest in his embrace as he tried his best to calm himself down. Theodosia can smell the wind in his clothes, he probably rode here as fast as he could and searched for her. Maria looked away, trying to give the two some privacy. She glared at everyone to look away as well which they did eventually. For a second, it was as if Theodosia felt she needed that. Needed to be in someone's arms just to hold her and let her know she's loved. She was just about to hug him back but Theodosia felt a tug in her heart. _This is wrong. Something is wrong. It doesn't feel right._ and was quickly reminded of Phillip once more. For God's sake, she's engaged to a man and another man is hugging her. Theodosia tried to back away, "Joseph, I can't breathe."

It was half lie, half truth. Alston took a few step back from her and let her catch her breath. He waited patiently. Theodosia stared, why couldn't she had fallen for a guy like Joseph? At least that way, she wouldn't have to go through all this trouble and heartbreaks. _Of course I can't. I already fell deep for Phillip Hamilton._

"Theodosia, I heard what Phillip did." _Of course you did._

"Just leave him already." _That escalated quickly._

"What did he ever do to you that you have to go through all of this!?" _Whoa there, too much. Too much._ Then she was on the verge of crying. Theodosia thought she had run out of tears to cry but she was proven wrong when her eyes started to blur. Her sobbing is uprising and Alston saw that. He pulled her into another hug, this time not as tight as before. Gentle arms surrounding her, "I won't hurt you. I'll be here for you. I can-"

"Theodosia!" Maria shouted, interrupting the scene and whatever Joseph was about to say. Theodosia was surprised but she didn't move from Joseph's embrace. Till Maria walked fast paces at her and said, "Phillip Hamilton confronted George Eacker on a duel."

"What!? When!? Where!?" It was impulse. She pushed Joseph and looked around for any kind of clue as an answer. Duel. Duel. Duel. Phillip Hamilton died in a duel with George Eacker. It's repeating itself. Her job is to prevent it. Can't let her feelings shadow it now. Theodosia pulled away from Alston's hug and looked over at Maria.

"Just few hours ago, everyone who went to watch a show in broadway witnessed it." Maria answered. Theodosia felt her breath caught in her throat. "And they said the seconds will be meeting in the pub later to negotiate the time and place."

She didn't even think. Her legs moved fast as she ran in her dress back to her house. Theodosia left her basket, Maria and Joseph behind. Maria didn't move from her spot. She had calm down, even breath. She won't be able to catch up to her no matter how fast she ran. Old age and all. Joseph leaned toward Maria, "I have no chance of getting her, do I?"

"Zero, young man. That girl is loyal to anyone she thinks as a family."

"How unfortunate." Alston sighed. His heart breaking as he did. His figure eyed the girl running to another man, "And here I thought it might be my chance to take her away."

Maria laughed as she picked up Theodosia's basket and started heading out to follow Theodosia's way, "You have to try harder than that."


	24. Second

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 23: Second~**

Theodosia basically burst the door open. Her body moving quickly to the place she last seen Burr. The living room. There he was, still reading the newspaper. Burr noticed his daughter's presence, her quick breathing and ragged figure. Theodosia called out, "Papa! Papa! Help Papa!"

He frowned, quickly got up from her chair and went over to her, "What is it angel?"

"Phillip." Theodosia called. For a second Burr prayed that he didn't do anything stupid. Theodosia took a deep breath and let it out. She tried to even her breath before continuing, "He's going to a duel."

Burr tried to piece it together. Trying to get more words out of his daughter but Theodosia was still trying to catch her breath. Perfect timing as Maria came from the door. She said, "It's true Mr. Burr, everyone's talking about it in the street."

Burr looked at his daughter. Agony, helpless, sadness all painted in her eyes. He was angry. Phillip had promised not to make the same mistake... yet right now he-

"Please Papa." Theodosia grasped his arms, looking at him with a plead. Burr lost his train of thoughts. She said, "Accompany me to talk to father."

Burr nodded, "Let's go."

* * *

It was a normal day for Hamilton. He had just eaten lunch alone with his wife. Now he's back to work, writing a new bill he wanted to pass, about slavery. He was doing it for Washington, Laurens and Peggy. Sure as the sun rise in the east that three of them would agree to the bill if they were here. He was thinking about how quiet it was. Till from afar he heard loud door opening. Minutes later, the door to his study room opened wide.

"Father!" Theodosia barged in. She would usually politely knock first but she doesn't care now. Burr followed behind her. Hamilton put his papers down, surprised at the sudden entrance. He put his quill down and waited a few seconds to let Theodosia breathe. Burr closed the door behind him.

"Theodosia? This is a surprise visit." He took in the hints as Burr looked at him seriously. Hamilton turned serious, "What's the matter?"

"Phillip is going to have a duel with George Eacker." Burr exclaimed, sitting down on one of the available chair.

"What?"

"Theodosia have a feeling he will talk to you for advice so we rushed here."

Hamilton closed his eyes. Phillip's no one to make rash decision. So he thought about everything that might lead up to the decision. He clapped his hands when he remembered, "The speech he made at fourth of July. Mr. George Eacker bad-mouthed me in that speech. He was your supporter after all Burr. Of course Phillip would be angry."

"That annoying speech?" Burr rolled his eyes. Maria had attended that event. She said it was bad and when she spoke about it, Burr couldn't agree less. "Nothing in that speech made me proud, and to think he supports me."

Theodosia grabbed Hamilton's hand. Her breaths still uneven but she looked up, "Please stop him father."

The door opened wide. Phillip came in storming. Head red with anger as his fist were balled up to white knuckles. "Pops! If you had only heard the shit-"

"…right on time." Burr commented. Hamilton and Burr stared at Phillip. Theodosia didn't. She looked at the ground. She's scared that if she looked at him, she would do something reckless. His previous action is still hurting her. Phillip found himself cornered under the gaze of both his father. Then his eyes found Theodosia's figure.

"Theo-" Phillip made his way toward her but was shielded away by Burr. Hamilton throw his face away, not knowing what to say or do. Theodosia acted as if he wasn't in the room, her eyes still looking at the floor.

"Theodosia, go talk with Eliza for now." Burr's voice was strict. The kind of tone he would use that made sure Theodosia know he's not accepting 'no' as an answer. Theodosia took her leave immediately and left Phillip wishing she had given him a glance before she left and close the door. She was about to head to where her mother-in-law was but decided to stay and eavesdropped instead. Burr turned to look at Phillip, Hamilton moving from his seat toward his own son as well. Burr held his son-in-law's side arms, "You, young man, are breaking my daughter's heart."

"I have no intention to." Phillip argued, "But his words lower my family's name, I will fight for it."

"And what if you become a goner!?" Burr raised his voice. Hamilton was quiet, something he unusually do but he had no words to say. Because for once, he didn't know which side to be on. Burr continued, "Are you going to let my Theodosia sorrowful for the rest of the years she's alive?"

It was like a hit on the gut for Phillip. His head imagining how Theodosia would cry if she ever saw him die so pathetically. Her crying because of his previous mistake was hard enough for him to take. His voice tried to argue but his tone wasn't sure, "I have no such intention to-"

Burr was about to try and convince him to stop. When suddenly an idea hit Theodosia. She opened the door forcefully. Phillip, Hamilton and Burr was surprised and eyed her, confused why she was there. Theodosia didn't care as she went to Phillip and said, "Second."

"Second?" The three man said in union of confusion.

"I will be your second."

It didn't even pass a second when Phillip's eyes furrowed, slightly in anger, "No. Theodosia, that's too much trouble. I don't want to risk you into this."

"I am going as your second, whether you like it or not." She said, full of confidence. Burr and Hamilton was too shocked to react. Never thought they would ever hear a woman be so confident. They wouldn't even believe that this girl was actually mad with how Theodosia is behaving. The three men stood, frozen, not knowing how to reply. Theodosia didn't falter a single bit as she stepped up and kissed her fiancée's cheek, bowed to her father-in-law and head outside. Phillip was about to run after her, to stop her, to apologize for his mistakes but Burr stopped him. His eyes as if saying 'I'll take care of this'.

After a few jog, Burr was able to catch up to his daughter. Theodosia have this proud smile on her face, not a single fear. It made Burr close his intention of convincing her to stop. He walked by her side and started asking, "What are you trying to do, angel?"

Theodosia giggled, even though she's going to do something rather dangerous, "I'm doing a Burr's family specialty."

"And that is?"

"Oh Papa?" She stopped and looked at him straight in the eyes, "Do you really think you're the only one good at convincing people?"

"…you have a point there." Burr was about to argue when he suddenly thought about how Theodosia was able to convince Martha Washington and Eliza Schuyler Hamilton to dance with their husband, Alexander Hamilton to take a break and even himself to help Alexander Hamilton. He shook his head while Theodosia started walking again. Burr jogged a few steps again and started talking again, "But angel, I thought you're mad at him?"

"Furiously mad Papa." Theodosia snapped. Burr wanted to take the time to retaliate but then his daughter showed such a kind smile, he didn't know what to say. Theodosia kept walking forward as she say, "But really, I can't stay mad at someone I love. Even if he decided to bring the engagement off, I will still do this. Not for him, but at least for father and mother."

"Theodosia, please-"

"Papa. Today. I will blow us all away." When he realized it, they were already at the front of the bar where George Eacker was waiting to negotiate the time and place. Burr followed his daughter to get inside but Theodosia stopped him, saying "You will be too intimidating Papa, he'll say I'm a weakling. Just wait here."

Theodosia walked in and the whole bar, previously loud, now silent. So silent that you can hear it if a needle dropped. They were mostly silent because it is rare to see someone so looked up to in the bar. Theodosia didn't bother with the gazes as she headed toward George Eacker's table. Eacker raised an eyebrow as she approached him. He laughed when she sat across him. Outside the bar, Burr watched, silently cracking his knuckles. Eacker greeted, "Miss Theodosia Burr. Soon to be Mrs. Theodosia Burr-Hamilton. What did I ever do that I am able to be in your presence?"

"I am here as Phillip Hamilton's second." Short, through, no bullshit talking.

"What!?" he laughed louder. The bar started continuing whatever they were doing.

"I see you come without any seconds though."

"Huh." George stared at her and got serious, "So, time and place?"

"Yeah…" She smiled then turned serious again, "No. Let's stop the duel here. I demand an apology from you to the Hamilton family."

George Eacker stared, not believing what he just heard. He laughed so hard and started pointing at her, "Never, sweet pie, and your words won't affect me."

"My words? Oh, maybe not. Sure." Theodosia smiled but her eyes eyed him gleefully, she looked like she knew what she's doing. Eacker hated the way he looked at her, as if she was in full control of how this conversation is going. And surely, she was. Theodosia started again, "But I am the daughter of Aaron Burr whom you support. I have a strong relationship with Hamilton family, as their eldest is my future husband. Did I mention? I have a very good relationship with the Washington family."

George Washington had resigned from the president position long before and he himself had died. But their family name remained very affecting. Eacker could only mutter the name, "The… Washington family."

Theodosia had a smug look on her face. She's not done just yet. "Thomas Jefferson and James Madison knows me since I was a child. They acknowledge me as an educated woman and had complimented me for being pure. Never telling a single lie."

"What are you trying to say?" Eacker was trying to be intimidating but his shaking voice failed him.

"What I am trying to say is. George Eacker, I can easily blackmail you. I can ruin your family's reputation using only my power. I don't even need to ask them to blackmail you. Just a simple gossiping with the girls is enough to ruin your reputation." Eacker looked like he had been cornered. Theodosia kept looking at him smugly. She acted surprised, "What? Are you trying to hide the fact that you have been sleeping with so many women?"

Eacker hissed. Theodosia glared at him menacingly, "You are a disgrace, George Eacker."

"And to think Phillip Hamilton is weaker than his own girlfriend." Eacker taunted, trying to hold onto his own little pride. He thought he had hit homerun when Theodosia didn't reply. He dared looked at her eyes, which was still smug. Eacker held his breath.

"Weaker?" Theodosia tested the words. She chuckled at the thought. Theodosia stood up from her seat, showing how she is in the upper position against him, "That's where you got it wrong. See, Mr. George Eacker, you are lucky. You get to talk this out with me and only write a letter to Phillip later. But really now, if Phillip decided to pick up a quill and write down what he thinks about you and spread them..."

Eacker stopped to consider, 'Shit. She is right.'

Phillip Hamilton had made a huge fan in the town. His poems are favorites. The books with his writings in it would sell out immediately. He had connection to very powerful and well-known people. His family have a huge reputation to be honest. He was considered to be working for the public even without his father's words. He had a voice everyone is willing to hear and will believe.

As if she could read minds, Theodosia stated, "Exactly. Your words are nothing compared to Phillip Hamilton's words."

"The fuck are you saying!?" Anger was taking control in Eacker's head. Around them, men were getting on their guard and outside Burr was trying to hold his urge to come in and hit Eacker's head.

"What you say in the speech is merely talking bad about someone, you didn't even think the speech all through. I daresay my father wasn't proud of that kind of speech to be for him. But Phillip's words? He has the trust, the foundation, the skills. What I'm saying is that you're just jealous of him."

"Shut your GODDAMN MOUTH!"

"I will not."

It happened like a snap. Eacker picked up a bottle, breaking it as it hit the table and threw the broken bottle and another glass of bottle at Theodosia. The bottle hit the side of her ribs and a few shard of the broken glass cuts through the arm part of her dress. Soon, blood trickled down her left arm, through the beautiful dress she was wearing. And she can feel the agonizing pain on her ribs as if it shifted and was put on the wrong position. Theodosia didn't care for now. She had work to do. Her eyes straight at him, not backing down a single bit about her statement. The people around them quickly grabbed George Eacker out of the room. The room got loud, gossiping about how George Eacker had just hurt a girl.

Burr ran inside, he wanted to take punch on Eacker as he passed him but his daughter was first priority. The second Eacker got out of her sight, Theodosia dropped to the floor and tears drooled from her eyes. The pain inside her was much more than she can bear, she couldn't feel much of her left arm. Then pain stings from her legs as she realized that some of the glass pieces pierces her dress and got to her legs. She can't feel her left arm and her legs and her ribs are no better. As people gathered around her, Theodosia felt heavier to breath and in a second, everything turned black.


	25. Forgiveness

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 24: Forgiveness~**

It had been around an hour since Theodosia and Burr left the house. Eliza caught on with the situation and prepared some snacks to calm the mood. Yet even all the effort she put in wasn't enough to calm Phillip down. He was trembling on his seat. He wanted to get up and run over to the place they were meeting. He wanted to grab her and tell her he would rather have her hate him than get her in trouble because of him. Hamilton and Eliza noticed how nervous Phillip were and they both struggled to find anything to say. Angelica walked in the room, ruffling her older brother's hair who she looked up to no matter what. "She'll be fine." Angelica whispered, "She's Theodosia."

Phillip calmed down a bit.

But disaster took turn for the worst when Burr came in frantically, holding a passed out, bleeding Theodosia in the house. Hamilton took control immediately as he asked Angelica to call for Dr. David Hosack, Eliza to get something for Theodosia and Phillip to show Burr a place he can set Theodosia down. Phillip showed Burr to his room instantly. It was the nearest. Angelica walked in with the doctor and the doctor asked everyone but Eliza and Angelica to stay and help him.

Then there was Burr, Phillip and Hamilton standing behind the door. Cold sweats trickling down their skins as they waited. Theodosia looked so pale in Burr's arms before and now Phillip couldn't mutter a single word. He felt weak on his knees so he reached for the wall and slumped on the floor. Hamilton pulled Burr to get some drink to hydrate and left Phillip alone, thought he might need it. Phillip silently thanked his father. He hugged his knees and waited.

He waited. And waited. And waited.

It feels like it's been hours since he waited there. Finally, the doctor came out with Eliza following behind him. Phillip stood up. Quickly asked, "How is she?"

"She'll be fine. The bruise on her ribs is nothing major as far as I'm concern. It'll take some time for her to get back to good shape and maybe she'll be sleeping for a few more days… she looked as if she hasn't slept for days. Anyway, when she wakes up, don't let her move too much. Make sure she eats normally and feels okay." Hosack explained to Phillip. Eliza was satisfied enough but Phillip wasn't and Hosack sensed it. He smiled softly at Phillip, being a close friend to Hamilton he knew much about Phillip. He proceeded, "If she still feels off call me over, I'll make some time."

Phillip retreated. Eliza stepped in, "Thank you."

Hosack went away to his next appointment, meeting Hamilton and Burr along the way. Phillip looked at his mother. Guilty, sad, morose, what emotion does he have on his face right now? Whatever it was made Eliza pulled him into a tight motherly hug as she brushed his hair, "She's fine. She's okay. She's alright."

Phillip took a deep breath and enjoyed the few sweet moments he can actually feel himself breathing. Then Eliza lets go to inform Hamilton and Burr more about the situation and Phillip walked into the room. He realized he should've prepared himself before he entered because once he opened the door his couldn't catch his breath.

Theodosia was laying on his bed, pale and covered in bandages. Angelica was holding a towel, brushing off some blood to not leave an obvious stain. Phillip tried to breath again, whispering to himself what Eliza said to him before. Without a word, he started helping Angelica. When they were finished, Phillip pushed a couch and set it near the bed and insisted on staying there. Eliza didn't have the heart to tore him away and decided it would be the only time she let him eat in his bedroom.

Over the course of dinner, Hamilton opted for Burr to stay over. Though Burr chose to return to his house for the night, grab some clothes for himself and Theodosia. So he left for the night. Hamilton and Eliza set off to sleep after checking on Phillip and Theodosia. Angelica helped tucked her siblings to sleep which is usually Phillip's job. But Phillip was a different story. No matter how much he shifted on the couch, he couldn't seem to fall asleep. So he took a quill and started writing whatever crosses his mind instead.

Day one. Phillip Hamilton barely slept. He slept after writing 5 pages of poets and woke up three hours later to a nightmare of actually losing Theodosia right in front of him. The sun hasn't shine and Phillip felt too insecure? Scared? Guilty? to fall asleep. So he took out a random book from his bookshelf. Went back to his couch and settled to make himself as comfortable as he could be. His hand held Theodosia's hand as the other one supported the book. Silently wishing the hand he's holding would hold his back.

Burr came in the evening with Hamilton after work. He brought clothes for himself to stay over and for Theodosia. Phillip was kicked out of his own room for Eliza and Angelica to change the bandages and for himself to finally take a bath and some food to eat. Burr and Hamilton was also feeling down because of Theodosia's situation but they knew Phillip's hurting the most for now. They tried to cheer him up. His brothers also tried to cheer him up. But the thing that actually slightly cheered him up was when he was finally allowed to get back into the room again to stay by Theodosia's side.

Day two. Phillip Hamilton had reread around four or five books from his bookshelf. Eliza baked him cookies and tea like what Theodosia used to make them. Phillip enjoyed it, a sweet rush of memory. Maria also came to visit. She wasn't able to bring anything, didn't know exactly what to bring. She only stayed to talk to Phillip. Mentioning to him that Theodosia had trouble sleeping and always knew when he visited her house. Sometimes Maria would hear her cry in her room, sometimes she would come to Maria for a small comfort. It made Phillip churned in guilt to know what his actions had done to her.

Maria didn't want to end it that way. She mentioned that now he knew his mistakes… he should learn from it. She recounted the good memories after. Recounting when Theodosia would come home and talk about her dates with him or when she would have that cute smile as she talked about his cheesy pick up lines. That night, Phillip was able to rest a bit easier.

Day three. Phillip Hamilton looked like a dying man. The other members of the family tried to take his mind away from Theodosia if only just a minute. But every talk would lead him back to thinking about Theodosia. After breakfast, lunch and dinner he rushed back to his room. He also left when Eliza and Angelica came in to change the clothes and bandages. Maria didn't visit, Burr mentioned it was because he asked her to clean the house a bit. She still sent her regards. By the end of the night Phillip had finished rereading more books than he expected to reread. Hamilton and Eliza checked in again before going back to sleep. Burr was the last to check, late at night. He was just going to bed after finishing some papers.

Phillip said his good night. Burr left. Phillip laid on his couch and stared at Theodosia once more. Her face was not pale anymore. It was showing more human colors now. Her hand also felt warmer than usual. The bandages don't show anymore stains of blood. He watched silently, suddenly missing her actions, her moving, her talking, her smiling… he missed her. Phillip reached out and held Theodosia's hand, slowly and clearly, drifted to sleep.

* * *

Theodosia woke up to silence. Not complete silence. She can hear soft winds and birds singing outside. She opened her eyes and the first thing she realized was that the room is familiar to her. As her eyes focused to the ceilings, she knew it was Phillip's room. The second thing she realized was that her left arm and legs is covered with bandages. As she shifted, she felt bandages under her clothes, around her stomach. It doesn't hurt as much anymore at least but she can feel a few stings because of how small wounds it was. The third thing she noticed was the warmth on her right hand. Doing her best, she moved to looked at who's holding her hand so tightly.

No surprise, it's Phillip Hamilton.

He was cute. Sleeping like a puppy basked in the morning sunshine, holding her hand while laying on the couch that he pushed to the side of the bed. Theodosia pulled her hand off of his slowly and caressed his hair. Remembering the feeling of how soft it was and how she loved the way it framed his face. She missed him, so much. It was a full week since of ignoring him, but God she missed him so. Theodosia wanted to nudge him awake when suddenly Hamilton opened the door loudly, startling Theodosia and forcing Phillip awake. Eliza walked in behind him, slightly annoyed about how her husband entered the room.

"Phillip!" Hamilton shouted. "George Eacker sent a letter-" Hamilton eyes then suddenly landed on Theodosia's. Then his face lit up as he ran out of the room and shouted, "AARON BURR! OUR DAUGHTER IS AWAKE."

From the distant Theodosia can hear the sound of his father's running and shouting, "SHE'S NOT YOUR DAUGHTER YET HAMILTON. SHE'S MINE!"

Theodosia laughed. Eliza smiled, went over to her and asked how she feels. Theodosia focused on Eliza as she was having the conversation. Suddenly Theodosia felt a hand caressing her cheek. She looked at Phillip who had his eyes on her, like he couldn't believe she's awake. Like he's praying deep inside that it's not a dream. Theodosia brought her right hand to put it over Phillip's, to make him sure that it was real. Phillip was about to lean in closer in attempt to kiss her when suddenly Burr barged into the room.

"THEODOSIA!"

"Papa, you don't need to shout. I am fine." Theodosia said, trying to hide her blush from Phillip's attempt. She was anticipating the kiss a bit too much. Phillip pulled back, sinking himself to the couch. Let Burr hog his daughter for now. Burr walked in a bit annoyed at how Theodosia replied.

"Fine? FINE!? Your left arm! Your legs!"

"It's just some little glass, it'll heal. It won't even leave that much of a scar." The daughter argued.

"AND YOUR RIBS!? DID YOU KNOW IT WAS PURPLE!? PURPLE FOR GOD'S SAKE!"

Hamilton cut in, "Wait. Wait. Wait. What do you mean her ribs?"

"Didn't David tell you? That motherfucking George Eacker also send a bottle flying to her ribs and when he examined her, it was real purple."

"BURR LET'S GO KILL SOME ASS!"

And for a second it legit feels like American Revolution as Burr and Hamilton, obvious veteran, looked like they're back on the game. Eliza was the one who stopped them, stepped in front of the two men, "None of that gentlemen."

"But!" Burr and Hamilton contradict simultaneously.

"I am fine, Papa, Father. You worry too much." Theodosia smiled and let Burr hugged her, wincing a bit from the tightness. Let him knew she's still there and that she'll be fine. Hamilton, still pouting, hugged Eliza from behind, too relieved to even stand on his own two feet. Eliza chuckled and brushed the frame of her husband's face with her hand.

"Well, there's that, and there's this. I'll have you glad to know that Mr. George Eacker just sent us an apology letter about the speech and asked for forgiveness. Which means, the duel doesn't have to happen." Hamilton said, showing the letter he hid in his vest. Eliza smiled proudly at Theodosia. It was enough to make Theodosia's day. Eliza spared one look at her eldest son who haven't spoken a word at all. A few thoughts processed in her mind and she decided they needed some time together alone.

"I'll go grab some tea for you dear. Would you like that?" Eliza asked and let go of Hamilton's hand, slightly tugging it before leaving.

"Yes please." Theodosia answered, can't wait to have some relaxing tea. Eliza left to make the tea. Hamilton caught Phillip's urge to get Theodosia's attention only to himself. He got the small hint form Eliza, chuckled and walked toward Theodosia, caressing his daughter-in-law's hair.

"Thank you for your hard work, sweet Theodosia, you make me proud." Hamilton praised then he went to the other side of the bed where Burr was sitting down. Hamilton whispered something to Burr's ears. It was so hushed that even though Theodosia was close, she couldn't really hear them. Phillip didn't spare them any attention, his eyes fixated on his girl. Burr suddenly shot a pouting look at Hamilton.

"Come on Burr, we both know they need it." Hamilton pouted back. Theodosia raised an eyebrow about how the two grown-up men suddenly looked like two young friend pouting at each other. Burr sighed and gave in, took her right hand and kissed it.

"Hamilton and I have to attend a meeting now, you should rest some more, okay?" He said as he made his way out, next to Hamilton.

"Of course. Goodbye Papa, goodbye Father." Theodosia waved them goodbye. Burr and Hamilton gave her one last smile before closing the door leaving Phillip and her alone in the room. It was awkward. Sooo awkward. Phillip was the first one to move. His hand still intertwined with her right hand. Phillip's free hand took her chin and pushed it slowly and gently to let her eyes meet his. He didn't mean to do anything. He was just curious to see if he's dreaming or if it's real. Theodosia's alive. She's in his bed and she's okay. He sighed in relief.

"How long was I out?" Theodosia asked, slightly unsure of how to start the conversation.

"Well, for others it's three days. For me, eternity."

And Theodosia laughed. Phillip watched and listened carefully. He hadn't been hearing her laugh since she caught him with Molly. He missed her.

"You never ceases to amuse me Theodosia Burr." He said and let their forehead touched. He closed his eyes and felt the warmth. "Theodosia Burr, you scare me so much but I love you too much."

"What? Scares you? Really? Me?" Theodosia had said it jokingly. The scene that she saw a few days ago flashed in her mind and she felt her voice caught on her throat. Why is she so easily talking to him now when he cheated on her before? Theodosia may never know the answer to that. What she knew was that it's painful to recall those memories.

"Yes. You don't know how scared I was when you were brought here." he said, slightly raising his voice. His hand that was on her chin slowly went to her waist. Both of his hand tightened on her. Theodosia can feel how anxious he was just by his touch. As if he was clutching onto her. As if he lets go, she'll be hurting more and eventually disappear.

"Phillip…" Theodosia called patiently, trying to hide her own pain inside.

"Theodosia Burr. I am in love with you. You pretty much have my heart in the palm of your hand. I'm sorry. I was stupid. Angelica warned me, you warned me, Ma warned me. But I let her in anyway. I never thought she would seduce me and I hated myself every second of it but I couldn't really stop. Angelica got mad at me, saying I'm throwing a diamond to pick up a mere rock. I knew I was stupid. I knew you won't forgive me but-"

"Sshhh, Phillip Hamilton, talk less." Suddenly the pain she felt evaporated. He apologized and it was enough for her. She wants him back. Theodosia struggled her right hand off his. It didn't work. And her left hand was still hurting too. So she gave a few tugging and Phillip lets go. She took his chin and pulled him closer slowly and surely wiped away the sorry tears from his cheek. Lips connected. Phillip knew the answer. 'I forgive you.' Theodosia couldn't help but leave the kiss lingering. They don't want to go intimate because they knew Eliza will be coming with tea any seconds but they were staring at each other. They want to taste more of the lips and want to engulf in each other's warmth.

Eliza fake a cough, "Am I bothering a scene?" She was standing between a glaring Burr and smirking Hamilton.

"No such thing Mother."

"Lying is a no-no Theodosia. I'll leave the tea here." Theodosia and Phillip blushed red. Fighting every urges in their body to just slip inside the blanket and hide from everyone in the world. Eliza noticed it, smiled at them, "I'll leave you two alone then." Then she closed the door.

Theodosia smiled and Phillip took the chance to prove how much he loves her.

* * *

 **Writer's Note:**

I've been trying to update every 2 or 3 days. But I'm about to have a busy weekend... so I won't be updating for another 4 to 5 days. Just to tell you guys. Also, thanks for the reviews! As always, I appreciate them, kept me going. So... bye!


	26. Proposal

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 25: Proposal~**

The cheating and the duel passed long. Forgiving each other and giving another chance made Theodosia and Phillip's relationship grew stronger. Eliza and Hamilton watched as their eldest son thrived to become a better man. He had a job in the government despite the young age. Phillip never used his father's name. He's rising to the top with his own marks. Burr watched as Theodosia grew better, smarter, more beautiful. He would watch as she studies more. She wanted to make a change, maybe work, but Burr went against it. So she settled to learn more by herself.

God, how much they've grown over the past two years after the problem.

Well here's a new one.

Phillip tugged his tie. He's ready. He's supposed to be ready. He's telling himself he's ready… He's not ready. It should be a normal date. A walk in the park. But it's different this time. Theodosia turned twenty last month. Since then, all Phillip was thinking about was the proposal. He yearned to be officially hers and for her to be called his. He already had the rings, specially made. He had asked for Burr's blessing and his own family's blessing. He could still remember Angelica running around in excitement and playing the piano so energetically. The next step was to actually propose.

Phillip wanted to catch Theodosia off-guard. He wanted it to be a surprise. So he didn't set up anything special because he knew Theodosia would be suspicious right away. Now he's standing in front of Burr's front door. His usual clothing, rings in his pocket, safely tucked. He gulped, all he need is his confidence.

Burr opened the door.

"Good evening father."

"Good evening son." Burr smiled. He wanted to laugh because Phillip looked absolutely nervous. Thank God he was the one who opened the door. He motioned Phillip to come closer. Phillip took one step forward. Burr smiled gently and helped fixed the crooked tie. "Calm down or she'll read you like an open book."

"I'm sorry father. It's just that I've been waiting this day since forever."

"I know." Burr finished fixing the tie, gave him a reassuring hold at the shoulder, "But if you don't come down, it won't go as you plan."

Breath in. Breath out. He thanked his father. But then Burr stepped aside and descending down the stair was the most gorgeous, beautiful, astounding, eye-catching, breathtaking- Oh God words won't be able to describe it best- woman Phillip had ever seen. Theodosia smiled happily at the face Phillip made.

"Do you like it?" She asked. "Mr. Mulligan made the dress! I just got it today."

Oh… Phillip wasn't paying attention to the dress… She's so beautiful she could be fit in a potato sack and Phillip still would call her a Goddess. Burr lightly smacked Phillip's back. It returned him to reality. His eyes met with Theodosia's concerned one. He regained his posture, "Beautiful! We can always count on Mr. Mulligan for making clothes."

"Yes." Theodosia smiled, "No wonder Mama and Mother loves his clothes so much."

Phillip grinned. The smile he sought for so long. He couldn't help but to lean in and land a small kiss on those lips. Theodosia was surprised, but kissed him back soon.

Burr cleared his throat.

Theodosia and Phillip took a step away and blush.

Burr sighed. "Get going! I don't want to see my kids flirting in front of me now."

Phillip and Theodosia shared a laugh as they walked out. Theodosia easily slipped her arm to loop around Phillip's. Phillip glanced at Theodosia. They've been having evening walks every Saturday together. Almost like a weekly thing. They know the paths around with their eyes closed even. From Theodosia's house, to the park, to a small café for a drink, to a lake near the park and back to Theodosia's house.

Phillip took a deep breath. There's a lot of chances to propose.

Just gotta-

"Hey Phillip? You okay? You're awfully quiet." Theodosia asked. Phillip gulped. Gotta hide his nervousness but sometimes Theodosia reads him like an open book with huge letters.

"I'm fine. I was just… thinking."

"Mind sharing?" They turned. A few steps to the park. Phillip hummed. He calmed down a bit. He shook his head.

"No. Not for now."

Theodosia gave a smirk, "Are you keeping a secret from me?"

"Yes. Yes I am." Phillip answered bluntly. He knew too well Theodosia wouldn't want him to lie to her. Theodosia gave a face as if she wanted to ask what it was. But she decided against it and kept her lips tight to a smile. Phillip laughed, "Don't worry. It's not another girl if you're thinking about that."

"Well I'll have you know I might have a boy on the side." Theodosia answered. The sarcasm hinted on both of their voices was so obvious.

"OH NO! Now I will forever be known as a murderer!"

"Too far Phillip. Don't kill for me." Theodosia pulled him to sit next to her on the park bench but both of them have a sweet smile on their face. Theodosia let her head rest on Phillip's chest. Phillip looked at the sun. It's nearing sunset. He could propose now. Or wait later for near the lake. Now. Now. Now. He gotta do it now or Theodosia will find out as soon as they talk in the café.

So the sun started setting. Giving orange streaks in the sky. Theodosia let her eyes flutter open and gave a breath of relief from the beauty. Phillip put his hand over Theodosia's. One deep breath.

"Hey Theo?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I know."

"I love you so much."

"I love you too."

"I might actually kill for you."

"I wouldn't let you though."

"Hey Theo?"

"Yeah?"

Phillip moved and Theodosia followed along. She shifted back. Phillip went down to the ground on one knee. He didn't pull out the ring but the surprise expression on Theodosia's face let him know she have a feeling of where this is going.

"I won't be able to pamper you with lots of expensive stuff but I can give you my heart. I won't be able to give you the whole world but I can give you mine. I won't be able to always be there for you… But I'll try. And I'll love you till my dying breath. So much so that if I ever love another girl, it would only be our daughter."

Theodosia gasped his name.

"I know I hurt you. I'm still confused on how you forgive me. I know a lot of thing happened in the past. And I won't be able to assure you that you'll have a happy life with me. There'll be trials and errors. But it'll make me the happiest man alive if you're the one I share my life with."

Theodosia called his name sweetly.

"And!"

"Okay. Anymore than that and I might not want let you go back home."

"Then don't let me go. I know for certain I'll never let you go."

Phillip pulled out the box from his pocket and Theodosia was astounded. The beautiful carving of diamond in the ring was breathless to look at. Phillip would argue though, the one wearing it took his breath away. Phillip let Theodosia ponder for a while before he asked, "Give me the honor of becoming your husband?"

"I don't hear a please." Theodosia smiled, trying to grin, but the happy tears in her eyes betrayed her. Phillip giggled at the scene. He smiled and cleared his throat.

"Theodosia Burr. Please give me the most delightful honor of becoming your husband."

Theodosia attacked Phillip's lips and they both fell to the ground. Theodosia on top of Phillip. Her hands around Phillip's next and Phillip's arms around Theodosia's waist. His hand still holding onto the box tight. He could care less about how dirty their clothes were because they fell right to the grass. It feels so light, so loving. The kiss they shared felt so real.

Theodosia pulled back and lingered. But her eyes looked at him. "Yes. I do. Yes! Yes! Yes! God I love you so much." And she was back to kissing him.

Phillip smiled to the kiss and pressed her arm a bit. Theodosia get the sense and pulled back. Phillip voiced out, "I still need to put the ring on."

Theodosia laughed along but she moved. She didn't stand up. She chose to stay seated on his lap and Phillip had a feeling she's comfortable as so. He took a ring out and slid it on her finger. Theodosia took another one and slid it on his finger. They both stared at the rings. Both for different reasons. Theodosia stared at how beautiful it was, wondering just how long it took to make it, pondering how much Phillip went through just to get it. Phillip was staring at how official it felt. They're now official… well not really… but it's one step closer and he couldn't be any happier.

They both raised the rings to the sunset.

Phillip nuzzled his nose to Theodosia's shoulder. Theodosia was content and rested her head on his shoulder. They stayed like that for a few minutes. Not a word exchanged. Just holding each other on the grass. Their evening walks forgotten completely.

It took a howl of wind and Theodosia shivering that it's cold for both of them to move. Phillip instinctively put his coat around hers and put his hand on her shoulder to hold her close. They were just going out of the garden when Theodosia was going to the direction of her house but Phillip held her.

"Come on." He smiled and led them to another direction. "Everyone's waiting at my home."


	27. Party

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 26: Party~**

They were rushed.

The wedding was rushed. Everyone wanted Theodosia and Phillip to get married soon so they decided the date to be a week since Phillip proposed. Which means, Theodosia and Phillip pulled all-nighters to prepare the wedding in one week.

It was a miracle.

Angelica Baker Schuyler helped. She helped a lot. She helped the whole arrangements of the room and the designs. She was there every single step of the way for the couple. Eliza, Hamilton and Burr acted more of an emotional support. The kids… well… they had their fun teasing around though one is missing. Angelica Hamilton hadn't gone back yet.

Then it was finally the day. The big day. The day they were waiting for. When Theodosia and Phillip would exchange their vows and promises. On this particular morning, the girls were busy in the bride's room, aka Theodosia's bedroom. Theodosia gave a small twirl.

"Theodosia… you're so pretty…" Angelica praised. She grabbed her younger sister's waist and whispered that she's proud to have Theodosia as a part of the family. Eliza and Angelica looked at Theodosia thoroughly. It's a few hours before the wedding ceremony. Since Theodosia was so busy with the wedding arrangements, she actually had only tried the dress on now.

To say it's not pretty would be a lie… but it's not really fitting. Theodosia felt like she could do much better than this but this is what she gets for now. Plus, the main event is not the dress, it's her marrying Phillip. Phillip… huh… Theodosia wondered if he's freaking out in his own room right now. Because to be honest, Theodosia's really nervous- excited, but nervous.

The door suddenly opened. Theodosia laughed happily at the pair that came in.

Angelica Hamilton and Hercules Mulligan walking in with a proud smile. Theodosia shouted out, "Mr. Mulligan! Angelica!"

"Heya kiddo. How's my girl? Oh wait, you're a woman now. Why do you grow so fast?" Mulligan greeted. He gave her soft kisses on the cheek. He observed the tidy make up on Theodosia's face and gave an approving look. He took one step back, looked at the dress and made made a horrid face. "What is that hideous dress!? My God, this thing should be illegal."

"It's the best we could find around here." Theodosia shrugged her shoulder. Mulligan shook his head. Eliza and Angelica just gave a knowing smirk.

"No girl of mine will be wearing that kind of dress in my watch. Here's a preset from Eliza, Angelica and I… I'm sure your mother would also want this." He muttered the last bit. He took out a pile of white fabric out of its cover. It was beautiful. The perfect figure and detailed flowers that was simple and popped out nicely. It was just at the right length for Theodosia. She couldn't keep her gaze from it.

"It's beautiful… I can't wear this… it's too beautiful…" Theodosia muttered under her breath.

"Oh no." Angelica finally talked. A strict tone on her voice. She walked up and pulled Theodosia to start helping her out of the so called hideous dress. "Uncle Herc had me stayed with him for one month uptown just for this wedding gown. It's made for you."

Eliza and Angelica giggled at how Angelica seemed to act. Eliza took out a box from Theodosia-doesn't-know-where. She opened it in front of Theodosia to reveal white heels. Eliza added, "And here's Hamilton siblings' present."

"Okay now. Get out Uncle Herc. We're dressing her up." The words were accompanied by Angelica and Eliza pushing Mulligan out of the room. Mulligan shouted something along the line of 'You look beautiful Theodosia!' and left the room. Theodosia let the girls took control. She put on the new gown and the heels. Eliza fixed a bit of her make up and Angelica tidied the hair-do. After nodding along wih the other girls, Theodosia gave one more twirl.

"Excuse me?" Burr walked in the room just as Theodosia finished a twirl. He gaped. No words came out of his mouth but for a second he remembered his wedding with his late wife. Their daughter looked so beautiful Burr couldn't help but have a swell of pride on his chest. The two Angelica and Eliza smiled happily and left the room. Theodosia sat down and Burr approached her. "Hey Angel. You look… angelic."

"Really Papa?" Theodosia raised an eyebrow but laughed along.

"Of course." Burr gave a small kiss on her forehead. Something he did every time he could when Theodosia was a child. Burr gave a reassuring smile and took out a box. Theodosia eyed it suspiciously but before she got the chance to question it, Burr took out a necklace. A small pair of angel wings in silver, detailed and kept safely. Burr explained, "Your mother, her mother, her grandmother and probably those before them wore it as well. Now, I'm sure she wants you to wear it now."

"Thank you Papa." Theodosia let Burr put the necklace on its place.

"Beautiful Angel." Burr choked on his words and his eyes started to mirror. Theodosia immediately turned to give her father a hug.

"Papa, don't cry. You have to walk me down the aisle in a few minutes."

"That Phillip Hamilton is one lucky son."

"He's your son-in-law now."

"I know, I know."

"I love you Papa."

"I love you too Angel."

* * *

The vows… went well? If you exclude the I'm-crying-because-they're-finally-married crowd and I'm-so-happy-I'm-gonna-drink-the-night-away crowd, everything actually went well. Everyone who they invited actually came and the church were full. Phillip and Theodosia shared their first kiss as husband and wife. Phillip couldn't forget how beautiful Theodosia was as she walked the aisle or how hard his heartbeat was when they both said their vows or how satisfied Theodosia looked after their kiss or how happy the crowd was when Phillip picked Theodosia up and brought her down the aisle. Theodosia remembered everything clearly, but all she could think about was how much she actually loves the man she's married to.

Thennn there's the party. Oh boy… the party.

"Papa? Hey? Stop crying already." Theodosia begged. Burr had been crying with pride and happiness the whole time after the vow. He would stop but then he looked at Theodosia and Phillip slow-dancing and he's crying again. Maria shook her head and helped Theodosia.

"I'll take care of him, you go have your fun." Maria said. Theodosia was about to refuse and take care of her own father but Maria wouldn't let her. So she complied and went to find her husband. She found him. Phillip was dancing with Eliza, happily with his tiny dancer feet. Theodosia didn't have the heart to break them up so she stood, watching gleefully from the sidelines. That is… until her new father came to hug her from behind, crying rivers of tears.

"Really father, you too?" Theodosia asked, giving a spare of handkerchief she had kept. Angelica came from behind and tried to peel Hamilton off of her sister-in-law.

"I know! I couldn't help it! I'm so proud of you bearing my name as well." Hamilton cried as he accepted the handkerchief and sneezed into it. Theodosia looked at Burr crying a few steps behind and back to Hamilton, she wondered why they were once enemy when they're pretty much mirrors of each other.

"Pops, you can stop crying now." Angelica plead and tried to get Hamilton away from Theodosia so he doesn't ruin the gown. Hamilton, with heavy heart, walked away and stopped crying. His eyes landed on Jefferson, Madison and Mulligan and an idea popped into his head. Hamilton brushed his tears away, took a shot, and walked over.

"Perfect timing! Mr. Jefferson, Mr. Madison, Hercules I will need your help."

The three man stared at Hamilton. He was wearing a sly smirk and that simply translates to bad news. Jefferson cocked his head, "With what?"

"With restraining Burr." Hamilton stated. The three men stared in confusion but Hamilton didn't let up. He rolled his eyes and playfully said, "Just be there when I ask for back-up."

And he walked away, leaving the three men guard up. They watched as Hamilton approached Burr. He took another shot before going over. The first thing that pops into Jefferson's and Madison's head was _this is going to be trouble_. Burr groaned as he watched Theodosia slow dancing with Phillip again. There's two kind of young adults in the crowd, one that actually ships the two and was saying things like "God, finally. They're married. I can rest in peace now" and there's another crowd that actually liked Phillip or Theodosia separately they're the ones saying things like "Really Theodosia? Out of all people? Really?" or "Goddammit Phillip, I'm so far better than her!"

Burr hissed at one the rude young adult, screaming, "Hey leave her to it."

Hamilton laughed and slung a hand over Burr's shoulder. He gave a glass to Burr and a glass for his own. He pointed at the slow dancing Theodosia and Phillip before saying to Burr, "There's a million things they haven't done, Burr. Just you wait."

"Me? Sure, I am willing to wait for it. But you?" Burr took the glass but didn't drink. He cocked the eyebrow. Hamilton shrugged his shoulder.

"True. I never had your instinct for self-preservation. Which now that I think about it, Phillip doesn't have too." He said in a playful tone that made Burr cautious.

"Why is your tone so-" His eyes landed on the slow dancing couple again. They were whispering and Burr doesn't know for sure but he felt like Phillip whispered something along the line of, _Tonight will be a hell of a night for you, my dearest Theodosia._ Theodosia blushed red and gave a playful smack on her husband's chest, whispering back _Sshhh Phillip, not in the middle of the crowd._

Burr felt his rage bubbling from the thought someone deflowering her little angel and he shouted, "PHILLIP HAMILTON!"

"THOMAS! JAMES! HERC! REQUESTING BACK-UP! I REPEAT! REQUESTING BACK-UP!" Hamilton shouted as he took hold of Burr and tried his best to stop him. Thomas started laughing hard while James put his drink down. Both of them enjoying the scene of Hamilton trying to hold off Burr to no satisfying result. Mulligan had also jumped in to help.

"I can't believe he actually did it." Madison sighed as he started walking side by side with Jefferson to Hamilton.

"Oh come on, you know this would happen." Jefferson teased. Eliza watched as the three men tried to calm Burr down. It took a few while before he finally ceases and decided he needed more drink for this night to pass. Jefferson, Madison and Hamilton agreed to that easily. Mulligan opted to stay not drunk instead. Eliza, turned to look at her son and asked him to come to her for a bit. He left Theodosia's side after kissing her hand.

"Yes Ma?"

Eliza pulled her son and whispered to him, "Be gentle for her first time okay, sweetheart?"

Phillip Hamilton went red from his toes to the end of his hairs. Eliza simply giggled to herself as she walked away to talk with the other mothers around. Phillip was still frozen on his spot when Theodosia decided to surprise him from the back. Phillip jumped and turned around to see at Theodosia laughing to herself in amusement. He looked at her, trying his best not to think of her pass through the clothes she's wearing. But the more he tried to look away, the more he wants to stay and look. Theodosia realized the sudden intimate glance from Phillip and frowned, "Phillip? What's wrong?"

Phillip panicked. "Uhhhh… uhhh… Everything-" he continued in his head, 'is wrong! I wanna prove how much I love you right now but I need to wait till tonight and I don't think I can hold back anymore. Oh my God Theodosia…'

"Everything is wrong?" Theodosia asked, taken back.

"No! Perfect! Everything is perfect!" Yeah sure, nice safe Phillip. "I mean… you are perfect… I- I…"

Theodosia smirked, okay now that's enough teasing. She took a step closer, closing their distance and tiptoed to reach him. He couldn't stop looking at her eyes and then her lips. Theodosia licked her lips as she whispered to him, "You'll have me all to yourself tonight Phillip Hamilton."

"May I?" the sudden familiar voice cut through the music. Theodosia was surprised when she turned around and found Alston offering his hand. Phillip smiled and kissed her cheek. Theodosia turned to confused. She's pretty sure she didn't invite him and Joseph read her expression, "Thank you for the invitation, Mr. Hamilton."

"Phillip?"

"Well, now that you're officially mine, I don't have to get jealous over any other men. Plus, I think Joseph is actually a good guy." The way Phillip said it was proud. Nothing else could shake it. Theodosia found a smile crept up as she accepted Alston's hand. Phillip let her go as he head to dance with Angelica. Theodosia let herself gracefully pulled into another dance. Alston stared at her eyes, the orbs he fell in love with. The woman he thought about every now and then, is now another man's wife. He lost his chance.

"To think, I would go back here only to find you're married to Phillip Hamilton." Alston sighed. He lost. Better move on than think about it too hard. He heard Theodosia giggled and he wished he could hear it every day.

"Sorry about that. I knew how much you cared about me."

"Huh? How did you-"

"It was kinda obvious, Joseph." Alston blushed as Theodosia stated it. They kept talking throughout the dance. Alston trying to memorize every single beautiful thing about Theodosia. Every single thing he could take. As the song ends, Alston pulled her hand for a kiss.

"I love you. But truly, Hamilton is the one that fills your life. Well, if he did anything wrong, you can come to me. I'll be by your side as soon as I can."

Theodosia couldn't help but give a helpless smile. Phillip walked up to her, wanting to retrieve his own wife. Before letting Phillip pulled her away, Theodosia curtsey as she said, "Maybe in another timeline."

Leaving Alston confused. Yeah, maybe in another timeline. She ended up marrying Joseph, having his child. Maybe in a mother timeline, she's happily married with him, having a honeymoon somewhere far and snuggle and kiss with him. But this is not that timeline. In this timeline, she's Phillip's. That's perfectly fine for her.

Phillip pulled her to the nearest table. Pulled the chair out to let Theodosia sit down first, before sitting down himself. After he sat down, Phillip hand her a glass of champagne and held her free hand. Squeezing it tight as if he can't believe the wedding is really happening. Burr walked up to the small stage and asked for everyone's attention. Everyone settled down their own seat. Taking a small time to get organized.

"Ugh… I really shouldn't be doing this while I'm half drunk like this… I blame Hamilton for it." Burr reached for his glass and started a small speech. The previous statement resulted on small laughter and chuckles in the room. Burr shook his head a bit as he looked at his daughter, "But I daresay, I'm the proudest father alive right now."

"WANNA BET ON THAT!?" Hamilton's drunken voice only made the Burr grunted and the crowd to laugh once more. Eliza's laughter died a bit faster than anyone else as she pulled her husband back to his seat. Phillip slapped his forehead comically while Theodosia laughed easily.

Burr hiccupped before shouting back, "Not now Hamilton!"

"I'LL GO ANYTIME!" The crowd laughs. Eliza put her husband on his place and Burr finally continued with his speech.

"Nevertheless, I know Phillip will make my daughter happy. He had proven it in many spectacular ways. I know how much my daughter loves him back. Going as far as to do stupid things. These two are birds of a feather." Burr glared a bit, earning a few awkward smiles from a few listeners, "Theodosia, my sweet angel, I can imagine clearly how your mother would act right now. She'll be smiling at you proudly and teasing me enough to cry. She'll hold you tight and whisper to me that our daughter is now all grown up. I trust you'll be happy with Phillip. At the end of this, my angel, I wish for your happiness from the deepest part of my heart."

Theodosia promised herself she wasn't going to cry but, damn it, her eyes are not listening. She went up from her seat, left her husband, and hugged her father in front of the crowd. Phillip smiled happily while the crowd goes aweeeee. Theodosia whispered to her father, "Thank you Papa."

"Anything for my Angel."

* * *

It shouldn't be such a hard thing to do. Leaving the party for their honeymoon shouldn't be such a hard thing to do. But a few minutes before that, Eliza and Maria had gotten drunk. Probably a few suggestions from the men. But when the women get drunk, the men had to take control. Even though they were pretty drunk themselves.

Eliza was teasing Phillip the whole minutes before they were supposed to go. 'You better *hiccup* be gentle on *hiccup* her Sweetheart or *hiccup* Burr will *hiccup*'. Burr continued Eliza's sentence 'I will KILL youuuuu'. That from his mother and the dead warning from Burr was enough to make Phillip blushing red in embarrassment and nervousness. Angelica, being a responsible younger sister, took Eliza and Burr off Phillip and wished him well.

Theodosia on the other hand, Maria didn't want to let her go. She was crying 'My daughter is now grown up! No! Don't leave me Theodosiaaaaa, whyyyyy?' while Hamilton on her other side was hugging her tight, 'My new daughter! I have another daughter! Sweet Jesus, I'm so proud! LoOk At mY Daughter PeoPlE! ShE sO Prettyyyy!'. The one who saved Theodosia was Alston. Becoming her substitute of being crushed to near death by two adults. He wished her farewell and a happy life with Phillip which Theodosia thanked him for as she headed to the carriage.

"Crazy drunk parents?" Phillip asked as Theodosia finally joined him in the carriage.

"Crazy drunk parents."

"I wonder how they survived war if they get drunk like that."

"Maybe war started at noon. The hangover for that kind of drunk won't be nice."

Theodosia and Phillip shared a small laugh. Phillip opened his arms and Theodosia easily slipped between, resting her head on his shoulder as Phillip peppered it with kisses. She pulled her hand to wrap around her shoulder and gently brushes over it. She looked out to the midnight sky from the window, "Hey Phillip?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."


	28. Announcement

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 27: Announcement~**

1803\. The Hamilton-Burr House.

There's a small gathering going on. In 1 year of their marriage, the Hamilton-Burr surely got well. Phillip Hamilton was accepted in the political party and worked his ass off. Theodosia Burr Hamilton wasn't allowed to work much, but she does show up in parties to entertain and helped with her husband's work from time to time. They're equals. They're each other's partner. Phillip is nothing with Theodosia and it works the other way around.

Now back to the small gathering.

Hamilton and Eliza was sitting warmly tucked on the sofa of the living room. Maria was sitting on the piano seat alone. Burr on the rocking chair next to the sofa. Next to the piano seat are two empty chairs, meant for the late guests. There was only one more single sofa and that's where Phillip was seated, with Theodosia on his lap. The marriage only gave them permission to hold each other more freely. The other adults have been trying to make Theodosia and Phillip spit out the reason they're there but the young couple wouldn't budge so they averted to other topics.

The door bell rang. Theodosia stood up and said, "I'll go get it." But Phillip still walked behind her anyways. She opened the door and Jefferson and Madison smiled back. Theodosia and Phillip greeted them and took their coat to hang. "Mr. Jefferson! Mr. Madison! Welcome, please come in."

"Thank you sweetheart." Jefferson said and Madison just smiled back. They walked into the living room and was a bit surprised to find all the other adults there. Theodosia and Phillip followed behind, but didn't enter the living room. They stood in front of each other in the small hallway, staring at each other, a goofy smile on their face.

"You ready?" Phillip asked. Theodosia was too excited she only nodded. Phillip smiled back and kissed her lips, trying to calm his wife down. He quickly and easily picked her up bridal style and walked into the living room where the others are waiting.

"Mr. Hamilton put me down!" Theodosia requesting, giggling along the way. She put her hands around Phillip's neck to hold on. Phillip just laughed.

"Of course Mrs. Hamilton." Phillip said and sat down the previous sofa where Theodosia rested easily on his lap.

"It feels weird because we're usually the ones being called that." Hamilton mentioned. Sitting down and holding Eliza's hand as they were sitting on the couch. Madison and Jefferson on the empty chairs and settled themselves. Burr nodded along as he relaxed on his rocking chair. Theodosia and Phillip had that giddy surprising smile on their face.

"Well now. Papa, father and mother." Theodosia started with a teasing note, "Eight months from now you need to get used to being called 'Grandpa and Grandma.'"

"Of course whatever-" Then it hit Hamilton hard, "WHAT!?"

"IS IT A BOY OR A GIRL?" Eliza and Maria jumped from her seat. Running over to Theodosia immediately and hugging her, touching her stomach and was in full on mother mode again. Meanwhile Burr and Hamilton started tearing up to cry. Phillip chuckled to himself as he let go of Theodosia and let her sit down. He grabbed some handkerchief for his fathers. Madison and Jefferson was oddly whispering to each other in a low voice which caught Burr's attention.

"Thomas Jefferson. James Madison. You better not be scheming to kidnap our grandchild." Burr glared.

"We haven't even finished planning and we're already caught." Jefferson grunted, completely annoyed. Phillip raised an eyebrow, wondering why Jefferson and Madison wanted to steal anything at all. Better yet, how Burr knew that's exactly what they were thinking. Hamilton, on the other hand, was getting a tad bit emotional.

"Awe~ Burr~ Did you really say 'our grandchild'?" He teased. Madison and Jefferson caught on, sharing the same teasing look. Phillip tried to hold in the laughter.

"Well Phillip is my son as well now. So yes. Our."

"Burr is softening." Madison sniffed.

"Overprotective-stern Burr is softening." Jefferson sniffed along. Burr glared at the three men.

"Sorry, but the word 'grandchild' is incorrect." Phillip mentioned. The whole room went quiet, despite Theodosia's quite giggle.

"What do you mean?" The four men in the room asked in chorus.

Eliza was the first one to realize what it means. Muttering a small "No way." And then Maria followed with that knowing look.

"It's grandchildren. We're having twins." Theodosia dropped the bomb and the whole party went havoc.

"Jefferson. You have the older one and I'll have the younger one."

"JEFFERSON! MADISON! YOU ARE NOT TAKING OUR KIDS!"

"We're totally getting drunk tonight."

"I'm going knit them some pairing clothes. I bet Hercules will be happy to hear this!"

"What gender though? It doesn't matter. Still double the fun."

Phillip and Theodosia found themselves sighing. A bit glad they didn't invite anymore people because just this six 'adults' are enough trouble. Theodosia was sober till the end. She watched as Burr and Hamilton got Phillip to drink with them and Jefferson and Madison went along. Maria and Eliza was planning clothes and was writing letters for Mulligan but eventually, they also got into drinking. Theodosia remembered all the adults just sleeping where they found it comfortable in the living room. Jefferson's head on Madison's leg on the carpet. Maria on the desk still in the middle of writing a drunk letter to Mulligan. Eliza and Hamilton happily snuggling in the large sofa. Burr hugging the bottle as he fell asleep in the rocking chair. Phillip was half-drunk. Theodosia helped him to their bedroom and slept easily when she could hear his snoring.

Angelica and Mulligan was furious they didn't get invited.

* * *

Phillip couldn't contain his anxious. He's scared, afraid. He wants to be in the room for her but Theodosia specifically asked him to wait outside instead. Eliza, Angelica and Maria is inside, supporting her while Burr, Hamilton and Phillip himself was outside. Burr was almost as panicky as Phillip was. Hamilton was silent, nervous silent. The three men had gone through this scene, as Eliza and Hamilton have so many children but that doesn't make them any less nervous. Phillip started spouting nonsense cases that might happen, worrying too much and Hamilton and Burr was on edge waiting. After a few good hours, suddenly it was quiet.

There was no more of Theodosia's screaming or Angelica and Eliza's reassuring voices. It was just simply babies cry. Phillip was frozen on his spot. When the door opened for him, he looked at his wife. She was sweating, slightly pale and holding two small babies. His babies. Their babies. Someone to continue Hamilton's name. Phillip walked to her side, where Angelica stepped away. Burr and Hamilton watched from the door frame.

"Look Phillip, he has your eyes." Theodosia called, "While this pretty one have your nose."

Phillip couldn't believe it. His hands slightly trembling, he's a bit scared to hold his own babies. The miracle of life made by the woman he loved the most. Theodosia smiled at him and gave the one with his eyes to him. Phillip couldn't believe how small he was. The boy has his eyes but he surely has her mother's nose. Sweet little life in his arms… Phillip couldn't hold back the tears. Phillip gave a kiss on his wife's, the mother of his babies, forehead. He didn't care she was sweating at all. She smiled at the fondness. Phillip gently brushed the small baby hand saying, "Look at how tiny they are."

"They're gonna be big one day Phillip."

"I know… I can't wait." Phillip said. One more kiss on her cheek. Theodosia just giggled and played with the younger baby in her arm. Eliza walked closer with Hamilton and Burr.

"Not to ruin the moment." Angelica popped in, "But what are their names?"

Phillip and Theodosia giggled. Phillip was the first one to answer. Holding the older baby in his arm, he gently brushed the baby's face, "This one's Aaron Hamilton."

Theodosia just smiled, "And this young one is Alexander Hamilton."

Theodosia and Phillip remembered their fathers crying buckets that day.

* * *

5 months later and geez nobody can get their hands off the babies. They're way too cute. But today, Theodosia was needed at a small party to play the piano and Phillip was called for a small meeting. Their schedule overlapped. They called the first person who would never be able to say no to babysit their babies.

Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr.

The two grandparents ran like thunder despite their age. Excited to play with their grandchildren, brought new toys the just bought a few days ago. They listened eagerly to Theodosia explaining the baby's schedule. They said their goodbyes to the parents and followed the schedule Theodosia told them… maybe spoiling their grandchildren a bit as well.

But then it was night. A few more minutes before Theodosia and Phillip will be back and the babies started crying loudly and the grandpas panicked. They figured if they shouted for Theodosia or Phillip the babies will cry louder. So gently, Burr picked Alexander up and Hamilton picked Aaron. Rocking the twins gently as how they used to rock Theodosia and Phillip. But even all that effort, it only decreased the crying, not stop it.

"Okay. What do we do?" Burr asked, completely out of ideas.

"Oh! Remember that song Eliza and Theodosia used to sing for Theodosia and Phillip?"

On time, Phillip arrived home. He was confused, usually Theodosia would be waiting for him but now she was nowhere in sight. So he put his bag down on his study room and walked to his sons' room. He caught Theodosia peeking from the gap of the door. Phillip pulled her around the waist and kissed her ear, "Hey Theodosia, I'm home. What are-"

Theodosia silenced him and pointed at their father with their babies.

 _Dear Alexander what to say to you?_

 _You have his eyes. You have your grandpa's name._

 _When you came into the world, you cried and it broke my heart._

 _We're dedicating every day to you._

 _Domestic life, was never quiet our style._

 _When you smile, you knock me out, I fall apart._

 _And I thought I was so smart._

 _You will come of age with our young nation._

 _We'll bleed and fight for you, we'll make it right for you._

 _If we lay a strong enough foundation._

 _We'll pass it on to you, we'll give the world to you._

 _And you'll blow us all away…_

 _Someday, someday._

 _Yeah, you'll blow us all away!_

 _Someday, someday._

 _Oooh Aaron, when you smile I am undone. My son!_

 _Look at our son!_

 _Pride is not the word I'm looking for._

 _There is so much more inside me now._

 _Oooh Aaron, you outshine the morning sun. My son!_

 _When you smile, I fall apart._

 _And I thought I was so smart._

 _My father wasn't around._

 _My father wasn't around._

 _I swear that I'll be around for you._

 _I'll do whatever it takes._

 _I'll make a million mistakes._

 _I'll make the world safe and sound for you…_

"Mama and Papa used to sing that to me when I'm little." Theodosia sighed and leaned on Phillip. He accepted her weight on him and hugged her tighter.

"Ma loved playing that tune in the piano and Mrs. Burr was the one who made the lyrics. That's what Pops said when I asked him where the song came from." Phillip confessed. Theodosia turned to look at him. When she saw that there's no way Phillip lied about that, Theodosia came to hug him once more. Of course Eliza and her mother would make such a beautiful tune. If only there was an award to the best of wives and best of women, Eliza and her mother would compete for it each year. While Theodosia was basking in the sweet memories of her later mother though, Phillip noticed something else.

"Theodosia, my dear…" Phillip called hesitantly, he rested his head on her shoulder, "Is it my feeling or are you warmer?"


	29. Sorrow

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 28: Sorrow~**

It started as a worrying simple question. Only that. Phillip asked if Theodosia was feeling warmer and she collapsed on the spot. Fortunately, her body falling forward to Phillip. Fortunately, Alexander and Aaron already fell asleep. Fortunately, Burr and Hamilton called the doctor right on time. Fortunately… she's still alive.

It may be a bit of a stretch. Ever since then, Theodosia haven't left the house. Not because she couldn't but because Phillip begged her not to. She could still walk around but Phillip feared because sometimes she would feel sudden chill. Really, all Theodosia been doing these past weeks were taking care of the twins. She doesn't hate it of course.

For Theodosia, watching her twins were a blessing. Alexander was very much like Phillip's father. He's a curious little baby. Always wanting to hold something or hum something. He had the largest smile and he have Phillip's set of eyes. He's younger than Aaron and to be honest Theodosia can imagine Aaron trying to hold him back from doing something reckless. Aaron. How does Theodosia start. He has her father's laid back attitude. Instead of whining or crying when he can't get the toy, he'll try to quietly do it himself. While Alexander would smile happily and play with Eliza's hand once he gets a hold of it, Aaron would hug Eliza's hand, tightly and gave a content look as he drifted to sleep.

Both of them enjoyed music. Theodosia spent most of the tries to stop making them cry by playing some songs on the piano. It felt nice. They would sit on the sofa and watch her. Sometimes drifting to sleep, sometimes humming along. Theodosia couldn't wait for them to get bigger and play with her. Maybe she'll teach them different instrument so they can duet.

When they started learning how to speak and talk? Oh my God. The whole rush of happiness attracted almost everyone they know. Phillip and Theodosia almost threw another party just to celebrate it. Ever since then, it's like two little ducklings walking behind Phillip and Theodosia any chances they can. They also try to sing a few complicated songs.

…truth be told, that wasn't all she was doing. She lied.

Once a week, the twins would visit their grandparents house and Theodosia would have some alone time. She spent the first half reviewing the universe; what had happened and what need to happen next. The other half she spent visiting the doctor. She asked the doctor to not tell anyone about the appointments and she carefully hid all the doctor receipts and notes.

Till one time when she actually collapsed again. Phillip was there. He's always there. But this time his expression was different. Instead of the worried face he always gave when she was in this kind of state, his face was filled with anger. Theodosia frowned, tried to sit up. She looked around, trying to find the source of his anger. Then her eyes landed on Phillip's hand. The doctor appointments, receipts and notes. Ones she had always kept hidden was in Phillip's hand. With a hoarse voice Theodosia cried out, "I can explain."

Phillip stopped her with a glare. Theodosia looked down to the blanket, away from Phillip. She doesn't know how to explain. Phillip's voice soothed her as he said, "Face me, have a sip." Theodosia moved her face and Phillip was holding a glass of water for her. Theodosia complied and took some sips, her dry throat no more. Phillip put the glass down on the bed table. Theodosia looked at him, trying to figure out what to say.

"I'm sorry Phillip." She whispered.

"How long?"

"I just-"

"How. Long?"

Theodosia released a deep breath, "A few weeks after the twins' birth."

Phillip took a sharp breath. Calculating correctly, it's been nine or ten months now. Phillip's head hung and his hand stroke his hair. His head spinning and his emotions wavering. Theodosia's guilt grew each passing second. She wanted to speak about something else. She doesn't want to talk about this. The babies? _Where's my babies?_

"Aaron and Alex is at father's house. Don't worry. I just… Theodosia…" Phillip's voice grew smaller for each words. Theodosia took a peek and immediately regretted it. Phillip was having mixed emotions. He looked angry and sad at the same time. Disappointed. All it did was making Theodosia feel worse. Theodosia's hand creep her hand to Phillip's, he responded. Gently, he made his way to his side of the bed and embraced Theodosia. His head on the top of her head as Theodosia relished in his warmth.

"I'm sorry." Theodosia muttered.

"It's okay… just… from now on, I come with you to the doctor, okay?" Phillip asked and Theodosia felt his hand caressed her hair. Warm hands on her head, Theodosia nodded her answer. Her breathing slowed and her eyes closed, another slumber is inviting her in. Phillip never stopped caressing her hair. Once he figured out Theodosia's asleep, he let her head muffled on her hair. Silently he whispered, "Don't hide anything from me. Please."

Theodosia opened her eyes softly. Thanking God Phillip couldn't see her. Thanking God Phillip couldn't read her mind. Theodosia thought, 'I'm sorry. But there's a lot of thing I hid from you.'

After the night, Theodosia felt a little bit better and her condition got better… at least until months later. Theodosia's condition worsens, so much so, she's basically stuck in the house. She could still walk around but too much and she could collapse. After much thoughts and conversations and begging, Theodosia got Phillip to agree for her to have medication out of town.

That's what happening this evening. The big family had said their goodbyes back in the house. Now on the port was Alexander, Aaron and Phillip saying their goodbyes to Theodosia. She dressed so beautifully. Alexander koala-hugged Phillip on his back while Aaron was on his waist. Theodosia melted at the sight of her boys and her man. Really, she couldn't get enough of them. Phillip smiled and leaned toward Theodosia, "Hey, sweethearts, kiss mama goodbye"

"Bye-bye Mama!" Alexander and Aaron said in unison after giving Theodosia kisses on both of her cheeks. Theodosia gave forehead kisses and both their heads, rubbing both their heads at the same time. _Really, I love you both so much._

"Phillip." Theodosia called her husband and looked at her twins once more, "Take care of them, okay?"

"Of course."

"Hey Alexander. Aaron. I love you both so much." Theodosia smiled at both the twins, hugged them one last time and waved goodbye to the kids. Phillip let them down and asked them to wait in the carriage. Theodosia smiled and hung her arms on Phillip's shoulder. Phillip smiled and kissed her nose.

"I love you Phillip Hamilton." Theodosia teased as she pulled her hands together, to keep herself from the chill. Phillip smiled back as he kissed her for real.

"I love you too Theodosia Burr-Hamilton."

One last kiss. One last hug. One last goodbye.

Phillip watched closely as the love of his life walked up and into the boat. She waved goodbye and he waved back, the twins doing the same from the carriage. As Phillip got in the carriage, the twins immediately took his side, whispering to each other how much they missed her already. Phillip had another thought in his mind, 'I wonder… why her kiss feels like it'll be the last.'

Funny thing was, Theodosia forgot the ship would anchor somewhere before the final destination. Which was the reason Jefferson was standing next to Theodosia on the boat. He's getting off on the destination after this, not the same way Theodosia was going. But they were talking about various topics. Having fun feeding from each other's intelligence.

"For every action there's an equal opposite reaction." Thomas Jefferson stated. He walked to her side and looked at the beautiful moon. Theodosia wasn't surprised much. She knew he was onboard. He'll be dropped in the destination before her, a short trip in the sea.

"Newton's third law." Theodosia commented.

"You are well-educated Mrs. Hamilton. Yes. Well take an example of simple things. For stuff, we pay. For money, we work. For liberation, we fight. For-"

"What if we want to change fate? Changing the future?" Theodosia cut off. Jefferson eyed her curiously. He couldn't find anything to link whatsoever. She was just there, looking off to the moon as she hugged herself to fend off he night wind. Jefferson sighed.

"Then pay with something equally. But to change the future… be careful Theodosia, it can cost you your life."

Then he heard her giggle desperately, "My life… huh."

* * *

It was a nice evening. Phillip Hamilton had decided to take an early leave to spend the rest of the night with his boys. Surely enough, they had fun. The three of them played a trio song on the piano. Alexander and Aaron were fighting over which language was better, French or Greek. Though they were starting to master both of it and Latin along the way. At dinner the three boys talked about what they should buy for mother when she got back because they miss her so. Phillip were happy, it's a bit rare for him to have this quality time with his boys.

A loud knock came from the door. The twins went to greet and were shouting back to their father that it was a messenger. Phillip frowned, he was sure he didn't do anything wrong nor was he expecting any letters. Phillip asked the kids to go back to the living room and practice piano. The messenger looked at him, his whole body shaking and he was worried. The mood affected Phillip easily. "As of January second… three days ago… the ship which Mrs. Theodosia Burr Hamilton was on crashed. There were a few survivors but Mrs. Theodosia Burr Hamilton… went missing."

Phillip felt weak. He fell to his knees. He stared at the ground which was no longer clear because of the tears. He felt empty. The messenger only looked down, he hated sending this kind of message especially when he knew how much Phillip loved his wife. The messenger was usually the one who brought letters to them, and he would smile everyday because he can feel the love they both have for each other yet now, he had to be the one who bring the bad news as well. The messenger excused himself and a few minutes later, the twins came. They had their hands wrapped around their father. They were starting to cry as well, reflecting what Phillip was doing. He imagined this wouldn't be the right time to tell them. So all Phillip did was gulped and cried silently with them. He took them to bed, tucked them and sang the sweet lullaby Theodosia used to sing for them. He thought he was done with tears but when he got out of their room, the endless stream of tears continued.

Eliza and Angelica came the next morning. After the twins went to play in the music room. They heard about the news and rushed there. The only thing the women get was Phillip on his bed. Tucked nicely, trying to grab on to what little hope he have left. Eliza, dislike looking at Phillip like that, ran to his side and hugged them. And as if a child was crying over his lost toys, Phillip wailed in his mother's embrace, "She's… lost in the sea."

* * *

 **Writer's Note:** Is there a reason I took so long to update? Yes. One, I couldn't bring myself to kill her. Two, I've gotten pretty busy. I'll still update but maybe it'll take longer than usual. I'm also working on a few one-shots, just to redeem myself from killing Theodosia. So... bye!


	30. Letter

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 29: Letter~**

January 12th 1804.

A letter was sent directly to Mr. Alexander Hamilton. It was from Miss Theodosia Burr. Hamilton received the letter that morning.

* * *

 _To my dearest father,_

 _Alexander Hamilton._

 _If this letter is ever sent to you that means I have left my Earthly career. Yes, I anticipated this. I have no wish for anyone else but you to know of this letter. And if you wondered; No, I did not write Papa, Phillip, or my own child… or maybe children, a letter._

 _If this letter ever reached you. Please, grant me one last wish. Papa, Aaron Burr, will try to drown himself in work because of my death. Maybe even going as far to try campaigning as president. If that happens, please stop him. He doesn't do that because he wants to. He does that because he's trying to keep himself away. Away from the memory that I have died. Instead, let him know, I'll be watching from up in Heaven with mother for the whole family and that I love him so much._

 _If this letter ever reached you. Please, know that my feelings for your son, Phillip Hamilton, is as true as how the sun rose from the east. I love him so, and I know I left him earlier than I'm supposed to. Please make sure he knows and remembers I love him. Also for my sweet children, take care of them._

 _If this letter ever reached you. Please, stand by mother's side. She has a lot of plans she hid behind her. I know you will love her ideas._

 _If this letter ever reached you. Please… father, know that I'll be there for you._

 _Your sweet daughter-in-law,_

 _Theodosia Burr_

* * *

Alexander thought it was a weird letter. A strange one indeed. It was written years before. But he knew he could believe in his daughter-in-law. The Hamilton and Burr family moved uptown and learned to live without Theodosia. Hamilton offered Burr to stay with them, knowing it's lonely to live alone, after a long week of complication, he accepted. Phillip was strong throughout the month. With Theodosia's request and Eliza's help, Hamilton was able to make sure Phillip remembered Theodosia loved him. Phillip raised Alexander and Aaron to their best potential. But Imagine Hamilton's surprise when Burr did exactly as what Theodosia had written.

The election of 1804. Burr tried his best to go toe-to-toe with Thomas Jefferson, even with all the protests coming from Eliza, Maria, Hamilton and Phillip. Hamilton talked to Jefferson and Madison about the Burr's situation and Jefferson worked twice as hard to win. He loved Theodosia and looked at her as if his own daughter after all.

Burr didn't back down.

At the election day, Hamilton endorsed Thomas Jefferson. For two reasons: 1. Jefferson has beliefs, Burr has none and 2. By Theodosia's will. Of course, Burr was mad, angry, furious, raging. So much so that Burr actually challenged Hamilton into a duel. No matter Eliza's protests, Hamilton would only kiss her hand, whispering that it'll be fine. That an angel will always be by his side.


	31. Repetition

**If Only**

 **~Chapter 30: Repetition~**

Is it funny how Phillip had easily settled in life without Theodosia? Truly, he had always dreaded the thought about living life without her, going as far as asking for God to take his life one day before God take hers so he doesn't live a day without her… huh… guess God didn't answer his prayer. Still, he could continue somehow. He would go on his day with the little advices Theodosia gave. Tuck the twins to sleep and give them forehead kisses for good dreams, give them chocolate and big warm hug when they're upset. Alexander likes this and that while Aaron like that and this. Small little things Phillip thought would never matter to him, all those little things are what kept Phillip alive now.

July 10, 1804. Around 10 PM. Phillip was finished tucking his children to bed, gave them their forehead kisses and put their bedtime story book in the shelves, among all the books they have collected over the months. They're bookworms, the same as their father and grandfathers. They're fine, they smiled and kept Theodosia's legacy alive. Her smile, her spirit, her intelligence. They had a fire in them to do better than their parents. Things that Phillip would be and is proud of… well 'proud' is not the word he's looking for. There's so much emotions going through him. Turn the lights off because the twins would wake up if the lights are on. He gave one last look on his and Theodosia's children before smiling to himself sweetly and closed the door.

As he walked the corridor, he sighed. Phillip was showing such happy faces around people he knew and loved but deep inside, he was still down from Theodosia's death. He already accepted it but every time it crosses his mind, it hurt him. He glanced at his workroom, he kept the piano in there, because the twins loved it too. One last glance before he walked to his bedroom.

At 11 PM, Phillip was ready for bed. He couldn't sleep and decided to read a book instead. The book he read with Theodosia when Eliza was sick, and read it again. From chapter one.

It was exactly 12 PM when he felt a sudden chill. Suddenly, he looked past the book and Theodosia was looking at him. Phillip would've scream, he really would've, frightened that a ghost suddenly appeared, but the unbearable feeling of missing her took over. He sat up, the book fallen from his hand and forgotten, he watched as Theodosia's ghost walked toward him. The blue mist of her figure moving closer and the room got colder.

"Phillip…" she called. Phillip might cry, never thought he would ever hear her voice again. It wasn't perfectly the same as when she was human. More mist, more vibration yet less alive.

"…Theodosia…" he muttered, sweetly, like how he used to call her.

"I'm sorry…" Theodosia looked at the ground, "I died."

"…how are you-"

"I knew this would happen." She cut Phillip's words and looked straight into his eyes.

"…then why didn't you-"

"Because I have changed enough of the future." She deadpanned. "Phillip, I have only one more reason to be here." Phillip was silent. He was confused, is not really how he would've described it. Mixed feelings of confusion, anger, sadness and longing. Theodosia knew this and pointed at under her study desk, which Phillip had kept for her memory. "Go grab the most bottom letter from the desk. This letter contains information of what should have happened."

Phillip complied to her wishes. Stood up and opened the drawer, he took the most bottom letter. He eyed how old the paper was then he started reading. The actual timeline of what should have happened. His actual death, his father's death, the betrayal his father did. It was too much to process into his head. He felt his knees weak and he sat down on the chair, head spinning, "…wait. No… was this what was supposed to happen?"

He read every lines carefully again. Noticing that the young Theodosia had written this, years before and there's different ink as the writing got better. The last thing she wrote in the list was 'If only...' Phillip doesn't know what it meant. But he doesn't care too much. That is, till Theodosia suddenly started talking again. "Yes. Changing even the slightest decision changed everything. Phillip, my mother was supposed to die when I was eleven but because I made a decision of meeting you earlier than I should've… and falling in love with you earlier than the original timeline, she died earlier than she was supposed to."

"To stop father from meeting Maria Reynolds, I had to give up lots of my time over the summer and my trust to Papa."

"To convince father to take a break, I got sick."

"To stop the duel from happening, I almost died and..."

"Theo-" Phillip stopped her. He doesn't want to listen to anymore of those.

"There is only one more thing I should do-"

"Theodosia, enough." Phillip slightly raised his voice. He looked at Theodosia, who had slight fear and guilt stricken in her eyes. He took a moment to calm down and stared at her pleadingly, "You have done enough. Please… rest."

She looked down then back at her husband, seconds later she shook her head, "I'm sorry Phillip, but the reason I am even here is because I wished for this."

"Theodosia."

"Grab your coat." She pleaded and pointed at his coat. Her eyes determined and Phillip knew there's no changing her mind now, "We should go now before it's too late."

Phillip grabbed his coat and followed her out of the house. He knew where she's going after a while. Weehawken, why? It's still dawn. While on the boat, Theodosia's ghost hovered on the water and went ahead that was when Phillip saw the two figure. His father and his father in law, standing in front of each other, gun in their hands. Silence struck him.

Burr counted and took his steps, away from Hamilton. He never thought he would be doing this. Why is he doing this even? What had happened really? What stupidity are both of them doing? They had always been good friends, brothers even. They were there for each other's loss. They're family. So… why are they going to point gun at each other now?

Burr's hands trembled as the countdown was zero. He turned around.

"PAPA!" Theodosia shouted her voice till she can feel every inch of her body vibrates. It almost felt like time stopped. Only three man was able to see the ghostly aura in front of them. Theodosia stood in front of Burr, Alexander watched her back and tears threatened to get out of his eyes while Phillip watched from afar.

"Papa. Stop. For me." Theodosia begged. Her eyes full of hope that her father will stop for her. She pointed the sky as she mouthed, 'for me'. Those small few second mattered.

"…Theodosia…" Burr muttered her name, "For you… I'll aim it at the sky for you."

Slowly but surely both men aimed their pistols at the sky. Both of them have their eyes closed but Phillip saw it all. He saw how Theodosia flew to the sky, waving at him goodbye before vanishing into the early morning sun. Burr fell to his knees, crying. Hamilton ran to his longtime best friend, his brother-in-law in a way.

"Aaron Burr, Sir. Duel are dumb and immature after all."

"Yes. Yes it is." Burr stood and wiped his tears away. He accepted the hug. Eliza and Theodosia would've laughed at how childish the two grown men were hugging.

"…can I buy you a drink?" Hamilton offered.

"That would be nice."

The two men threw their guns away, finding no needs for it anymore. The seconds walked behind them and started talking casually, minding their own business. Burr and Hamilton was talking to each other, reminiscing the old times when they would argue but naturally make up at the end. How they owe each other for their future. If it wasn't for Hamilton pushing him, Burr wouldn't have married Theodosia after all. Phillip, on the other hand, stayed on the boat. He was weeping but he knew he needed to fix himself before his kids see him in such a state.

In the boat, Hamilton looked at Burr seriously. "Aaron Burr… one question… why did you throw away your shot?"

Burr smiled, "My angel asked me to."

"Huh…" Alexander knew the only person in this world who Burr called 'Angel' and he remembered about the letter she had sent her. She was there for him after all. Hamilton sighed, "If only we knew this would be how it happened."

"Yes… if only."

* * *

 **Writer's Note:**

I have re-written this hundreds times with couple different endings but at the end I knew this would be the ending I chose. That's… the end. Thanks for following this story! I have Jeggy fluff one-shot coming up soon, look forward to that if you're that heartbroken from this one? I guess?


End file.
